Not to brag about my finances or anything, but…
My credit card company calls me almost everyday to tell me that my balance is outstanding!
My dad was bragging about his new hearing aid, saying it was the best ones on the market. I said, "what kind is it?"
I Don't Mean to Brag
But cashiers are always checking me out!
Not to brag, but I beat Magnus Carlsen in less than 10 moves without cheating and without Hans
My kick boxing lessons were finally useful
My friend was bragging that his 3D printer can print a gun but I wasn’t impressed
I had a Canon printer for years.
I couldn't help myself- before I knew what was happening, I found myself bragging about getting the new Nintendo console in 2006.
Not to brag, but I kept my new year’s resolution for 2020 by tackling the Rockies.
Next year, it is the Rambos.
People are tired of me bragging about my cousin all the time. I can't help it, he's outstanding in his field!
He's a scarecrow afterall.
What do you call an NFL fan from Michigan who brags about going to the Super Bowl last year?
I’m not sure the best sub to put this on but I just have to brag on myself. I just defeated the local chess champion in less than five moves!!!
Finally, my high school karate lessons paid off.
Not to brag but my bank just me a message…
They said, I’m outstanding!
Not to brag, but I have something in common with Elon Musk.
I have also decided to not buy Twitter.
Not to brag, but I went into a room and actually remembered why I went in there....
It was the bathroom, but still.....
I don't like to brag, but I own an island
I met some chess enthusiasts in a hotel lobby recently.They just kept bragging about how good they are at the game.
There's nothing worse than chess nuts boasting in an open foyer..
How does a scarecrow brag?
My friend was bragging about his strange looking freckles.
Not to brag, but we did a lot of experiments with drugs and alcohol when I was in high school.
Unfortunately I was part of the control group.
Not to brag,
but i have this incredible talent for predicting what's inside a wrapped present.
It's a gift
I’m not one to brag about going to expensive places …
But guess who’s just been to the petrol station!
Not to brag but I made six figures last year.
I was also named the worst employee at the toy factory.
Two chess player were in an open lobby, bragging to each other about their recent victories.
The manager comes over and says, "Could you both go to your rooms now?"
They ask, "Why?"
The manager replies, "Because I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
Oysters
Someone told me that I’m very good at opening oysters, and I replied “oh shucks!” ;-)
I don’t mean to brag, but I just put a puzzle together in 1 day...
and the box said 2-4 years!
I could have been caught stealing board games
But it was a Risk I had to take
I bragged to my wife about how I could park her car better than her
But I couldn’t back it up.
I don't mean to brag, but I have sychic powers.
For example, I know what all you are thinking right now. "It's spelt psychic, you idiot. "
Two farmers meet at their fence line.
They start arguing about who is the better farmer as they compare crops. They wave down a passerby and ask, "sir, who do you think is a better farmer?" They looks at them and says, "It's hard to say, you're both outstanding in your fields."
I hadn’t used my main in around a year but had a reason to burro back in my post history... I had forgotten about this, and I don’t mean to brag but this is the single greatest post I’ve ever made on reddit.
Not to brag, but I already have a date for Valentines Day.
My friend was bragging that his 3D printer can print a gun but I wasn’t impressed.
I had a Canon printer for years.
I don’t mean to brag when it comes to me and cashiers
But they’re always checking me out
My friend was bragging that his new 3D printer can print a gun.
Big deal. I have had a Canon printer for years.
I don't mean to brag but Cashiers...
are always checking me out.
I don't wanna brag about my finances or anything, but my credit card company calls me every day.
Just to tell me my balance is outstanding.
What do you call a crowd of chess players bragging about their wins in a hotel lobby?
Chess nuts boasting in an open foyer.
Not to brag, but I defeated our local chess champion in less than five moves.
Finally, my high school karate lessons paid off
Not to brag, but yesterday I beat our local chess champion in less than 5 moves.
Finally my high school Karate lessons came to some use.
I don't mean to brag...
but cashiers are always checking me out.
Not to brag, but I experimented a lot with drugs and sex when I was in college.
Unfortunately I was part of the control group.
What do you call a bunch of chess players bragging about their games in a hotel lobby?
Chess nuts boasting in an open foyer.
Not to brag but I made six figures last year.
I was also named worst employee at the toy factory.
Not to brag about my finances or anything, but…
My credit card company calls me almost everyday to tell me that my balance is outstanding!
I don’t mean to brag, but...
Cashiers are always checking me out.
I don't mean to brag..
but cashier's are always checking me out.
I was in the hotel lobby the other day when I heard 2 chess masters bragging about past wins.
They were chess nuts boasting in an open foyer
I don’t mean to brag but...
Cashiers are always checking me out
I don’t mean to brag...
but cashiers are always checking me out
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