Recently i(24M) have discovered that my mindset is very conservative and i'm kind of a judgemental guy without even knowing it. How can i fix this? I wanna see and appreciate others decisions even if I dont agree with them. This is causing real troubles in my relationship, i want to mend my ways and keep her happy. Please suggest me books that can help
Deciding what is exactly right for you before you ever really experience it can lead to problems.
First of all, it leads people to value only the initial achievement, not learning from or experiencing what it actually is, which may be years or even decades of your life. If it's only about getting the "yes," it can be hard to feel satisfied in life and one may always be looking for the next thing - the "dream wedding," the "dream house," the "dream family."
Secondly, it can set you up for a bad kind of failure. Things rarely measure up to the ideal you set for it, but if you have put too much emotional energy into achieving it, you might not allow yourself an exit strategy. This is how people end up in "golden handcuff" situations, where they are unhappy but feel like they have put too much in, or the situation looks too good to everyone else, to leave.
Lastly, thinking this way can keep you from even really evaluating whether the situation is good or not in the first place. You can be so invested in just the idea of something or someone, that you don't want to consider the reality and just carry on telling yourself the same story that you are living your dream when you aren't really living at all except in a fantasy.
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