What’s the favorite sandwich bread of African Jews?

T’Challah bread.

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Mr_Miaow
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 16 2021
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You know I always wanted to open my own sandwich shop. I would have all the meat and bread money could buy...

Problem was I was afraid something would go a rye

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/B-Man54
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 23 2021
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What do you call a sandwich with one slice of whole wheat bread and one slice of white bread?

⬆️

πŸ‘οΈŽ 40
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/petrikm
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 14 2019
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A friend of mine wanted to make a reuben sandwich but he couldn't find the right bread...

You could say his plans went a-rye.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 18
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/mleart
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 11 2018
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My favourite kind of sandwich bread
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/derpulia
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 07 2015
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LPT: If you don't want to buy sandwiches to your co-workers, just buy them with mistakes: Other kind of bread, other size...

Sorry, wrong sub

πŸ‘οΈŽ 23
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Potato23860
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 16 2020
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Sandwiches should be called bunk breads.
πŸ‘οΈŽ 20
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/emmiewinks
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 16 2014
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Possibly the Greatest Dad Joke Since Sliced Bread.

I’m really proud of this one. https://imgur.com/gallery/DZk9syR

πŸ‘οΈŽ 191
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Morningxafter
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 02 2021
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So I said to the woman at the deli "I'd like to buy a ham and cheese baguette with pickles"

She said "Sorry, we only take cash or card."

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/sewerfr0g
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 11 2021
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A ham sandwich walks into a bar and orders a beer

The bartender says we don't serve food here

πŸ‘οΈŽ 13k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/VVIIVVI
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 08 2020
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Told the wife we were having Jamaican for lunch.

She looked confused when I presented her with a Red Stripe between two slices of bread.

"What the fuck is this?" she asked.

"Beer can sandwich"

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/FireBassist
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 12 2022
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I was looking for something to eat the other day & I found this Kentucky brand jelly my wife bought.

I tell you it don't matter, even if you put peanut butter on the bread too, you just can't make a decent sandwich with it. Got no taste.

I told her, "Woman, don't buy that KY jelly anymore!"

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/lodiman77
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 10 2022
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KID: "Dad, make me a sandwich!"

DAD: "Poof, you’re a sandwich!”

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Sleeteater
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 30 2019
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I caught my dad breaking his diet.

He was eating a sandwich. I said "you're not allowed gluten, what's that?" He replied "it's b-r-e-a-d" I said "what, bread?"

He said "no, b-r-e-a-d. It's spelt bread"

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ExtraSure
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 30 2021
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My son told me he was hungry (not a "Hi Hungry I'm dad." joke)

Me: "You want me to make you a sandwich?"

Son: "Ummm ... sure."

Me: grabs two slices of bread and puts his hand in between them "There, you're a hand sandwich."

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/rtwpsom2
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 25 2020
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I got one-upped by my 6 y.o. son

My son made himself a banana sandwich.

Son: "This is what monkeys eat."

I thought I'd mess with him a bit on this "fact", and throw some dad humour at him.

Me: "What?! Monkeys don't eat sandwiches! How do they even bake the bread?"

Son: "With a g'rilla."

I think this kid is going places. I was completely outdone.

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ign1fy
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 08 2014
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If a movie company filmed a sandwich.

If a movie company was filming a sandwich but instead of using bread they used a tortilla. Would they call it a wrap and not get any filming done at all?

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/iambetteroffonmyown
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 28 2020
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Pearl Harbor of puns

If your onion sang hip-hop, would that be a rapscallion?

I used to be an astronaut, but I got tired of eating out of satellite dishes. I wasn't allowed to eat the Milky Way, even though I had to look at it every day. The worst thing was, I never got to visit The Space Bar. Then, when I was visiting the dark side of the moon, I was bitten by a parasite. Now, you might think it's crazy, but the doctor who removed it called it a lunar-tick.

If "womb" is pronounced "woom" and "tomb" is pronounced "toom", shouldn't "bomb" be pronounced "boom"?

China recently tested a new steroid. It basically turns you into The Hulk. The side effect is it could turn you into a crazed zombie that tends to rip the upper extremities from people. People are saying that this could be the zombie apocalypse. In my opinion, lips have nothing to do with it. I call it ARMageddon. The only way to stay safe now is to not let anyone close enough to disarm you.

I recently was going to join the railroad union. I decided against it because it's complicated. If I received instruction on driving the locomotive, would they call it engineering, or training?

I got a sad story about a flower. I don't know who the heck she pissed off, but damn, now she's a Black-Eyed Susan.

I finally figured out what makes leaves angry. Fall. They get so mad they change color. Some are yellow. They're just afraid and run from their problems. The other ones usually just leave.

I went parachuting with my military buddies once. We landed on a department store. I told him I think we're at the wrong coordinates. He said: "Nope. We're right on Target"

I asked a psychologist if Native Americans have strong emotions. He said "Oh yeah, they're intense".

If a psychotic person thought something made sense, would that thought be psychological?

If Matt Damon were searching for a secondhand store, would he be Goodwill Hunting?

My friend is a Marksman for the military. One day, he went to the armory and asked for 3 snipers. They gave him a candy bar. It was a 3 Musketeers.

I want to be there if Dwayne Johnson ever uses a pizza stone. That way I can smell what "The Rock" is cookin'.

Christopher bought a lemon, and the car broke down. Now Christopher Walken.

Have you heard about the latest bank battle on Wall Street? Capital One and Chase got in a fight and Capital One.

You know what a pirate says to his wenches when he sees the shoreline? "LAND HO!"

A man finds a lamp in the desert and dusts it off. Poof! A genie p

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/PraetorSolaris
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 26 2019
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The ends...

Wife (making sandwiches and referring to the end slices of bread): β€œDo you want the ends?”

Me: as long as they justify the means.”

Wife: (groans)

πŸ‘οΈŽ 17
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/dhelling1
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 02 2018
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I've never felt so proud of myself.

So my mom bought a bag of ciabatta bread for sandwiches. She told my uncle and said he can have some. He asked if there was enough and I shouted "Yeah, Ciabatta whole bag!"

πŸ‘οΈŽ 127
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/jdCHALLENGER
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 05 2015
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Cannibalism?

-this morning-

Me: Can you make me a sandwich? Dad: I don't think they make bread big enough

Classic Dad.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 55
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/jeanibeani
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 08 2018
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Can't we have breaded pork chops?

Mom: No Dad: yes you can, just sandwich it on two breads

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/G-Nozomi64
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 27 2019
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The Fresh Prince had a great dad joke...

Will: Make me a sandwich

Jeffrey puts a slice of bread on Will's head

Jeffrey: There, you're a sandwich.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 51
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/clownonanerd
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 25 2014
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Can you make me a sandwich?

Dad is in kitchen with bread and peanut butter, about to make himself a sandwich.
Me: Dad! Can you make me a sandwich? Dad: folds arms together and bows Dad: you are a sandwich

Every time I ask him to make food for me....

πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Hoglolly
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 10 2013
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Recognized I had a dad joke during lunch today

Wife was making some Greek sandwiches for lunch today and the pita bread wasn't cooperating.

Wife: "This pita bread is terrible."

Me: "Yup, it's awfully pita-ful."

Wife sighs.

Me: "What? That was awesome!"

πŸ‘οΈŽ 12
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Rockleezombie
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 12 2015
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The story goes that on my parent's first date my dad told a doozy. My mom says she still can't believe she went out with him again

Waitress at luncheonette: what can I get you? Dad: I'll have a soup sandwich on waterproof bread.

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/BackOnTheMap
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 31 2015
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Dad on sandwiches

my dad said: "my mom used to pack me a jam sandwich for lunch at school, she would take two pieces of bread and jam them together!"

πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/monkeyboi14
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 11 2013
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My dad said stuff like this in front of me and my friends all the time..

"Hey Coltron57, I stood up for you the other day." "You did? What happened?" "Someone said you ate shit sandwiches, I told them you couldn't have, you don't like bread".

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/coltron57
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 15 2013
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Dadjoked my dad today, with bread!

So me and my dad were in the kitchen, he was making a sandwich since he is going on all day tomorrow on his motorbike. And as he is buttering the bread seems to just fall apart, due to its bad quality. I say "Is that whole bread?". He is still groaning now.

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/spartaboy
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 14 2014
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Got dadjoked at the local sandwich joint

So a couple guys and I went out to the local sandwich shop the other day, and when I get my sandwich there's some small but noticeable mold on the bread. I go back in to let them know about it and they make me another sandwich. I've got two sandwiches now and figure a bit of mold won't kill me. But it's a lot of food so I give half to my friend.

Then I say, "Hey, I just ate half my sandwich, and I've still got a whole one."

So my friend replies, "Well, I guess you can half your sandwich and eat it, too!"

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/chucatawa
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 29 2014
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So Publix has started selling coleslaw sandwiches...

I guess this is a thing now, Coleslaw sandwiches. They've even got a special bread for it. I was intrigued, so I made a special trip to pick one up.

I bought the slaw and the slaw bun
I bought the slaw and the slaw bun.

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Schnozzle
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 10 2015
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I pulled a dadjoke twofer during my shift today.

First off the guy calling bread back for sandwiches yelled "I have two kids and I needed a King's Roll!"

So I yelled back "I can get you a King's, but what do your children have to do with anything?" Chuckles and groans all around.

Then when I was on register:

"What can I get for you today?"

"I just need a second."

"Sorry, we're fresh out."

She just stared at me, but my coworkers laughed.

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/alwaystakeabanana
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 01 2014
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A mom joke from my childhood

I'm too young to remember this one but it's one of my sisters favorite childhood memories. She's asked that I share it with you.

My mom was in the kitchen one afternoon making lunch for the family. She asked my dad what he wanted to eat and he replied "a light sandwich"

My mom then proceeded to put a small light bulb in his sandwich (small enough to not be super noticeable.

My sister, probably about 5 years old, was in a fit of giggles as she had noticed this. He took off the top slice of bread and saw the light bulb and just stared at my mom.

"Well...you did say you wanted a light sandwich"

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/mandino788
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 13 2014
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In line at the sandwich counter...

So I was in line at my college's sandwich shop. The man behind me was one of the workers in the school's small post office, and also happens to be my friend's dad. He laid down a pretty good dad joke.

Sandwich lady: Next? What kind of bread can I get for you? Me: Hi, thank you, I'll have a white wrap. Him: Oh, I'll give you a white rap, "Yo, yo, yo, beatbox noises"

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/naptime03
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 10 2013
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Got my son today.

I asked him what he wanted for lunch. He said : Make me a sandwich!

I put one silice of bread on either side of his head.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 38
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/DivinePrinterGod
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 20 2016
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He was so proud once he told me this.

Dad: someone told me that you liked shit sandwiches Me: what the heck? Dad:yeah but don't worry, I stood up for you. I said you didn't like bread.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/AnimewrestlerXD
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 24 2014
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