What do you call a wizard who can make toasted sandwiches?

Breville Longbottom

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πŸ‘€︎ u/knanshon
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2020
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We were at Subway and the sandwich artist asked my dad if he wanted his Turkey Club toasted.

"Yeah, I'm quitting cold turkey."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Aregular89
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2014
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A woman asks her husband in the morning regarding breakfast.......

"Would you like some bacon and eggs, a slice of toast, and maybe some grapefruit juice and coffee?"

He declines. "Thanks for asking, but I'm not hungry right now. It must be the Viagra," he says. "It's really taken the edge off my appetite.

At lunchtime, she asks him if he'd like something. "How about a bowl of soup, homemade muffins, or a cheese sandwich?"

He declines. "The Viagra," he says, "really trashes my desire for food.

Come dinner time, she asks if he wants anything to eat. "Would you like a juicy rib eye steak and some scrumptious apple pie? Or maybe a rotisserie chicken or tasty stir fry?"

He declines again. "No," he says, "it's got to be the Viagra. I'm still not hungry."

"Well," she says: ""Can you now stop and get off me? I'm bloody starving!!".

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ball5deeper
πŸ“…︎ Jul 18 2020
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My dad told me this joke earlier today

A detective was called to a man's house to investigate a death. The man took the detective to his backyard and there was a dead rabbit lying there with a half eaten egg toasted sandwich and a half eaten cheese toasted sandwich. The detective quickly observed this and said to the man. "It seems to be a case of Myxomatoasties.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Nich_05
πŸ“…︎ Mar 04 2019
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Wife got me over text messages

Wife: Would you like a toasted gouda and ham sandwich for lunch?

Me: No thanks, not hungry yet.

Wife: OK, so you're gouda for now then.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/reyomnwahs
πŸ“…︎ Aug 12 2016
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Not a dad, but I think I am prepared... Well everyone in line thought so anyway.

This starts and ends at the local coffee shop I go to on the way to work. My cashier takes my order; sausage, egg & cheese with salt, pepper, ketchup and hot sauce, on toasted rye. She taps away for a moment on the iPad POS then looks up and says "and a name for the sandwich?" to which I quickly raise my chest and proclaim "Breakfast!". To this all 6 people in the shop, including the cashier started chuckling.

[drop mic]

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πŸ‘€︎ u/fractalphony
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2015
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