What does a presidential candidate who cant get his votes up suffer from?

Electile dysfunction

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πŸ‘€︎ u/portleycrue12
πŸ“…︎ Nov 04 2020
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Mfw I cant think of a title :0
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πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2020
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I cant see why I am posting this, no one else will see this post
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DawnofX
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2020
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Cant weigh to see their face
πŸ‘︎ 7k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/prabeshdai13
πŸ“…︎ Apr 21 2020
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Why cant bri'ish people pronounce t?

Because they drank it

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Eboy_Elmo
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2020
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What do you call a monkey that cant get into his house?

A mon

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RayInRed
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
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if Juan cant, i dont know who Pablo-bly can
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Banoooooooo
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2020
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Ive checked and checked and i just cant work out why my calculator has stopped working!!!

It just doesn’t add up.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Strange_An0maly
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2020
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What do u call a melon that cant marry?

Cant-elope

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πŸ‘€︎ u/13harry09
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2020
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You cant download the film 'The Cold'

But, its streaming.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2020
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Patient in hospital bed shouts to the doctor. Doctor Doctor I cant feel my legs!

I know that the doctor said; We have amputated your arms....

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tiger7971
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2020
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I cant take My dog to the pond anymore cuz the geese keep attacking him.

I guess thats whats I deserve for having a Pure bread dog

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tgm810
πŸ“…︎ Feb 15 2020
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What cant you find at Whole Foods?

Doughnuts.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Phenicutie
πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2020
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When my daughter is nauseous, I sing to help relax her...

Apparently she's not a big fan of 'Let It Go'

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πŸ‘€︎ u/foxesarezuper
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2020
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You cant see him
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πŸ‘€︎ u/catchingfire3HG
πŸ“…︎ May 27 2020
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You know why you cant fart in an Apple store ?

Because they dont have windows.

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πŸ“…︎ Jun 27 2020
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Why cant the bicycle stand on one leg

Because it's two tired

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πŸ‘€︎ u/the-dark-stallion
πŸ“…︎ Aug 08 2020
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Why cant you trust an atom?

Because they make up everything.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Skrrrooch
πŸ“…︎ May 29 2020
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why cant you have a 12 inch nose?

Because it would be a foot then.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/potatogamer555
πŸ“…︎ Aug 20 2020
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My neighbour was a selling a speaker system for just $1. When I asked him why it was so cheap he told me that you cant adjust the sound, the volume is stuck at the loudest setting.

I said "Wow, I cant turn that down"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/KingSulley
πŸ“…︎ Aug 02 2020
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He cant even tell his son.
πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AMswag123
πŸ“…︎ Sep 15 2019
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Apparently you cant use "beefstew" as a password

I must not be strogonough

(strong enough)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/glitchomojo
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06 2020
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I wanted to date my math teacher....

I wanted to date my math teacher to have a chance of looking at her tan lines. But I cant, cos its was a sin.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/David-EN-
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07 2021
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Why do astronauts use Linux?

Because they cant open windows in space.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/marinho32
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2021
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Why cant a T-rex clap with his hands?

Coz they're extinct.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/__teju
πŸ“…︎ May 01 2020
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What is the least supportive fruit?

Cant-aloupe

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πŸ‘€︎ u/aguynamedbry
πŸ“…︎ Feb 06 2021
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I cant handle how sharp this is.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Arbitrary_Bastion
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2019
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I cant believe that locksmiths aren't working in some places

They are key workers after all

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πŸ‘€︎ u/EarthPhl
πŸ“…︎ May 17 2020
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Dogs cant operate MRI machines

But catscan

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jaaacclk
πŸ“…︎ May 10 2020
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You gotta hand it to short people.

Because they cant reach it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MrPennylicker
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2020
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You cant hear psychopaths urinating

Bcos the P is silent

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πŸ‘€︎ u/broshaine
πŸ“…︎ May 02 2020
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I went to the doctors the other day because I cant stop showing off.

They prescribed me some anti gloating cream. I cant wait to rub it in.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sleeves14
πŸ“…︎ Mar 10 2020
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My dad just cant articulate dad jokes

I hope his speech therapy works

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πŸ‘€︎ u/crazyjarvis
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26 2020
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Why cant orphans play baseball?

They dont know where home is

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BonyPoi3
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2020
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John Cena: *wakes up in hospital* Where am I? Doctor:ICU John Cena: No you cant
πŸ‘︎ 5k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/meltedpickless
πŸ“…︎ Jul 20 2018
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You cant run in a campground

You can only ran, because its past tents.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BigDaddyRobG
πŸ“…︎ Feb 25 2020
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Alcohol is gay cuz when u are drunk you cant think straight
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KonKast
πŸ“…︎ Oct 06 2019
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Star wars celebrity names

Apologies if this breaks the rules however. My friends and I are making up names of star wars characters combined with celebrity names. So far we've come up with Darth spader, sith rogan, and obi wan kobe.

Any others we cant think of?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ogzombiela
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2020
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cant believe they fired me from the clock factory... with all those extra hours I put in...
πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dothepropellor
πŸ“…︎ Dec 21 2017
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A bloke wakes up in hospital after an operation and shouts "Doctor I cant feel my legs"

The doctor said i know we chopped your arms off.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tiger7971
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2020
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Why cant you trust an atom?

Because they make up literally everything.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/StevetheEevve
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2019
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What do you call a monkey that cant get into his house?

A mon.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Xene_s
πŸ“…︎ Jan 31 2020
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