What did the crocodile say when his tail was stepped on?


👍︎ 6
📅︎ Oct 14 2019
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Got a vasectomy earlier this week. Can't masturbate for a while so I have lots of free time for dad jokes.

Seems like a vas improvement so far.

The urologist told me that I need to use an athletic supporter for 3 to 7 days following the procedure but he also said not to ejaculate for at least a week so what exactly am I supposed to do with this cheerleader in my basement?

Speaking of birth control, what's the difference between permanent female sterilization and a Russian bakery? Well, one's a tubal ligation, the other's a Ruble pie station.

My greatest regret in all this is that I can no longer dress up for Halloween as a pirate and carrying around a sign that says, "Ask me what I use to convey sperm from my testicle to my urethra," for the sake of replying, "A vas, matey!"

Look, these are hard to come up with and my nads are sore. Give me something to make the wife groan that sexy, "why did I marry you" groan that we all love.

👍︎ 20
📅︎ Feb 19 2017
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