Attire
She gets too agitated.
Netflix & chilldren
It only took a million years.
"Cow was your day?"
My husband & myself having a casual conversation about rice.
Me: remember when I made that real good rice at the chili cook-off?
Him: uh, yeah sure, I guess.
Me: everyone said they liked it & It was the only rice there!
him: oh. I don't like rice. I'm a ricist.
HAHAHAHAHAHA!
I don't think you're suited for the job
There were casual tees everywhere.
They notice a sign for the watchtower challenge. They ask the tour guide what it’s about and he says “if you can drop your watch from the top of the old watchtower and catch it before it hits the ground, you win a million in gold to take home.” The Englishman goes first, drops his watch and runs down the steps, but he’s got no chance and his watch is completely broken. Then the Scotsman tries: he throws his watch up as high as he can to get more time, but his watch also smashes on the ground. But then the Irishman goes. He drops his watch and casually strolls down the watchtower steps. He goes straight over the road for a couple of drinks at the pub, and plays a game of pool. He then walks back over the road, waits a few minutes and catches his watch. The tour guide asks, “how did you manage that?” and the Irishman says “it was easy… my watch is an hour slow.”
"What is your biggest weakness?"
"Spiders," I replied.
"Professional ones?"
I said, "I don't know, I've never seen one in a suit before."
So I work at a company that manufactures steel bolts, nuts, washers, anchor/bent bolts, rebar, chains etc. and I'm trying to come up with a t-shirt design for the holiday season. I have the visuals that I want down (a snowflake made out of nuts) but because it's going to be a more fun design ths I've been trying to think of a little pun that I could put across the back, and I'm coming up short.
If it helps we do a lot of forging, pointing, threading, cutting and shipping. We work with steel (and hardened steel) 90% of the time. My workplace is pretty casual so don't feel the need to keep it PG.
Me: "Are you roaring at me or is that a Lego monster?"
Her: "Its me."
Me: "Why are you roaring at me?"
Her: "Because I'm Aurora!"
My five year old daughter, everyone. She came up with that on her own. I've never felt more proud!
They said there were casual-trees!
“They’re going to be napping papers”
Because if full of casuals.
My family and I were driving down the interstate when we saw the ol' red and blues flashing up ahead of us. I moved to the next lane to provide some extra room for the officer and whoever got pulled over. As we pass by, we see that the police cruiser is all by itself, parked but with the lights flashing. Wifey casually says, "Looks like Megamind got pulled over."
I don't think I've ever been so proud.
There were many casual tees
We were driving around town and I was pointing out to him all the happening spots when he casually said, "looks pretty dead in here."
I look over to see him gesturing towards the local graveyard...
He asked a lot of softball questions.
Son: Dad, where did I come from?
Dad: From my penis, son.
Son: Uh... Thanks?
Dad: You're Whale cum
Me: Dinner is served as soon as you dress the salad.
Wife: What are you thinking?
Me: Business casual.
As he arrived, he decided to go fishing, so he did. But tragedy struck and his boat hit a rock, making a hole. The man, as anyone would do, called the coast guard and yelled "IM SINKING IM SINKING!"
the German Coast Guard casually replied, "what are you sinking about?"
To minimise casual tees
They hate filthy casuals.
I am a bit proud of what I achieved today. I promise that this is spontaneous to me, even though I might have heard the word somewhere else.
So my older children are up and waiting for breakfast, and they started talking about a game variety of Parkour, and the word “legendary” is being thrown around casually. So I ask them if they know what legendary means, and my son says, after a minute of thinking, that it means very amazing. I answered, “No, legendary means super famous milk.” Took them half a minute to figure out and I got the biggest groans ever!
The tur-KEY.
Also, the key to a fun visit to the zoo is the mon-key.
And the key to a great science fiction movies is a Woo-key.
To ensure the maximum amount of eye-rolls, casually drop these into the conversation several minutes apart.
My father and I are sitting at the table . He's on his computer and suddenly....
Dad: Huh.
Me: What?
Dad: The Vatican is buying Chrysler.
Me: That's a little weird.
Dad: Yeah, they're rebranding as Jesus Chrysler.
groans
He's used the same napkin since 1974. He just scares the shit out of it.
I'll be going as a Casualty
To minimize casual tees
According to him, their first date was "A Casual tea"..
It's called a casual tea
Attire
To minimize casual tees...
