You take the 'S' out of Safe and the 'F' out of Way.
........ (There is no F in' way)
There was a Gap in the market
Their tails were wagon!
It was tired of being pushed around.
Just saying.
The second shopping cart is a cheese grater.
I’ve already pulled him and the cart up to past the check out folks so I could start putting bags in the cart. The women in the lane over says, “Oh hello there handsome!” Obviously talking to my son, however I shout back, “Oh hey! How’s it going?”
The woman checking us out laughed so hard she had to take a step back and the woman I said it to was so red faced and chuckling she couldn’t really say much! The few folks in line began laughing too so it was pretty funny and the epitome of dad joke! Ha! I’ve made it!
They’re always getting pushed around.
and sat down on a barstool. After a while, the bartender came up to him.
"Do you want anything to drink?" asked the bartender.
"I don't think so," said René Descartes.
Then he vanished.
I'm going through a lot right now.
There's a lot to unpack here.
I think it’s one of those tasking apps, based on how much they seem to spend on laundry
Guess that makes me an iWitness.
I'm more of a mourning person.
The monk said "make me one with everything."
Monk handed him a $20 bill. Vendor handed him his hot dog.
The monk asked for his change.
The vendor replied "change must come from within."
I saw a man slipping celery into other people's shopping carts...
I believe he was a stalker.
Ya know what, he looks like a really fun guy.
fun guy
fungi
...Colby
There was gold in them/their hills!
I work in a nursery in the baby room and have fathers day coming up. One of my parents loves the Beatles so for his card I wanted to create 'the Feetles' using the baby's foot prints. Currently I have Ring-toe and Hairyson
How do I turn John Lennon and Paul McCartney into feet puns?
"I think I'd prefer a cart," she said, "wheelbarrows look a little unwieldy to me."
"I disagree," I replied. "Wheelbarrows are actually one-wheel-dy."
See, the joke is about Descartes’ famous philosophy of ‘I think, therefore I am’ but to explain that before the rest of the joke is to put Descartes before the horse.
The par-king space.
and now I falafel
The young guy says, “That’s okay. It’s a coincidence. I’m looking for my wife, too. I can’t find her and I’m getting a bit anxious.”
The old guy says, “Well maybe we can help each other. What does your wife look like?"
The young guy says, “She is 28 years-old, tall, with brown hair, blue eyes, long legs, big boobs and she’s wearing tight white shorts. What does your wife look like?”
The old guy says, “Doesn't matter, let’s look for yours.”
Or you could say the peter parker, spied a man.
Aldi honest, sometimes they're just too Lidl.
Because he’s Adam Driver
It’ll be Trial by Fire.
hot dog cart: I'm sorry we're out of buns but you can still have the hot dogs
Me: "No thanks. My Anaconda don't want none, unless you got buns hun"
There's no Allah-carte option.
“Left some gas in it for you”
As they sat in the home end, Angus turned to Brian and said "Y'know what, I'm hungry. You see a tucker anywhere nearby I can grab a snack from?"
Brian scanned his surroundings and saw only a single snack cart, all the way at the Anfield Road end of the stadium. Dejected, Brian says, "Forget it Angus. It's a long way from the Kop if you want a sausage roll."
...would it have windows?
My daughter saw this joke on YouTube and I thought y’all would appreciate it.
It was a Natalie Portman-tow
It was getting pushed around.
It was tired of getting pushed around.
