What kind of tree is the best for blocking water?
I went to a warehouse that held replacement keyboard keys. Huge bins overflowing with letters, numbers, function keys, boxes blocking the aisles full of arrows, and Windows and Apple keys. Space bars everywhere!
They were out of Control.
Luckily I found an Escape.
I got Home eventually.
BREAKING: The United States, after mistaking it for an Iranian submarine, has struck a utility submarine with an underwater torpedo that was en route to displace the shipping carrier blocking the Suez Canal, killing all 169 aboard
Jim Morrison was standing in front of the television as a child, blocking his father's view of the game.
His father shouted, "Jim! You make a better Door than a window!"
My holiday home neighbour planted a tall row of trees blocking my view.
Whaddya call a cow blocking a stream?
Whaddya think? You call it a damn cow!
The police are looking for a man who is running up to strangers and blocking the sun from reaching them
They describe him as a shady character
The store manager asked me if I could move the Kia that was blocking the exit.
I said that I could, but that’s not my Forte.
Did you hear that Dolly Parton married an artist who doesnt like things blocking doorways, and insists anything that does, should be sold?
I forget his name. I think it was Sellthedoor Dolly
What do you call a brown delivery truck blocking traffic?
Friend: "Ugh, this stupid christian fur is blocking my video game!"
Me: "You mean the Cross-hair?"
A chemical toilet truck was blocking the road today.
The other day my dad was driving down a highway in Canada and there was a cow in the middle of the highway blocking traffic...
Transport trucks were slamming on their breaks and cars were backed up. My dad pulled over and called 911, in which he explained the situation and said "I think you should come and have them remooooooved."
My grandpa would always say this whenever I was blocking the TV from view
"You're a pain, but I can't see through ya".
When someone is blocking is view of the TV
Subtle hints are the order of the day:
"You make a better door than a window"
"You should play football... you'd make an excellent blocker"
Today’s meeting topic is(drumroll please) why are we sitting on blocks of meet
A block of cheese went to the gym and
The New Kids on The Block (taken in Bolingbroke, ON)
My two year old was playing cars and blocks with my wife, when she (the toddler) put a block on the road on her city map carpet and said:
Why did the block of cheese not want to get sliced ?
There was a break in at an office block recently. Many folders, calendars and filing cabinets were stolen.
Police believe it to be the work of organised crime.
A man with a guitar walked up to me and said that he had a case of writers block.
My left nostril is blocked
No more Suez Canal jokes!
I decided to throw a block of butter off my roof today...
I guess i could say that i saw a butterfly
I wrote a song about the Suez ship that blocked the whole width of the canal.
It's called Bridge Over Troubled Water.
Did you see how excited everyone was for the newest Lego set?
People lined up for blocks.
What kind of glue can you use to hold ice blocks together?
One day, as I was walking home, someone threw a block of cheese at my head. I thought-
“That’s not very mature!”
For the past few days, I wake up to see someone has dumped a bunch of LEGO blocks on my front porch.
I don’t know what to make of it.
My fiancée and I were on a hike.
There was a detour to get to an overlook to see a waterfall. When we reached the overlook, there was thick shrubbery in front of us blocking the view of the waterfall.
Fiancée: Ugh, I can hear the falls but I can't see it.
Me: I guess it wasn't an overlook, it was an overhear.
Murders being conducted all over this block
I absentmindedly bought a block of cheese. As soon as I unwrapped it, it spoke, saying, "I'm depressed. Can you help with this sadness?"
Damn. I picked up bleu cheese.
Lego land might reopen soon.
People are lining up for blocks.
How I got blocked on Twitter
Girl: why does every reference of Steve Irwin make me cry?
Me: Does it makes you cry “crocodile tears?”
There’s a big thunderstorm. The road is blocked by a big mudslide. A little boy asks his dad, “Why does earth fall down like that?”
His dad answers, “It’s terrain.”
I should have been making more jokes about the whole Suez canal situation...
I really missed the boat on that one
I tried street racing once and lost.
I was out of breath after two blocks, but the street kept going for miles.
What did one block of cheese say to the other?
Need shredded cheese but only have a block?
Use the block to play your guitar really hard...
Shred it......
Cheesy I know, but I think it's gouda
How did the bagel shop owner get rid of the competition on his block?
He ran a pretty intense schmear campaign
I took my car for a service yesterday morning.
The pastor told me to get out, as I was blocking the aisle.
My wife blocked me on Facebook because I post too many bird puns.
Well, toucan play that game.
Why did the author suffer writers block after rectal surgery?
He was left with only a semicolon.
My two sons 5&8 are playing Minecraft this morning on survival. They are working hard together to build their mansion. I crossed the room in front of the TV to grab my phone as they are balanced high on a wall constructing a roof. My son screams out, “Dad get out of the way!”
I said, “You’re the ones blocking!”
I won a duel last week with a block of cheddar cheese. How you might ask?
Because it was extra sharp.
A guy threw a block of cheese at me in the supermarket
I said to him “now that’s no very mature now is it?”
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