How much did the squirrel pay for the car?

Peanuts.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AuticaGinger
πŸ“…︎ Apr 01 2021
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I was once told that old married women have a bushy appendage attached to their lower back

But apparently it was just an old wives tale

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Luscious_Glory
πŸ“…︎ Apr 07 2020
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Help me making a pun names based around a samurai plant

this is for something important I just need a name for a plant who's also a samurai. Any pun name will be appreciated

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tarasque_Man
πŸ“…︎ Aug 09 2020
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A communist walks into a bar

He orders nothing, and instead just sits down at the bar and begins reading a newspaper.

β€œWhat’ll it be?” Asked the bartender.

β€œNothing.” Replied the communist, his face concealed behind the newspaper.

β€œYou don’t want anything?” Said the bartender.

β€œNo!” Replied the communist.

β€œLook,” said the bartender β€œyou can’t just sit at the bar and read without ordering anything. I’m going to have to ask you to leave.”

β€œDo you know who I am?” Asked the communist, as he slowly lowered the newspaper, revealing combed back black and grey hair, a large, bushy mustache, and a neatly kept Officer uniform with two gold stars pinned to the left breast.

The bartender stepped back, shocked. β€œWell now you’re just Stalin!”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jhabibs
πŸ“…︎ Jun 09 2018
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I went up a mountain to speak to a mystic.

I asked him, "Can you tell me what it's all about, existence and all that?" His eyes looked up at me, from underneath his bushy brows. Solemnly he said, "That is is a tricky question, but you should go work in an aquarium. "I was confused. "An aquarium, why is that?" "Because then you will have porpoise in life."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Peteman22
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2018
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While driving home with my mum.

I saw a dead animal at the side of the road but I couldn't tell quite what it was because it looked like a brown bushy dog. So, I asked my mum "what was that" and she told me that it was a badger.

After that she then told me "I was gonna say it's dead". Should've really followed through with the joke.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tkeign
πŸ“…︎ Mar 27 2017
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