Did you know that musician Bob Seger wanted to be a chess master?

He was always working on his knight moves...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/the_bradley
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19 2021
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I named my printer Bob Marley

Because it's always Jammin'

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πŸ‘€︎ u/icemage27
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2020
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I have a friend named bob

Me:Bob has no arms

Me:knock knock

Six year old: Who's there?

Me: not bob! (Cue laughter)

Six year old: bob who?...

Fuck it

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πŸ‘€︎ u/nephrenra
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2020
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What do you call Bob the Builder when he is unemployed?

Bob

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2020
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What was Bob Marley's favorite seasoning?

Oreggaeno

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πŸ‘€︎ u/enjoyinglifetoday
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2020
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Last month my doctor told me, "Bob, this is seriously urgent. You really have to start drinking less vodka."

I've been out to at least 40 different bars since then, but no one seems to carry that brand. Anyone know where to find it?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BuhoBuhoGris
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2020
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A police officer, notorious for bad spelling, is set to interrogate three theives, Tim, Bob, and Joe.

When asked who he thinks will give up the location stolen goods, he replys β€œOnly Time will tell”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/StefanE30325i
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2020
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Bob:.. I went to see my doctor about having a vasectomy Jack:.. " That's a pretty big decision, have you talked it over with your family?"

Bob:..."Yes, they're in favor of it, 14 to 3..."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Brucemoose1
πŸ“…︎ Sep 17 2020
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How does Bob Marley like his donuts??

With "jammin"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/burgersandchips2
πŸ“…︎ Sep 05 2020
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What do you say when you see Bob Marley cooking?

What Jamaican?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/zZREQUIEMZz
πŸ“…︎ Aug 31 2020
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Did you hear that Bob Barker died?

He got hit by a brAND NEW CAAAAAR!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/millre01
πŸ“…︎ Aug 31 2020
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What would Bob Ross be called if he was a dentist?

Bob Floss.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MR_TRUMP_Vincent2
πŸ“…︎ Aug 04 2020
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At Bob's retirement party the Director stands up and says "I'd just like to say a word about Bob", clears his throat and then says, "plethora",

Bob turns to him and says, "thank you, that means a lot".

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Nomadic187187
πŸ“…︎ Jul 09 2020
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How does Bob Marley like his doughnuts?

With Jam in...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bridges1
πŸ“…︎ Jul 05 2020
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[Request] Can anyone please help me come up with a business name that is a Bob's Burgers-level pun?

The neighboring store front and exterminator van in the opening credits have the best punny business names and always crack me up. I'm a fan and would love to name my business in a similar fashion. ETA Examples: I'd Hit That Boxing Gym. Lady and the Clamp, Hardware for Her. A Fridge Too Far. Cupid's Stupid, Divorce Attorneys. A Ton in the Oven, Big and Tall Baby Clothes. Let's Scissor! Collage Studio. Don't Stop Bereaving, Grief Counseling.

But I am So. Stuck.

A little background about my business idea: I'm a personal/sometimes virtual assistant specializing in household admin and management. I'm marketing mostly towards blue collar men who might be widows/divorcees who never had to worry about the general finances and household paperwork. Some of the services offered are: budget setting, bill paying, appointment setting/calendar management, travel arrangements, errands, personal & grocery shopping, pet & house sitting, etc...

I'm ready to take the next steps in making this an actual business and take out some ad space, but the perfectionist in me NEEDS a brilliant name. Can someone please help me? The best I can come up with is some sort of play on Pepper Potts, but I see quite a few VAs out there with that as a business name. I will gift a platinum to the one I like the best if that's appropriate.

Thank you in advance! πŸ”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/EmElleGee31
πŸ“…︎ Jan 31 2020
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Bob Dylan came to my house the day after Daylight Savings and adjusted all of my clocks.

He said the times they were a-changin’.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bjlind718
πŸ“…︎ Jun 09 2020
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Well,Bob just decrypted.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/puggzu
πŸ“…︎ Apr 19 2020
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I once won silver for curling and bronze for the Bob

...yet hairdresser of year still eludes me.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ May 23 2020
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Simple Bob walks into a bar and says, Hey everybody...I got a job.

A barfly yells back at him...How is it something so stupid can get a job? Aren't you stupid?

Simple Bob smiles and says, No because if it's stupid and it works...It ain't stupid.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/catonmyshoulder69
πŸ“…︎ Mar 24 2020
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Well Bobs your uncle
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πŸ‘€︎ u/eeeeeeeeeeek_7
πŸ“…︎ Nov 07 2019
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Bob Cat
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πŸ‘€︎ u/frateeeezzeeee
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2019
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Bob the Boulder [OC]
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πŸ‘€︎ u/pununciation
πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2019
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I named my stapler at work Bob Marley.

Because it keeps jamin’

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πŸ‘€︎ u/platformjuan
πŸ“…︎ Aug 24 2019
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Bob takes a stroll while talking about an old shoot 'em up

Yeah, he's a walking Contra-diction.

Alternative for the logic nerds:

Bob is always honest, and he says he doesn't like shoot 'em ups. His identical twin Joe says he loves shoot 'em ups. How do we know Joe is honest? Because if something is true, then so is its Contra-positive.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/IceMetalPunk
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2019
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What was Bob the builder called when he retired

Bob

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πŸ‘€︎ u/shipsmate
πŸ“…︎ Sep 26 2018
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Bob Dylan bought a watch made of a toilet flush and Bombay Sapphire.

The times they are a chain gin.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2019
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Bob Seger was once playing Chess

That's when he noticed, "Ain't it funny how the knight moves?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/xwhy
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2019
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"Did you hear about Bob falling into the well?"

"Oh my, how did that happen?"

"He didnt see that well."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/haravava
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2019
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I have a friend named Bob

He hates it when I say his name backwards

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sarch3092
πŸ“…︎ Apr 07 2019
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How did bob marley propose anna?

. . . He said "i want to marijuana".

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Drdoofinschmirtz
πŸ“…︎ Aug 15 2019
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Sideshow Bob could never get a job at Moe's Tavern

Because of his many past failures with Bart-ending.

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/xwhy
πŸ“…︎ Jun 09 2017
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Two friends Bob and Frank are lost in the jungle when they are surrounded by a group of blood thirsty cannibals.

They are surrounded by dozens of the fierce blood thirsty warriors armed with clubs and spears. The leader of the warriors approaches the two friends and informs them they are trespassing on sacred land and unless they can prove they are descendants of the Gods they will be killed and eaten.

Bob and Frank realize they have little choice but agree they will attempt any test to try to save their lives.

The chief warrior brings them a bowl full of angry fire ants and drops one small seed into the bowl. He informs them they must put their lips in the bowl and suck as hard as they can. If they manage to suck up only the seed without sucking up an ant then the tribe would know they must be sent from the Gods.

Bob looks wearily at Frank but knowing they have no other options he puts his lips in the bowl and sucks hard. He immediately gets a mouth full of ants and screams in pain as they bite away at the inside of his mouth. Frank now even more nervous takes his turn and to his dismay also receives a nasty mouthful of the viscous buggers.

The warriors leap to their feet and surround the friends, β€œNow you must die” declares the chieftain. Just as the first spear is raised to Franks throat he screams β€œTria-Gan!” The warriors stop dead in their tracks. β€œWhat did you say” asked the chief. β€œTria-Gan” yelled frank again. Immediately the chief and his warriors turned and fled into the forest.

β€œHoly shit” said Bob β€œWhat did you just say and how did you know it would work?”

β€œWell” said Frank, β€œmy Mother always told me if at first you don’t suck seed try Tria-Gan.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/usernamemispeled
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26 2019
🚨︎ report
How does Bob Marley like his donuts?

With jam in.

What does Bob Marley say to his friends when they come around for donuts and coffee?

"I hope you like jam in too"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ARushandaPush
πŸ“…︎ Aug 31 2019
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A couple of decades ago we had Johnny Cash, Bob Hope, and Steve Jobs. Now, there's no cash, no hope, and no jobs...

For the love of God, don't let Kevin Bacon pass away

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Chateau512
πŸ“…︎ Jul 11 2019
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Stranger: "Bob? Is that short for Robert?"

Bobert: "No."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TarOfficial
πŸ“…︎ Jul 31 2018
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Family asked why I named my printer at home Bob Marley

Because it’s always jammin’

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ntuso
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2019
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What do you call a banana named Bob?

Bobnana

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πŸ“…︎ Feb 27 2019
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Did you hear that Bob Barker died?

He got hit by a BRAND NEW CAR!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/millre01
πŸ“…︎ Mar 24 2020
🚨︎ report
What does Bob Dylan say during daylight savings time?

The Times They Are a-Changin'

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ“…︎ Nov 23 2019
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I named my printer Bob Marley

because it keeps jammin'

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BritSarcasm
πŸ“…︎ Jul 30 2019
🚨︎ report

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