Avoid marathons where Julius or Little participate. It's dangerous to run with Caesars.
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︎ May 14 2021
I ordered a Caesar salad from the restaurant for lunch today.
They absolutely killed it.
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︎ Mar 15 2021
Fun fact: Julius Caesar never told his men "Good job".
This is likely because he couldn't speak English.
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︎ May 19 2021
I was angry when Julius Caesar was killed
I was absolutely 50 1 5 1 500
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︎ Mar 18 2021
Do u know how the roman empire was cut in half?-------How?-------With a pair of Caesars!!!!
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︎ Sep 27 2020
Brutus: Dude how many Caesar's salads did you eat?
Julius: <Burps> Ate 2 Brute
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︎ Mar 15 2021
Today is the Ides of March, when Caesar was famously assassinated. But what most people don't know is that he wasn't stabbed, but poisoned, by Hemlock leaves in his salad - hence the name "Caesar's Salad." When Brutus asked how many Hemlock leaves Caesar ingested, Caesar said:
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︎ Mar 15 2021
What did Julius Caesar say when he went to Starbucks?
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︎ Feb 26 2021
A sperm donor, Carpenter, and Julius Caesar walked into a bar
... He came, he saw, he conquered
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︎ Oct 28 2020
Why did the nudist not like the caesar salad?
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︎ Jan 07 2021
Did you see that post about Caesar's salad?
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︎ Nov 16 2020
Itβs a little known fact that Gaius Julius Caesar suffered from epileptic fits.
Also known as a Julius Seizure.
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︎ Nov 28 2020
Julius Caesar was coming out of McDonald's. Brutus asked him if he liked the burger.
Caesar nodded in the affirmative and then added "ate two, Brutus."
(My dad actually texted me this joke this morning. Iβm 31 years old.)
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︎ Aug 31 2020
How do you make a Caesar salad?
You take a regular salad and stab it 27 times
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︎ Sep 05 2020
Julius Caesar walks into a bar. He holds up two fingers
And says "Give me five beers".
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︎ Sep 13 2020
What do you get when you cross Trump and Caesar?
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︎ Jun 13 2020
Restaurant messed up and gave me a garden salad instead of a Caesar salad. When I complained my little girl said,
βDad, any salad can be a Caesar salad. You just have to stab it enough timesβ.
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︎ Jul 07 2020
Why did Julius Caesar go to the dermatologist?
Because he had so many lesions.
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︎ Aug 12 2020
Couch for sale. Fit for a caesar.
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︎ Oct 22 2019
Caesar Salad
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︎ Apr 12 2020
Chicken Caesar!
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︎ Oct 31 2019
In honour of Julius Caesar I was tasked to design a new statue of him
So I came, I sawed, I coloured
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︎ Oct 23 2019
When your friend Caesar tells you a good joke
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︎ Oct 23 2019
Did you know Caesar had a ranch on the thousand islands in north America?
I don't know why he called it a ranch they only grew lettuce.
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︎ Feb 05 2020
Why didn't Cleopatra confess that she loved Julius Caesar?
Because she lived in the Nile
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︎ Jan 28 2020
A bowl of knives is a caesar salad
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︎ Aug 24 2019
Julius Caesar was stabbed several times by his own congress
Making him, contrary to popular belief, the first holey Roman emperor
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︎ Nov 16 2018
Did you know the first weather report was delivered to Julius Caesar?
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︎ Sep 01 2019
I can't believe Julius Caesar invaded France
Like honestly, he had the Gaul to do that? Wow
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︎ Jul 11 2019
Julius Caesar ordered pizza for the senate at the Theatre of Pompey
Casca: How could you not order enough pizza for everyone?
Julius: But there was enough for everybody to have a slice...
Brutus: I ate 2 slices.
Julius: ATE TWO, BRUTE?
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︎ Mar 16 2019
Caesar's seizures
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︎ Feb 06 2019
What did the Caesar say to the Senate?
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︎ Mar 13 2019
There was a Cajun Chef named Julius Caesar
who said to his Sous Chef, βEtouffΓ©e Brute?β
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︎ Jun 27 2019
How did Julius Caesar like his water?
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︎ Nov 07 2019
What did Little Caesar say right before he was punched?
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︎ May 02 2019
The Romaine Empire has Fallen... Caesar is dead...
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︎ Nov 24 2018
Julius Caesar walks into a bar...
He says, βIβll have a martinus.β
Bartender asks βYou mean martini?β
Julius Caesar replies βIf I wanted more than one, I would have asked for it.β
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︎ Sep 05 2018
We were eating caesar salad, then i stabbed it.
βNow its a real βCaesarβ saladβ
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︎ Jul 28 2020
A sperm donor, a lumberjack, and Julius Caesar walk into a bar.
He came, he saw, he conquered.
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︎ Jun 14 2020
A sperm donor, a Carpenter and Julius Caesar walk into a bar
He came, He saw and He conquered
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︎ May 26 2019
What did Julius Caesar say after he conquered a brothel?
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︎ Oct 01 2017
A sperm donor, a carpenter, and Julius Caesar walk into a bar.
He came, he saw, he conquered.
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︎ Jul 24 2019
A sperm donor, a carpenter, and Julius Caesar walk into a bar.
He came, he saw, he conquered.
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︎ Oct 05 2018
Any salad is a Caesar salad if you stab it enough times
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︎ Mar 15 2018
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