Chocolate Candy Puns

I don't know how far this Reese eating airline goes...

Wily Wanka!

Pangs of gelt haunt me to this day!

That box has truffle written all over it.

The pirate says, "Arrr! I've got a Bounty on me head!"

The archeologists believe he was known as Pharaoh Rocher!

Soft drinks, potato chips, chocolate cookies and candy

What do you call candy that has been stolen?

Hot chocolate!

I was checking out at the dollar with a Sprite, some chocolate Bunnie candies and cream eggs yesterday. As I approach the counter, the dude asks me if I found everything alright.

I pause for a moment, think about it, and say to him.

"So, I see you guys have the Easter candy out. Any idea on when you'll have in the Wester candy?"

The dude thought about it seriously for a second, then he got it. He looks dead at me as I'm sure I had the dumbest smile on my face, groans and starts laughing too.

I saw a white, fluffy thing swinging through my local cake shop. Suspect it was a meringue-utang.

I was out driving the other day and I spotted two packets of cheese & onion crisps walking down the road. I said, “Do you want a lift”. “No thanks”, they replied, “We’re Walkers”.

I was in a cake shop the other day, they were all £5 apart from one that was £10. I asked why it was so expensive, the shop owner said “that’s maderia cake”.

Bought some cream, it said “store in a cool place”. So I left it in the Doctor Who studios.

Local ice cream man was found lying on the floor of his van covered with hundreds and thousands. Police say that he topped himself.

I used to love doughnuts, but I got bored of the whole thing.

A man says “I keep finding custard in one ear, and jelly in the other”. The doctor says “I’m afraid you are a trifle deaf”.

I bought a waffle iron the other day. Get really annoyed with wrinkled waffles.

How do you make an apple puff? Chase it around the garden

What do they call a man who abandoned his diet? DESSERTER.

Ice cream is exquisite… –what a pity it isn’t illegal.

The optimist sees the doughnut, the pessimist sees the hole, and the realist sees the calories.

Why did Eve bite the forbidden apple? Because it tasted better than Adam’s banana.

Why did the students eat their homework? Because the teacher said that it was a piece of cake.

Why do we put candles on top of a birthday cake? Because it’s too hard to put them on the bottom!

When is a birthday cake like a golf ball? When it’s been sliced.

What did the cake say to the fork? you want a piece of me?

Why was the birthday cake as hard as a rock? Because it was marble cake!

What happens when no one comes to your birthday party? You can have your cake and eat it too.

What do they serve at birthday parties in heaven? Angel food cake, of course!

A birthday greeting: For someone special as you, only ANGELFOOD would do. HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

Did you hear there are two suspects in Two Ton Charley’s death? BEN and JERRY.

Don’t eat too much fudge, or else you will have so much pudge you won’t be able to budge.

You know you’re a mom if… Popsicles have become a staple food.

Mexican candy makes my taste buds say “OLE!”

FORGET LOVE… I’

Years ago, my father and his wife were stuffing whoppers, sour patch kids and other assorted candies into stockings. He turns to her and says in all seriousness, "Did you just fart?"

She says no, of course.

Dad: "That's funny, because I smell a whopper!"

Additional info if necessary - Whoppers are chocolate covered malt balls.

Daughter: Dad, can I have an After Eight? (A thin chocolate mint candy) Me: (Snaps one in two) It's only 4:05, you'd better have half. Daughter: (Evil eye)