How are the actors and actresses chosen in Indian movies?

The cast system.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/etimretlaet
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 28 2022
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If Santa gets chosen out of a line up does that mean you just had a pick nick?
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Dukenuketildeth
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 28 2022
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This wasn't acci-dental
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/EndersGame_Reviewer
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 03 2023
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Why was the ear of corn chosen to play rugby?

They picked him for being husky

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/RemnantReturning
๐Ÿ“…︎ Sep 04 2022
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George Harrison has finally chosen his pronouns....

I/Me/Mine

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/sineofthetimes
๐Ÿ“…︎ Aug 12 2022
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A perfect one
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/dimlightyyy
๐Ÿ“…︎ Dec 21 2022
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So lately my wife and i were watching "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire" while we were in bed...

I turned to her and said: Do you want to have sex honey?

No, she answered.

So i said is that your final answer?

She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying, 'Yes'!

So i said, then I'd like to phone a friend.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/AnimatorNr1
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 13 2022
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My girlfriend and I got into a fight about which cinema seats she'd chosen for our date.

But now we're Row K.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/incredibleinkpen
๐Ÿ“…︎ Sep 10 2021
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Need some Christmas dad jokes

I am a high school teacher and have been chosen to participate in a โ€œDonโ€™t make me laugh Christmas editionโ€ against another teacher. I get 5 Christmas Dad jokes to try to make the other person laugh. Let me know what you have!

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/fuzzy-----dunlop
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 10 2022
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My Italian mother never returned from the war

Mama Mia!

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/mal221
๐Ÿ“…︎ Aug 20 2022
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Reposting this one because it didn't get enough upvotes last time.

1

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/aphaelion
๐Ÿ“…︎ Feb 20 2022
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What were the odds in 1957 of being the exact stray dog chosen to be the first living thing in space?

Laika million to one

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Y2KoNo
๐Ÿ“…︎ Feb 23 2020
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Dustin Hoffman gets chosen for a role of playing an much older Joaquin Phoenix.

In one particular scene heโ€™s strolling down a busy street in NYC and a taxi almost hits him. He slams the hood of the taxi and yells

Hey Iโ€™m Joaquin here!

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Dyspaereunia
๐Ÿ“…︎ Mar 14 2021
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โ€œDad, why donโ€™t you ever make Star Wars puns?โ€

โ€œLook. Iโ€™m your father. Iโ€™m not a comedian.โ€

Happy Fatherโ€™s Day, SW nerds and everyone else.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Gingi0
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 19 2022
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My son has chosen the Pillsbury Doughboy to emulate...

I'm proud he chose a good roll model.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/thomasbrakeline
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 04 2020
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I wonder how Rome was split into two.

With a pair of Caesars. Duh.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/padfootforHP
๐Ÿ“…︎ Aug 23 2022
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Yo Dadda so fat, he left to get milk 5 years ago and you can still see him

Oh...Dad jokes. Not dad jokes. Apologies

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๐Ÿ“…︎ May 24 2022
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If Heisenberg had chosen to become a comedian...

he could have been the one who knock knocks.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Rawrlix
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 21 2016
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My eight-year-old son's autumn themed joke: What did the human say to the leaf?

Nice of you to drop by!

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/DanOfAllTrades80
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 27 2021
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You were the chosen one!
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/WhiteChickenYT
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 06 2019
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What did Minnie Mouse name her child?

Minimum Mouse.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/ItsShoesHere
๐Ÿ“…︎ Dec 28 2021
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I finally was chosen to picked toppings for the hot dogs!

I relished the opportunity!

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/thomasbrakeline
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 05 2020
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On our imaginary trip to Maui, my boy and I both stubbed our toes at the same. We were the chosen ones because we were gifted...

The Hurt of two feetie.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/simmsnation
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 20 2020
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Where do Sith Lords go shopping?
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/elektrodinosaur
๐Ÿ“…︎ Feb 01 2021
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the officer cried while he wrote me a ticket

He said it was a moving violation

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Gl3nnsth3man
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 18 2022
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Why wasnโ€™t the pig chosen in the football/soccer team?

It was a ball hogger.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/kilokiilo
๐Ÿ“…︎ Feb 19 2020
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Lifeguards are sad to report the drowning of a hippie last night.

He was too far out, man.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Texgymratdad
๐Ÿ“…︎ Feb 26 2021
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Why was Robert Patterson chosen as Batman?

Unlike Twilight, he can't suck as Batman.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Anthonybrose
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 17 2019
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I'm preparing to teach my son the alphabet.
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/ncsuandrew12
๐Ÿ“…︎ Sep 17 2020
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Three musicians were arrested

They were violion people

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Slymood
๐Ÿ“…︎ Dec 05 2020
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I was chosen to be the judge for our office's necktie competition, but it was a really hard decision.

It ended up a tie.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/yerboiboba
๐Ÿ“…︎ Dec 31 2018
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Four-year-old son unknowingly got me with this one

Me: We need to put on our jackets because it's a little cold outside today.

Son after stepping outside: No Dad, it's a big cold

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Chateau512
๐Ÿ“…︎ Feb 12 2020
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Yoda didnโ€™t know what time it was. He explained...

โ€œNot on, my watch.โ€

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Unfussed
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 20 2020
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Belle shouldn't have chosen the Beast. The other guy was a much better cook.

He had experience in molecular Gastonomy.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/marimbawe
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 31 2018
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The hardest thing about wrapping paper is...

Not many words rhyme with โ€œpaperโ€.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/jeremec
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 24 2021
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My favorite Queen song imgur.com/Ycxla9A
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Dizchord
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 27 2015
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On a lone expedition through Bangladesh, I made the rookie mistake of exhausting my food supply.

After four days of nothing to eat I was delirious from starvation. In my desperation I went hunting for the first thing that looked remotely appetizing. Soon I stumbled upon an indigenous macaque, and with a focused throw of my spear I skewered it in one hit.

Only half the battle was over, though. I had no idea what to do with this corpse. I've cooked easy things like beef, poultry, and pork but never a monkey. Fortunately, a wandering traveler came by, so I asked him how I should prepare it. He said, "That's easy. Just boil the monkey. Nice and fast." Then he left.

While it did sound easy, boiled meat usually doesn't taste good. However, another wandering traveler soon meandered by, so I asked him what to do. He said, "If you're patient and want good flavor, slowly spit roast the monkey over a fire." He then walked away.

That sounded much better, but I was too hungry to wait that long. As fate would have it, a third wandering traveler sauntered by, so I asked for his advice. He said, "If you're pressed for time but still want something delicious, then skin the monkey, render its fat, and deep fry the meat in its own fat." He went on his way.

I had three unique options to pick from, and while I hadn't immediately chosen one I definitely learned something new:

There's no wrong way to eat a rhesus.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/JoeFas
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 24 2021
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Proudest day as a dad

My 6 year old son came up to me tonight and asked, "What are you holding under there?" I ask, "Under where?"

He walks away, laughing his ass off.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/KhabaLox
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 15 2014
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I've designed a tea brand aimed at Jewish Men

Hebrews

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Flumpf_
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 04 2018
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Just tried to dad joke my boss. Went over his head.

He's complaining about all this costly work his minivan needs including some $1,700 exhaust work...

Me: Yeah, I hear you, maintaining vehicles can be exhausting...

Couldn't wipe the shit eating grin off my face as he kept talking.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/HerrHoopla
๐Ÿ“…︎ Dec 26 2017
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Great joke, albeit a bit long winded.

There was once a boy. He was the son of the richest man in the universe. Mark Zuckerberg, Bill Gates, he dwarfed them all. He was a multi-trillionaire. Now, it was this boy's birthday. His father asked him,

"My son. I am the richest man in the universe. I could buy you anything you want for your birthday. A store full of lego, all the video games in the world, anything. What would you like?"

His son replied.

"Oh father. It would make me the happiest boy in the world if you could get me one pink ping pong ball."

His father was rather confused by this request. Out of all the things he could've chosen, his son chose a ping pong ball. Nonetheless, he agreed and gave him a pink ping pong ball. His son was overjoyed and spoke to him.

"My father, you have made me the happiest boy in the world. May I go up to my room and play with my pink ping pong ball?"

"Okay son, go ahead."

The boy then went up to his room and played with his pink ping pong ball. When his father went in the next morning to check on him, the boy was sleeping in his bed and the pink ping pong ball was nowhere to be found.

On the boy's next birthday, his father asked him again.

"My son. I am the richest man in the universe. I could buy you anything you want for your birthday. What would you like?"

His son replied.

"Oh father. It would make me the happiest boy in the world if you could get me one box full of pink ping pong balls."

His father was again, confused by this. Still, he bought a cardboard box and filled it with ping pong balls. He gave it to his son, who said.

"My father, you have made me the happiest boy in the world. May I go up to my room and play with my pink ping pong balls?"

The father nodded, and the son went up to his room to play. The next morning when his father went to check, the boy was sleeping peacefully and there were no pink ping pong balls in sight. Just the empty cardboard box in the middle of the room.

On the boy's next birthday, his father asked him again.

"My son. I am the richest man in the universe. I could buy you anything you want for your birthday. What would you like?"

"Oh father. It would make me the happiest boy in the world if you could get me one truck full of ping pong balls."

Now, by this point, the father was extremely confused. Why did the boy want so many pink ping pong balls and where were they going? He asked.

"My son. You are the most precious thing in the world to me and I can certainly get you this, but may I ask, why do you want

... keep reading on reddit โžก

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/phrresehelp
๐Ÿ“…︎ Mar 17 2021
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Spotted in the wild today
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Joes_Step_Mama
๐Ÿ“…︎ Feb 05 2020
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