What does a presidential candidate who cant get his votes up suffer from?

Electile dysfunction

πŸ‘︎ 10k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/portleycrue12
πŸ“…︎ Nov 04 2020
🚨︎ report
Mfw I cant think of a title :0
πŸ‘︎ 321
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2020
🚨︎ report
Help I cant’ get inside my house, I lost my keys
πŸ‘︎ 41
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/hcgraham1213
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2020
🚨︎ report
I cant see why I am posting this, no one else will see this post
πŸ‘︎ 204
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DawnofX
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2020
🚨︎ report
Why cant bri'ish people pronounce t?

Because they drank it

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Eboy_Elmo
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a monkey that cant get into his house?

A mon

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RayInRed
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
🚨︎ report
if Juan cant, i dont know who Pablo-bly can
πŸ‘︎ 35
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Banoooooooo
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2020
🚨︎ report
Cant weigh to see their face
πŸ‘︎ 7k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/prabeshdai13
πŸ“…︎ Apr 21 2020
🚨︎ report
Ive checked and checked and i just cant work out why my calculator has stopped working!!!

It just doesn’t add up.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Strange_An0maly
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2020
🚨︎ report
You cant download the film 'The Cold'

But, its streaming.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2020
🚨︎ report
What do u call a melon that cant marry?

Cant-elope

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/13harry09
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2020
🚨︎ report
Patient in hospital bed shouts to the doctor. Doctor Doctor I cant feel my legs!

I know that the doctor said; We have amputated your arms....

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/tiger7971
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2020
🚨︎ report
When my daughter is nauseous, I sing to help relax her...

Apparently she's not a big fan of 'Let It Go'

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/foxesarezuper
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2020
🚨︎ report
What cant you find at Whole Foods?

Doughnuts.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Phenicutie
πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2020
🚨︎ report
I cant take My dog to the pond anymore cuz the geese keep attacking him.

I guess thats whats I deserve for having a Pure bread dog

πŸ‘︎ 2k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/tgm810
πŸ“…︎ Feb 15 2020
🚨︎ report
Why cant the bicycle stand on one leg

Because it's two tired

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/the-dark-stallion
πŸ“…︎ Aug 08 2020
🚨︎ report
why cant you have a 12 inch nose?

Because it would be a foot then.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/potatogamer555
πŸ“…︎ Aug 20 2020
🚨︎ report
You cant see him
πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/catchingfire3HG
πŸ“…︎ May 27 2020
🚨︎ report
You know why you cant fart in an Apple store ?

Because they dont have windows.

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jun 27 2020
🚨︎ report
Why cant you trust an atom?

Because they make up everything.

πŸ‘︎ 39
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Skrrrooch
πŸ“…︎ May 29 2020
🚨︎ report
My neighbour was a selling a speaker system for just $1. When I asked him why it was so cheap he told me that you cant adjust the sound, the volume is stuck at the loudest setting.

I said "Wow, I cant turn that down"

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/KingSulley
πŸ“…︎ Aug 02 2020
🚨︎ report
You gotta hand it to short people.

Because they cant reach it.

πŸ‘︎ 252
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MrPennylicker
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2020
🚨︎ report
Apparently you cant use "beefstew" as a password

I must not be strogonough

(strong enough)

πŸ‘︎ 222
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/glitchomojo
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06 2020
🚨︎ report
He cant even tell his son.
πŸ‘︎ 2k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/AMswag123
πŸ“…︎ Sep 15 2019
🚨︎ report
Why cant a T-rex clap with his hands?

Coz they're extinct.

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/__teju
πŸ“…︎ May 01 2020
🚨︎ report
I cant believe that locksmiths aren't working in some places

They are key workers after all

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/EarthPhl
πŸ“…︎ May 17 2020
🚨︎ report
I cant handle how sharp this is.
πŸ‘︎ 137
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Arbitrary_Bastion
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2019
🚨︎ report
Dogs cant operate MRI machines

But catscan

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jaaacclk
πŸ“…︎ May 10 2020
🚨︎ report
Star wars celebrity names

Apologies if this breaks the rules however. My friends and I are making up names of star wars characters combined with celebrity names. So far we've come up with Darth spader, sith rogan, and obi wan kobe.

Any others we cant think of?

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ogzombiela
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2020
🚨︎ report
I told my dad I could run faster than his car he replied how? I said

A car cant run it drives

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/hissingsounds
πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2020
🚨︎ report
You cant hear psychopaths urinating

Bcos the P is silent

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/broshaine
πŸ“…︎ May 02 2020
🚨︎ report
My dad just cant articulate dad jokes

I hope his speech therapy works

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/crazyjarvis
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26 2020
🚨︎ report
I went to the doctors the other day because I cant stop showing off.

They prescribed me some anti gloating cream. I cant wait to rub it in.

πŸ‘︎ 54
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Sleeves14
πŸ“…︎ Mar 10 2020
🚨︎ report
Why cant orphans play baseball?

They dont know where home is

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BonyPoi3
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2020
🚨︎ report
Why do some developers need glasses?

Because they cant C#.

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/maplesyruptrees
πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2020
🚨︎ report
Think about all the things that you forgot...

wait... you cant

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Bonecrusher9874
πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2020
🚨︎ report
You cant run in a campground

You can only ran, because its past tents.

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BigDaddyRobG
πŸ“…︎ Feb 25 2020
🚨︎ report
John Cena: *wakes up in hospital* Where am I? Doctor:ICU John Cena: No you cant
πŸ‘︎ 5k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/meltedpickless
πŸ“…︎ Jul 20 2018
🚨︎ report
I told my friend a joke and he fell on the floor from laughter

I guess some people cant stand jokes

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/OshriM
πŸ“…︎ Dec 03 2020
🚨︎ report
What did John say to Marry?

You've been the best part of my life and I cant imagine my life with you. Will you marry me?

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/okmango69
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2020
🚨︎ report
What condiment needs to go to the restroom the most?

Must-turd

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kblom
πŸ“…︎ Jul 10 2020
🚨︎ report
Alcohol is gay cuz when u are drunk you cant think straight
πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/KonKast
πŸ“…︎ Oct 06 2019
🚨︎ report
A bloke wakes up in hospital after an operation and shouts "Doctor I cant feel my legs"

The doctor said i know we chopped your arms off.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/tiger7971
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2020
🚨︎ report
Why cant you trust an atom?

Because they make up literally everything.

πŸ‘︎ 39
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/StevetheEevve
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2019
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.