Bola Tie Puns

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TUF China

Sky Dragons

Ning Guangyou: 2-2

Yao Zhikui: 1-3

Zhang Lipeng: 2-2

Albert Cheng: 0-1

Fu Changxin: N/A

He Jianwei: N/A

Wu Qize: N/A

Fu Ziyi: N/A

Li Jinying: N/A

Total: 7-8 (46.7% win rate)

Flying Lions

Yang Jianping: 0-1

Wang Sai: 1-1

Wang Anying: 1-1

Rocky Lee: 0-1

Dong Xin: N/A

Zhu Qingxiang: N/A

Allen Chong: N/A

Shih Liang: N/A

Yong Shun: N/A

Total: 2-4 (33.3% win rate)

Total Combined Record: 9-12 (42.9% win rate)

TUF The Smashes

Team UK

Norman Parke: 5-3-1

Colin Fletcher: 0-2

Brad Scott: 3-5

Mike Wilkinson: 2-2

Brendan Loughnane: 0-1

Luke Newman: N/A

Valentino Petrescu: N/A

Bola Omoyele: N/A

Michael Pastou: N/A

Total: 10-13-1 (41.7% win rate)

Team Australia

Robert Whittaker: 14-3 (Note: He accounts for 88% of his team's wins)

Benny Alloway: 1-2

Manny Rodriguez: 0-1

Grant Blackler: N/A

Patrick Iodice: N/A

Richie Vaculik: 1-3

Ben Wall: 0-2

Xavier Lucas: N/A

James Vainkolo: N/A

Total: 16-11 (59.3% win rate)

Total Combined Record: 26-24-1 (51% win rate)

TUF Nations Canada vs Australia

Team Canada

Chad Laprise: 6-4

Elias Theodoreau: 8-3

Olivier Aubin-Mercier: 7-5

Nordine Taleb: 7-5

Kajan Johnson: 4-3

Sheldon Westcott: 1-2

Matthew Derosches: N/A

Luke Harris: N/A

Total: 33-22 (60% win rate)

Team Australia

Jake Matthews: 10-5

Vic Grujic: 1-3

Richard Walsh: 2-4

Dan Kelly: 6-4

Brendan O'Reilly: 1-3

Chris Indich: 0-2

Zein Saliba: N/A

Tyler Manawaroa: N/A

Total: 20-21 (48.8% win rate)

Total Combined Record: 53-42 (55.8% win rate)

Rankings (by win percentage):

Percentages are rounded up to the nearest whole, or nearest tenth. In case of a tie, the nearest hundredth will be considered. In case of percentage tie, number of combined UFC fights for all the fighters in a season is considered.

1. Season 21: ATT vs Blackzillians (69.8%)
2. Brazil Season 2 (60%)
3. Season 1 (57.8%)
4. Season 7: Team Rampage vs Team Forrest (56%)
5. Season 27: Undefeated (55.9%)
6. TUF Nations: Canada vs Australia (55.8%)
7. Season 24: Tournament of Champions (55%)
8. Season 13: Team Lesnar vs Team Dos Santos (53.6%)
9. Season 14: Team Bisping vs Team Miller (52.8%)
10. Season 15: Live (52.5%)
11. Season 3 (52.4%)
12. Latin America Season 1 (52.1%)
13. Brazil Season 3 (51.6%)
14. Season 5 (51.5%)
15. TUF The Smashes (51%)
16. Brazil Season 1 (50.9%)
17. Season 17: Team Jones vs Team Sonnen (50.6%)
18. Season 16: Team Carwin vs Team Ne

I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.

Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.

Keľo?

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Alot of great jokes get posted here! However just because you have a joke, doesn't mean it's a dad joke.

THIS IS NOT ABOUT NSFW, THIS IS ABOUT LONG JOKES, BLONDE JOKES, SEXUAL JOKES, KNOCK KNOCK JOKES, POLITICAL JOKES, ETC BEING POSTED IN A DAD JOKE SUB

Try telling these sexual jokes that get posted here, to your kid and see how your spouse likes it.. if that goes well, Try telling one of your friends kid about your sex life being like Coca cola, first it was normal, than light and now zero , and see if the parents are OK with you telling their kid the "dad joke"

I'm not even referencing the NSFW, I'm saying Dad jokes are corny, and sometimes painful, not sexual

So check out r/jokes for all types of jokes

r/unclejokes for dirty jokes

r/3amjokes for real weird and alot of OC

r/cleandadjokes If your really sick of seeing not dad jokes in r/dadjokes

Punchline !

Edit: this is not a post about NSFW , This is about jokes, knock knock jokes, blonde jokes, political jokes etc being posted in a dad joke sub

Edit 2: don't touch the thermostat

#Respect Drew Lipsky, aka Dr. Drakken

##"You think you're all that, but you're not!"

Drew Theodore P. Lipsky is the arch-nemesis of teen hero Kim Possible. Going by the alias Dr. Drakken, he spends his time coming up with insane schemes to take over the world with the aid of his snarky sidekick Shego. Despite claiming to be an evil genius, he often relies on stealing the technology of others to accomplish his goals instead of inventing or even buying his own due to his incompetence or cheapness.

#Sources

Hover over a feat to view its source.

Television

• Kim Possible (2002) = S#E#
• So the Drama (2005) = StD
• Lilo & Stitch: The Series (2003) season 2 episode 20 = L&S

Video Games

• Disney's Kim Possible: Revenge of Monkey Fist (2002) = RoMF
• Disney's Kim Possible 2: Drakken's Demise (2004) = DD
• Disney's Kim Possible 3: Team Possible (2005) = TP
• Disney's Kim Possible: Kimmunicator (2005) = K

Comics

• Kim Possible Adventures (2019) = Comic

#Intelligence

Engineering

• Claims to have built a ray that allowed him to control rubber products in the 4th grade.
• Built prototypes of the Bebe robots during his college days.
• Builds a robotic tick using another scientist's designs.
• Replicates the Neural Compliance Chip.
• Launches an alien spaceship.
• Builds a sonic annihilator into order to brew the perfect chocolate milk.
• Capable of building an Arctic Weather Device, but struggles getting a VCR to work.
• Gets a bunch of soldiers off a train by bypassing the cooling system to overload the engine.

Planning & Strategy

• Plans a train heist.
• Devises a complicated plan to increase the mosquito population for some greater, undefined purpose.
• Orchestrates a plot even Shego couldn't figure out on her own.
• [Tricks two other villains into stealing Nana Possible's photo albu

Do your worst!

Ants don’t even have the concept fathers, let alone a good dad joke. Keep r/ants out of my r/dadjokes.

But no, seriously. I understand rule 7 is great to have intelligent discussion, but sometimes it feels like 1 in 10 posts here is someone getting upset about the jokes on this sub. Let the mods deal with it, they regulate the sub.

They were cooked in Greece.

I'm surprised it hasn't decade.

Don't you know a good pun is its own reword?

Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin looks at the other and says "is it just me, or is it hot in here?"

Then the other muffin says "AHH, TALKING MUFFIN!!!"

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂

It really does, I swear!

And now I’m cannelloni

Because she wanted to see the task manager.

But that’s comparing apples to oranges

And boy are my arms legs.

Heard they've been doing some shady business.

but then I remembered it was ground this morning.

Edit: Thank you guys for the awards, they're much nicer than the cardboard sleeve I've been using and reassures me that my jokes aren't stale

Edit 2: I have already been made aware that Men In Black 3 has told a version of this joke before. If the joke is not new to you, please enjoy any of the single origin puns in the comments

BamBOO!

They’re on standbi

A play on words.

My daughter, Chewbecca, not so much.

Pilot on me!!

Len pre pár dňami sa tu vo veľkom diskutovalo o tom, že Slovensko malo namiesto tlačenia na vakcináciu radšej zvýšiť množstvo dostupných ventilátorov. Po prečítaní tohto rozhovoru s primárkou v nemocnici v Spišskej Novej Vsi nie som presvedčený že by to bolo správne riešenie. Do teraz u nich na oddelení v prípade delty zahynulo 24/25 prípadov ktorí sa dostali na ventiláciu. Oproti tomu vakcinácia preukázateľne znižuje počet ľudí ktorí majú závažné ochorenie a výrazne zvšuje šancuje na prežitie.

https://dennikn.sk/2627335/tehotna-primarka-ked-mate-pacientov-rocnik-1990-a-1940-a-jeden-volny-stroj-selekcia-tam-je/?ref=list

>Koľko máte bežne príjmov za deň?
>
>Šesť až sedem ľudí prijmeme aj napriek tomu, že ich ambulantne monitorujeme, chodia na kontroly, liečbu a dostanú monoklonálne protilátky. To je dosť. Všetci pacienti u nás vyžadujú kyslíkovú podporu. Žiadne oddelenie si nedovolí „luxus“, že by prijalo pacienta, ktorý nevyžaduje kyslík. Problém je, že veľa pacientov prejde z inhalácie normálneho kyslíka do vysokoprietokového kyslíka a potom na umelú pľúcnu ventiláciu. Lôžka na ventiláciách musíme zháňať, máme koordinačné číslo, kam voláme a hľadáme nemocnice, kde by ešte mohlo byť miesto. Už ich je veľmi málo.
>
>Máte ventilácie úplne plné?
>
>Áno. Máme šesť lôžok s ventiláciou a päť je obsadených. Šieste sa drží ako transportné lôžko. Každá nemocnica by si mala držať jedno miesto voľné pre transport. Minule sme mladú pacientku, bola ročník 1971, intubovali a zrazu nebola schopná transportu. Záchranárske ventilátory nie sú také výkonné ako nemocničné. Prístroj by to neutiahol a transport by neprežila. Preto jedno lôžko musí byť rezervované pre takéhoto pacienta.
>
>V druhej vlne zomrel na ventilácii každý druhý pacient. Dnes niektoré nemocnice hovoria, že zomrie ešte viac ľudí. Ako je to u vás?
>
>Áno, úmrtnosť je určite vyššia. V druhej vlne sa covid správal predvídateľne, až sme sa vo februári smiali, že sa k nám budú Taliani chodiť učiť medicínu. Vedeli sme, že bude mať začiatočnú fázu, potom fázu akcelerácie, progresie a po desiatich dňoch bude rekonvalescencia. Ak pacient zvládne desať dní a nenastane zásadná komplikácia, prežije. Pri delte je to nepredvídateľné, aj po desiatich dňoch pacienti majú v nosohltane strašne vysokú vírusovú nálož. Dôvod je,

Christopher Walken

I just started playing this game and recently got to Lake Knot City, wanted to finish building the road but one of the Auto-Pavers are deep inside MULE territory. I was only equipped with a strand rope, EX grenades and Hematic grenades. I tried using EX grenade 02 on them but they just kept charging at me. However, when I use Hematic grenade, upon impact released a cloud of red mist which disoriented them enough for me to go behind and tie them down with strand rope. After realizing that, I lure them one at a time and tie them up until I cleared them all and successfully build that section of the highway. Pretty cool!

In hindsight, I didn't know just doing craftman mission I can get the Bola Gun but hopefully this helps others as well when they are out of ammo!

Nothing, he was gladiator.

^(Spoilers to follow.)

#Korra

”No matter what happens, no matter how crazy things get, I'll always try to restore balance.”

Appearance in Book 1 (age 17)

Appearance in Book 4 (age 21)

Introduction

Korra is the current incarnation of the Avatar, the product of a human soul bonded with Raava, the spirit of light. It is the Avatar’s duty to promote harmony between the nations of the world, and between the physical world and the Spirit World. When the Avatar dies, they reincarnate into a new body with a new personality and no memories of their past lives. Korra’s immediate predecessor was Avatar Aang.

Abilities

As the Avatar, Korra is the only person who can bend (manipulate) all four elements. Starting at the end of Book 1, she can amplify her bending by going into the Avatar State, indicated by glowing eyes. Prior to the end of Book 2, this also gives Korra the bending expertise of her past lives, though the creators have reportedly stated that her Avatar State isn’t any weaker after that point. However, if she is killed in the Avatar State, she will not reincarnate, and the Avatar cycle will be broken.

Biography

Korra was born into the Southern Water Tribe, near the south pole. She had a sheltered upbringing there, watched over by her father, Chief Tonraq, and her mother, Senna. She befriended a polar bear dog named Naga, who became her lifelong companion. At age four, Korra could already bend three elements. She was discovered by the Order of the White Lotus, a group charged with protecting the Avatar. Under the White Lotus’s guidance, Korra trained in water-, earth-, and firebending. At age seventeen, she fled her home to visit Republic City. There, she met and befriended Mako, Bolin, and Asami, and was taught airbending by Tenzin, the son of Avatar Aang. With their help, Korra was able to resolve a non-bender uprising in Republic City. Korra went on to stop a civil war between the Water Tribes, halt an invasion of dark spirits, take down an anarchist group (nearly dying in the process), and defeat a dictator bent on conquering the Earth Kingdom.

Personality

After being cooped up in the Southern Water Tribe most of her life, Korra is