What kind of drink can be bitter and sweet?
ποΈ 5
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οΈ Dec 22 2020
I was brewing my first batch of beer with a friend and he told me to add the seed cones that are used primarily as a bittering, flavoring, and stability agents.
ποΈ 5
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οΈ May 05 2020
Why was the man bitter?
Because his pH was greater than 7.
ποΈ 10
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οΈ Jan 25 2020
Did you hear about the angry pancake?
ποΈ 46
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οΈ Nov 10 2020
He espressoβd himself well in the last part. Not bitter at all!
ποΈ 13
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οΈ May 07 2019
Just went in to Starbucks and the barista was wearing a face mask.
I asked "Why are you wearing a surgical mask?"
She said "I'm not, it's a coughy filter."
ποΈ 7k
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οΈ Mar 05 2020
Bitter coffee
ποΈ 541
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οΈ Jul 10 2017
I always used to mistype the word 'bitter'.
ποΈ 6
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οΈ Jul 06 2019
My wife gave me an ultimatum. It was either her or my addiction to sweets.
The decision was a piece of cake.
ποΈ 8k
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οΈ Jan 30 2020
My dad came up to me and said, βyour mom and I have been married for so long, we are on our 4th bottle of bittersβ
ποΈ 4
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οΈ Apr 03 2019
A recipe for a good relationship
My wife and daughter are working on improving the meringue cookie recipe they are using.
I asked if the batter was better and my wife said yes.
So I asked if it had enough sugar or if it was a bitter better batter.
The look on her face was priceless!
I reminded her that she knew my sense of humor before she married me and went through with it anyway.
ποΈ 11
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οΈ Nov 30 2020
I'm pretty bitter about having nothing to cut my wood with
You could say I'm a saw loser.
ποΈ 51
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οΈ Apr 06 2016
Why is bok choy bitter?
Because baby bok choy gets all the attention.
ποΈ 3
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οΈ Mar 22 2019
I ordered an Italian salad, and it didn't even have any of that bitter, red, cabbage-like stuff...
How utterly radicchio-less.
ποΈ 7
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οΈ May 15 2018
I used to hate facial hair, but then it grew on me
What kind of drink can be bitter and sweet? Reali-tea.
Hehe
ποΈ 7
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οΈ Dec 04 2020
A string goes into a bar and orders a beer. Bartender says "Sorry, we don't serve strings here, mate". String goes out, loops itself and frazzles the bitter end. Goes back in the bar and the bartender says "Aren't you that string from a few minutes ago?"
Which came the reply "Nope, I'm a frayed knot."
ποΈ 4
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οΈ Jun 27 2018
Spring is acting like a bitter ex-wife.
ποΈ 9
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οΈ Mar 26 2018
So, I hear that Maybelline and Loreal are bitter enemies.
I really hope they "make-up."
ποΈ 3
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οΈ May 29 2018
Almost got arrested for pouring myself a coffee this morning.
ποΈ 20
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οΈ May 24 2020
What does Lela_chan have in common with coffee?
We're both bitter and drunk in the mornings.
ποΈ 4
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οΈ Sep 01 2020
My wife is really mad that I donβt have a sense of direction
So I packed up my stuff and right!
ποΈ 87
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οΈ Feb 22 2020
What do you call a depressed vegetable
ποΈ 90
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οΈ Oct 25 2019
I like my women like I like my coffee
Iβve never had coffee but it smells nice.
ποΈ 1k
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οΈ Jun 01 2018
Arguments are like Beers
ποΈ 6
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οΈ May 19 2020
I like my coffee like I like my women
Fast to wake me up when thereβs donuts!
ποΈ 3
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οΈ Nov 20 2019
I like German sausage, but its puns are the wurst.
Don't be bitter about dank puns. Danke. Bitte.
ποΈ 3
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οΈ Jan 05 2020
I crashed my bike into a lemon tree last week
It's left me feeling bitter and twisted
ποΈ 6
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οΈ Apr 14 2020
Pulled some culinary joke on my Girlfriend.
We were making pancake mix and it was a little thick, so I was pouring milk and stirring to get a better consistency. Once I got a good mix she said
"That's better"
I look up and say
"No, that's batter"
She hit me.
ποΈ 2k
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οΈ Aug 12 2016
What do you call a sad cup of coffee?
ποΈ 22
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οΈ Mar 24 2019
You're a lot like an IPA
You're bitter, but I like you.
(credit to my coworker who is a walking, talking dad joke)
ποΈ 2
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οΈ Oct 18 2019
What happened when the beer got divorced?
ποΈ 4
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οΈ Aug 13 2019
It's 2:00am on January 1st where I live.
I haven't slept since last year and I'm EXHAUSTED!
ποΈ 138
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οΈ Dec 31 2014
This happened at a recent Easter party at my wifeβs colleagueβs house:
It was a party mostly with parents and their children.
A kid (about 5 years old) stubbed his toe and started crying.
One of the dads said, βOh, you stubbed your toe? Want to to call the toe truck?β
I know itβs not fresh, but I laughed my ass off and was slightly bitter that I didnβt think of it.
ποΈ 25
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οΈ Apr 23 2019
Whatβs the emotion called when a vampire has a deep feeling or anxiety about biting someone?
ποΈ 4
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οΈ Aug 13 2018
My dad gave us this
My folks came up to visit. My mom flubbed the coffee, putting the grounds in the water chamber and she had to disassemble it and clean it before making coffee. Once we had piping hot cups all around my dad chimes in with this:
"You know, messing up the coffee is grounds for divorce."
ποΈ 76
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οΈ Apr 15 2014
Man walks into a bar...
Says to the landlord "A pint of bitter please". Gets his beer & says "I shouldn't be having this with wot I've got".
Landlord says "wots that then?"
Man says "15p"!
ποΈ 2
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οΈ Jun 30 2019
I used to wage footsie wars
But I donβt like the bitter taste of de-feet
ποΈ 2
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οΈ Jun 20 2019
Old Fashioned
Some might call it old fashioned but I enjoy my bourbon with a dash of bitters and a sugar cube
ποΈ 14
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οΈ Dec 31 2015
Did you hear that the Lemon and the Orange divorced?
The Lemon was very bitter.
ποΈ 10
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οΈ Jan 29 2017
What kind of drink can be bitter and sweet?
ποΈ 8
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οΈ Jul 01 2020
I like my coffee like I like my women...
ποΈ 39
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οΈ Jul 06 2018
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