I bet their Cicadian Rhythm is totally out of whack.
...he has chirpes.
'What's that?'
'It's a cararial disease... and, by the way, it's untweetable.'
I was watching my friend's softball game last night, sitting with his wife as their two twin 4-ish-year-old daughters ran around. One of them was intent on finding the crickets that were chirping all night. Finally she runs up to us and says "I hear the crickets over there. I'm going to go look for them!"
As she runs off I say "Watch, all she'll find over there is a bad comedian."
Forgive me, it's a problem.
I have read that puns are not a feature of German humour...
So are German Dad's humourless? I doubt it.
Some examples of German (or any other non-English) Dad jokes please!
Dad: Hey, wanna hear a bird joke?
Me: Sure
Dad: begins chirping
When my dad and I were dropping my sister off at brownie camp a few weeks ago, several of the adults came over to us to say hello. They introduced themselves as Snowy Owl, Tawny Owl, and Barn Owl. My dad chirps in with "So is that the pecking order then?" and elbows me in the ribs, cackling away.
My son is almost 3, he has started wrapping himself in the towel after bathtime, crawling into a ball and declaring he is an egg.
"Mummy sit on me to make me hatch" etc. He says in there for really long and then bursts out chirping, however yesterday he burst out and said :
"I'm an EXPENSIVE baby chick"
So I was eating dinner with my mother and step dad last night and I accidentally dropped a spoonful of green peas on the floor.
Mother: Aw Alex! Me: Shit, I just peed all over the floor!
::Mom and step dad look at me in disgust along with the chirping of crickets.::
Good one from my dad when I was a kid: When my sisters and I would get in our seats in the car, my dad, without fail, would turn around and say, "Remember what the safety chicken says!" And, in a chicken chirp voice, he'd say, "Bucklup! Bucklup!"
My family was eating dinner, and my sister starts talking about how she sometimes sweats randomly out of her left armpit, She mentions it only happens in the left, and only slows down when she uses Men's Deodorants. My dad chirps in "Are you using Right Guard? You can use that on both sides, you know."
We were sitting at lunch and my father has the text message ring tone that sounds like a bird chirping when it rings. He was receiving a lot of messages at lunch and kept asking the waitress if there was a bird in the restaurant. My mother became irritated and exclaimed, "I'll show you the bird" and then proceeded to flip him off and keel over laughing at her own joke.
Son: Dad, what are birds saying when they chirp? Me: Well that one just asked his friend if he wanted to go for a burger. Son: Don't you mean a Birdger?
lol I was so proud.
So my wife say, showing me a picture on Facebook of the guy she goes to see to get her future told, "This is my medium."
"Looks more like a small to me."
*** Crickets chirp and tumble-weed rolls through the lounge-room ***
Me: Why do crickets all chirp at the same tempo? Dad: It's a gang thing.
