"So you're saying these carbon monoxide sensors are good?"

"Well, no one has come back with a complaint yet."

πŸ‘︎ 173
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SystemLog
πŸ“…︎ May 21 2021
🚨︎ report
Dating between carbon descendants
πŸ‘︎ 4k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dattara
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2020
🚨︎ report
I’m in favor of three-carbon alkanes.

I’m pro-pane!

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Sir_Pluses
πŸ“…︎ May 03 2021
🚨︎ report
In love with Carbon
πŸ‘︎ 6k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/LazyYoda
πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2020
🚨︎ report
Maybe carbon doesn't want to be a diamond

it's just pressured into it

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Feb 08 2021
🚨︎ report
I heard there was quarrel between Carbon alloys

I bet it was graphite.

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/cbsxact7
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2021
🚨︎ report
How can you tell how strong a drink’s carbonation is?

Its fizzyque.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/zedhead0628
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2021
🚨︎ report
A tree’s wood is 50% carbon, 42% oxygen, 6% hydrogen, 1% nitrogen

You can call it a chemis-tree

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Wergio256
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a feline paralyzed from drinking carbonated water?

Catatonic

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2021
🚨︎ report
If H20 is on the inside of a fire hydrant, what’s on the outside?

K9P

πŸ‘︎ 912
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/OwenJthomas89
πŸ“…︎ Mar 14 2021
🚨︎ report
The Carbon Monoxide detector went of last night,

Can't say I remember why though.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2020
🚨︎ report
I stopped walking on coal to limit my carbon footprint
πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Dutch_Midget
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2020
🚨︎ report
Where do diamonds come from?

Carbon dating.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/KhaleesiDog
πŸ“…︎ May 14 2021
🚨︎ report
iron told carbon a joke so funny...

that he decided to steel it

πŸ‘︎ 61
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/tac_force_knife
πŸ“…︎ Feb 23 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the Lithium ion battery say to the Zinc-Carbon battery?

You only live once.

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kilokiilo
πŸ“…︎ Feb 06 2020
🚨︎ report
A revolutionary new way of cutting carbon emissions, shortcuts under hills that can only be used by cars with more than 2 occupants

I call it Carpool Tunnel

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Raymonator88
πŸ“…︎ Feb 28 2020
🚨︎ report
My friend showed me his plan to get and drink a frozen carbonated beverage available in fruit and soda flavors.

"Icee!" I exclaimed exuberantly.

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Mar 06 2020
🚨︎ report
I don’t have a carbon footprint

because I just drive everywhere

πŸ‘︎ 22
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/pandacoat
πŸ“…︎ Feb 25 2020
🚨︎ report
What Chinese cooking utensil is carbon-neutal, vegan and gluten free?

A woke

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Vicdomen
πŸ“…︎ Apr 24 2020
🚨︎ report
Mineral water can be non-carbonated.

But it's still water.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Heavenly-Raven
πŸ“…︎ Mar 07 2020
🚨︎ report
I graduated with a Chemistry degree, but the only job I got was testing carbonated beverages.

It was Soda grading.

πŸ‘︎ 119
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 18 2019
🚨︎ report
I went out with a coal miner's daughter. I guess you could say I was carbon dated.
πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/NewGamerOK
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2018
🚨︎ report
Two carbons walk into a bar together, they had a few drinks and really liked each other by the end of it.

Carbon dating

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Hank_the_Hand
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the new dating website for chemists?

It's called carbon dating.

πŸ‘︎ 58
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Imholt11
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2020
🚨︎ report
I see and It's Carbon, Radium, Phosphorus... (CRaP)
πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mralijey
πŸ“…︎ Feb 25 2019
🚨︎ report
Why were the paleontologists kissing?

They were carbon dating

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/gameboy90
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2020
🚨︎ report
Everyone in a house died from carbon monoxide poisoning...

Except the kids. They were in the living room.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/HerpDerpMcChirp
πŸ“…︎ Sep 26 2019
🚨︎ report
You cannot buy a carbonated beverage any larger than 8 oz in the state of Minnesota
πŸ‘︎ 21
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Money_fingers
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2018
🚨︎ report
What do you call a vehicle made out is carbon and argon? (OC)

A CAr

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ships-n-dip
πŸ“…︎ Sep 11 2018
🚨︎ report
The Tinder 'date' guarantee -- Dated / Outdated / Carbon-dated
πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Kauntest
πŸ“…︎ Sep 20 2018
🚨︎ report
What do you call a calcium carbonate flavoured latte?

A chalk-latte

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/pabesh17
πŸ“…︎ Jul 31 2019
🚨︎ report
My grandfathers last wish was that we convert his ashes into a diamond.

That’s a lot of pressure.

πŸ‘︎ 9k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2019
🚨︎ report
Why should you never take six carbon atoms on a boat?

You will get C6

πŸ‘︎ 75
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Feelwizard
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2015
🚨︎ report
I soda not see that comming
πŸ‘︎ 4k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MrwaffleMssyrup
πŸ“…︎ Sep 12 2019
🚨︎ report
What did carbon say as it killed its two closest friends?

Die oxide.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ShadowPlayer51
πŸ“…︎ Mar 08 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did the Ironlady never had a kid with the carbon man?

It was high chances it could be a steelborn.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Kardight
πŸ“…︎ May 03 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you get when you replace the carbonation in a cola with helium?

A coke float.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/yaboymas
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26 2019
🚨︎ report
My friend who worked at an orange soda factory said they had small boats in thier factory

I heard they go sailing on the hi-c's

πŸ‘︎ 25
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/gnar_owl
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22 2020
🚨︎ report
Carbon dating
πŸ‘︎ 163
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/elpintogrande
πŸ“…︎ Jun 03 2014
🚨︎ report
My friend died by consuming excess amounts of Calcium Carbonate.

He chalked himself to death.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/sodomicity
πŸ“…︎ Feb 08 2019
🚨︎ report
I built and sold a machine which can detect and remove carbon monoxide from the air.

My customer says he is very happy with the CO-OPERATION

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Born4Dota2
πŸ“…︎ Feb 14 2019
🚨︎ report
Why are Christians so opposed to carbon dating?

Because they think carbon should be married already.

πŸ‘︎ 23
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/GeeZeR_FroG
πŸ“…︎ May 17 2018
🚨︎ report
Which animal lives underground and conists of exactly 12 gramms of carbon?

A mole

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Jockl132
πŸ“…︎ Feb 24 2018
🚨︎ report
My son dressed up as Satan and started combining oxygen, nitrogen, argon, carbon dioxide and methane.

He's got a real Devil-make-air attitude.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2018
🚨︎ report
What do you call illegal trafficking of carbon dioxide?

smoggling

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/murO420
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2018
🚨︎ report
My grandfather keeps telling us that when he dies, we should try to convert his ashes into a diamond.

That’s a lot of pressure.

πŸ‘︎ 9k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Apr 29 2019
🚨︎ report
Why is fatty acid the coolest carbon chain?

Because it's fat with a pH

πŸ‘︎ 33
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/An_Arrogant_Ass
πŸ“…︎ Jul 12 2017
🚨︎ report

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