My jealous neighbor, the old bastard, seeded my lawn with dandelions! But I'll get him back tonight by planting flowering plants characterized by leaves with sharp prickles on the margins...

I figure thistle be the best revenge!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jul 27 2021
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A panda walks into a restaurant and orders a plate of bamboo…

When he’s finished with his meal, he hops up onto the table, pulls out two Glock 45s and unloads both magazines, blasting everything in sight.

When the guns empty, he throws them down and starts walking towards the door. The bartender looks up from behind the bar and yells, β€œHey! What the hell, man?”

The panda yells back at the bartender, "Hey, I'm a PANDA! Look it up!" The bartender opens his dictionary and sees the following definition for panda:

"A tree dwelling bear of Asian orgin, characterized by distinct black and white coloring. Eats bamboo shoots and leaves.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/toasterstrewdal
πŸ“…︎ Mar 01 2022
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So a snake walks in to a bar

The bartender says, "How'd you do that?"

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/X-pertNinja
πŸ“…︎ Aug 31 2017
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A lot of people are shocked by the recent events in NASCAR

What is often characterized as a very conservative organization has taken a stance against racism. I'm not surprised at all though. To anyone who's been paying attention, from its very beginnings, NASCAR has always been veering to the left.

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πŸ“…︎ Jun 22 2020
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