Somebody get the Captain! There’s been a hull breach! We’re going down!

Oh sorry, wrong sub

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Roku-Hanmar
πŸ“…︎ Sep 08 2020
🚨︎ report
The Ontario Cannabis Store reported a data breach affecting 4,500 customers

They say the police are trying to weed out the culprit.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Banksy0726
πŸ“…︎ Nov 08 2018
🚨︎ report
Burglars have found a way to breach the White House without getting caught.

It was a breakthrough for them.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ToonyCream
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2018
🚨︎ report
Dad Joke on /r/news: Russia says Canada weed legalization is a breach of international responsibility
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SergePower
πŸ“…︎ Jun 27 2018
🚨︎ report
Redacted
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πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a security breach involving a USB stick? twitter.com/SwiftOnSecuri…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Theoriginalwookie
πŸ“…︎ Jun 22 2015
🚨︎ report
The man who saved Reddit

In the not too distant future, web censorship is pervasive; speech and freedom are strangers to one another; while pirates sail the seas with impunity, digital pirates are incarcerated by the busload.

Anyone who speaks out against this ban on open-dialogue or the free-sharing-of-ideas is ground down and hidden away, and the resistance is loosing its will.

A small group of contributors to reddit, huddled together in a bunker beneath barely-waving flags of Snoo, worked tirelessly to repost new ideas from around the internet, to release ideas from their chains, and make speech free ... again!

But it was not to be - a gang of the governments anti-piracy enforcers descended on this, the last bastion of humankind's will to share-freely. Arriving in an armored bus, ten shock-troopers breached the bunker and it looked like the day was lost.

Fortunately for us all, one brave redditor led the collective out a back entrance and they circled to the driveway. This leader told the other redditors to wait in the bushes while he overpowered the one soldier left guarding the transport. There was a flash of movement, a crack from a fallen branch as it struck the guard, and then, stolen keys in hand, the hero revved the engine and told the redditors to pile in.

He had to will himself ignore the gas gauge as he floored the accelerator on the 25,000 pound ticket to freedom - there was only survival or defeat, and nothing in between. Sirens came alive behind him as he rushed for the border to the promised land, to the Free-North.

As the engine begins to cough, the titanic weight of the transport cleaves the barricades asunder and the pursuing vehichles have to hard-brake to avoid skidding beyond their corrupt jurisdiction. Both exhausted and elated, the redditors follow their hero to the freedom promised by their new surroundings ... but their peril is not yet passed.

Though most of the pirate-hunters glower from the south-side of the border, one special agent has crossed over and is speaking with the border guards. The tension is thick. A long-faced guard turns to the newcomers, clearly troubled by what he must do.

"Folks," he says, a pained look on his kindly face, "I'm sorry, to do this, don't cha' know, but I got no choice, eh!"

Confused, the redditors look to one another, and tremble as they notice the agent's smug expression, greedy eyes fixed on the leader of the exodus.

"Look here, now, you are all welcome here, of course, and since speech is free here, we are

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ“…︎ Mar 23 2018
🚨︎ report
King Henry V's greatest military achievement was capturing Harfleur with a single marshmallow

One s'more unto the breach, dear friends, one s'more

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheAnagramancer
πŸ“…︎ Aug 20 2018
🚨︎ report
I had to fire someone for wearing too much aftershave at work.

It was a fragrant breach of the regulations.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Matti_Matti_Matti
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2013
🚨︎ report
The National Institute of Father's database was hacked into last night and all their jokes were stolen...

...it was the worst dada breach in its history.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/KingJohnHenry
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2017
🚨︎ report
Whale of a Tail

I went whale watching today with my class and it was a great day. We saw tons of breaches by a young calf and over 20 humpbacks!

I called my dad when I get home and told him about this amazing trip...

Me: "We saw a whale breach 20 times!"

Dad: "Well you know what they say, life's a breach and then you dive."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/KattOBrien
πŸ“…︎ Oct 12 2014
🚨︎ report

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