Dating between carbon descendants
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dattara
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2020
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Maybe carbon doesn't want to be a diamond

it's just pressured into it

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πŸ“…︎ Feb 08 2021
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I heard there was quarrel between Carbon alloys

I bet it was graphite.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cbsxact7
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2021
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In love with Carbon
πŸ‘︎ 6k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LazyYoda
πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2020
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How can you tell how strong a drink’s carbonation is?

Its fizzyque.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/zedhead0628
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2021
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What do you call a feline paralyzed from drinking carbonated water?

Catatonic

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πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2021
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A tree’s wood is 50% carbon, 42% oxygen, 6% hydrogen, 1% nitrogen

You can call it a chemis-tree

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Wergio256
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2020
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The Carbon Monoxide detector went of last night,

Can't say I remember why though.

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πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2020
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I stopped walking on coal to limit my carbon footprint
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dutch_Midget
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2020
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iron told carbon a joke so funny...

that he decided to steel it

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tac_force_knife
πŸ“…︎ Feb 23 2020
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What did the Lithium ion battery say to the Zinc-Carbon battery?

You only live once.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kilokiilo
πŸ“…︎ Feb 06 2020
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A revolutionary new way of cutting carbon emissions, shortcuts under hills that can only be used by cars with more than 2 occupants

I call it Carpool Tunnel

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Raymonator88
πŸ“…︎ Feb 28 2020
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My friend showed me his plan to get and drink a frozen carbonated beverage available in fruit and soda flavors.

"Icee!" I exclaimed exuberantly.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Mar 06 2020
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Did you hear about the new dating website for chemists?

It's called carbon dating.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Imholt11
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2020
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Why were the paleontologists kissing?

They were carbon dating

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πŸ‘€︎ u/gameboy90
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2020
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What Chinese cooking utensil is carbon-neutal, vegan and gluten free?

A woke

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Vicdomen
πŸ“…︎ Apr 24 2020
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I don’t have a carbon footprint

because I just drive everywhere

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πŸ‘€︎ u/pandacoat
πŸ“…︎ Feb 25 2020
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Mineral water can be non-carbonated.

But it's still water.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Heavenly-Raven
πŸ“…︎ Mar 07 2020
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I graduated with a Chemistry degree, but the only job I got was testing carbonated beverages.

It was Soda grading.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 18 2019
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Two carbons walk into a bar together, they had a few drinks and really liked each other by the end of it.

Carbon dating

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hank_the_Hand
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2019
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I went out with a coal miner's daughter. I guess you could say I was carbon dated.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/NewGamerOK
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2018
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Everyone in a house died from carbon monoxide poisoning...

Except the kids. They were in the living room.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HerpDerpMcChirp
πŸ“…︎ Sep 26 2019
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My friend who worked at an orange soda factory said they had small boats in thier factory

I heard they go sailing on the hi-c's

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πŸ‘€︎ u/gnar_owl
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22 2020
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I see and It's Carbon, Radium, Phosphorus... (CRaP)
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mralijey
πŸ“…︎ Feb 25 2019
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What's a pirate's favourite element in the periodic table?

Gold. Why would he like argon or carbon

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Schrodingers_liar
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2020
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My grandfathers last wish was that we convert his ashes into a diamond.

That’s a lot of pressure.

πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2019
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What do you call a calcium carbonate flavoured latte?

A chalk-latte

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πŸ‘€︎ u/pabesh17
πŸ“…︎ Jul 31 2019
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I soda not see that comming
πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MrwaffleMssyrup
πŸ“…︎ Sep 12 2019
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You cannot buy a carbonated beverage any larger than 8 oz in the state of Minnesota
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Money_fingers
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2018
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What do you call a vehicle made out is carbon and argon? (OC)

A CAr

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ships-n-dip
πŸ“…︎ Sep 11 2018
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The Tinder 'date' guarantee -- Dated / Outdated / Carbon-dated
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kauntest
πŸ“…︎ Sep 20 2018
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What do you get when you replace the carbonation in a cola with helium?

A coke float.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/yaboymas
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26 2019
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What did carbon say as it killed its two closest friends?

Die oxide.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ShadowPlayer51
πŸ“…︎ Mar 08 2019
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Why did the Ironlady never had a kid with the carbon man?

It was high chances it could be a steelborn.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kardight
πŸ“…︎ May 03 2019
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Why should you never take six carbon atoms on a boat?

You will get C6

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Feelwizard
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2015
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My friend died by consuming excess amounts of Calcium Carbonate.

He chalked himself to death.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sodomicity
πŸ“…︎ Feb 08 2019
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I built and sold a machine which can detect and remove carbon monoxide from the air.

My customer says he is very happy with the CO-OPERATION

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Born4Dota2
πŸ“…︎ Feb 14 2019
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Why are Christians so opposed to carbon dating?

Because they think carbon should be married already.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GeeZeR_FroG
πŸ“…︎ May 17 2018
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My son dressed up as Satan and started combining oxygen, nitrogen, argon, carbon dioxide and methane.

He's got a real Devil-make-air attitude.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2018
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My grandfather keeps telling us that when he dies, we should try to convert his ashes into a diamond.

That’s a lot of pressure.

πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Apr 29 2019
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Which animal lives underground and conists of exactly 12 gramms of carbon?

A mole

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jockl132
πŸ“…︎ Feb 24 2018
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Carbon dating
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πŸ‘€︎ u/elpintogrande
πŸ“…︎ Jun 03 2014
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What do you call illegal trafficking of carbon dioxide?

smoggling

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πŸ‘€︎ u/murO420
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2018
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If you are born in a car and die outside, you are literally

Carbon Dioxide

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tutrois
πŸ“…︎ Jul 27 2020
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Why is fatty acid the coolest carbon chain?

Because it's fat with a pH

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πŸ‘€︎ u/An_Arrogant_Ass
πŸ“…︎ Jul 12 2017
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Physiology used to be the study of carbonated soda.

Until they changed the spelling.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ajumpsbshoots
πŸ“…︎ Jun 19 2017
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My mom bought nasty sparkling water drinks. My brother said it tasted like devil incarnate.

I said it tasted like devil carbonate :D

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πŸ“…︎ Jul 09 2020
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What school subject does thr production of carbonated beverages fall under?

Chemistry or fizz-ics?

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Skystrike7
πŸ“…︎ Jun 30 2017
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