What kind of drink can be bitter and sweet?

Reali-tea

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Jaxerfp
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 22 2020
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I was brewing my first batch of beer with a friend and he told me to add the seed cones that are used primarily as a bittering, flavoring, and stability agents.

I hopped to it!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 05 2020
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Why was the man bitter?

Because his pH was greater than 7.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 10
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Lyreoz
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 25 2020
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Did you hear about the angry pancake?

He just flipped.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 46
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/aliceinwonderland5
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 10 2020
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He espresso’d himself well in the last part. Not bitter at all!
πŸ‘οΈŽ 13
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Gehhhh
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 07 2019
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Just went in to Starbucks and the barista was wearing a face mask.

I asked "Why are you wearing a surgical mask?"

She said "I'm not, it's a coughy filter."

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/icebucketwood
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 05 2020
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Bitter coffee
πŸ‘οΈŽ 541
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/acadiel
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 10 2017
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I always used to mistype the word 'bitter'.

I've gotten better.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 06 2019
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My wife gave me an ultimatum. It was either her or my addiction to sweets.

The decision was a piece of cake.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 8k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 30 2020
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My dad came up to me and said, β€œyour mom and I have been married for so long, we are on our 4th bottle of bitters”
πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/The--Dudest
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 03 2019
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A recipe for a good relationship

My wife and daughter are working on improving the meringue cookie recipe they are using.

I asked if the batter was better and my wife said yes.

So I asked if it had enough sugar or if it was a bitter better batter.

The look on her face was priceless!

I reminded her that she knew my sense of humor before she married me and went through with it anyway.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 11
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/MikeyRidesABikey
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 30 2020
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I'm pretty bitter about having nothing to cut my wood with

You could say I'm a saw loser.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 51
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ask-a-physicist
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 06 2016
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Why is bok choy bitter?

Because baby bok choy gets all the attention.

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/El_Jefe_21
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 22 2019
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I ordered an Italian salad, and it didn't even have any of that bitter, red, cabbage-like stuff...

How utterly radicchio-less.

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/sickmission
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 15 2018
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I used to hate facial hair, but then it grew on me

What kind of drink can be bitter and sweet? Reali-tea.

Hehe

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/thachickenchaser
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 04 2020
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A string goes into a bar and orders a beer. Bartender says "Sorry, we don't serve strings here, mate". String goes out, loops itself and frazzles the bitter end. Goes back in the bar and the bartender says "Aren't you that string from a few minutes ago?"

Which came the reply "Nope, I'm a frayed knot."

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Rocknocker
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 27 2018
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Spring is acting like a bitter ex-wife.

I just wanna see my sun!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 9
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/kekehippo
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 26 2018
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So, I hear that Maybelline and Loreal are bitter enemies.

I really hope they "make-up."

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Godzilla_KOM
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 29 2018
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Almost got arrested for pouring myself a coffee this morning.

It was mugged.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 20
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/this_time_i_mean_it
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 24 2020
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What does Lela_chan have in common with coffee?

We're both bitter and drunk in the mornings.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Lela_chan
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 01 2020
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My wife is really mad that I don’t have a sense of direction

So I packed up my stuff and right!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 87
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/viv137
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 22 2020
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What do you call a depressed vegetable

Despairagus

πŸ‘οΈŽ 90
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/HazelTazel
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 25 2019
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I like my women like I like my coffee

I’ve never had coffee but it smells nice.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 1k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Frooski-Boi
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 01 2018
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Arguments are like Beers

They can both be bitter

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Enagon
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 19 2020
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I like my coffee like I like my women

Fast to wake me up when there’s donuts!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/vinnyblanc00
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 20 2019
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I like German sausage, but its puns are the wurst.

Don't be bitter about dank puns. Danke. Bitte.

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/3RfEKutS
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 05 2020
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I crashed my bike into a lemon tree last week

It's left me feeling bitter and twisted

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/snakesinfur
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 14 2020
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Pulled some culinary joke on my Girlfriend.

We were making pancake mix and it was a little thick, so I was pouring milk and stirring to get a better consistency. Once I got a good mix she said

"That's better"

I look up and say

"No, that's batter"

She hit me.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/War_Messiah
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 12 2016
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What do you call a sad cup of coffee?

A depresso

πŸ‘οΈŽ 22
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/yabsterr
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 24 2019
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You're a lot like an IPA

You're bitter, but I like you.

(credit to my coworker who is a walking, talking dad joke)

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/vouksh
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 18 2019
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What happened when the beer got divorced?

It became bitter.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/dr-forking-crane
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 13 2019
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It's 2:00am on January 1st where I live.

I haven't slept since last year and I'm EXHAUSTED!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 138
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/LordHussyPants
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 31 2014
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This happened at a recent Easter party at my wife’s colleague’s house:

It was a party mostly with parents and their children.

A kid (about 5 years old) stubbed his toe and started crying.

One of the dads said, β€œOh, you stubbed your toe? Want to to call the toe truck?”

I know it’s not fresh, but I laughed my ass off and was slightly bitter that I didn’t think of it.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 25
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Papa-heph
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 23 2019
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What’s the emotion called when a vampire has a deep feeling or anxiety about biting someone?

Fangst.

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/jeremy_k1976
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 13 2018
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My dad gave us this

My folks came up to visit. My mom flubbed the coffee, putting the grounds in the water chamber and she had to disassemble it and clean it before making coffee. Once we had piping hot cups all around my dad chimes in with this:

"You know, messing up the coffee is grounds for divorce."

πŸ‘οΈŽ 76
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Jaberkaty
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 15 2014
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Man walks into a bar...

Says to the landlord "A pint of bitter please". Gets his beer & says "I shouldn't be having this with wot I've got". Landlord says "wots that then?" Man says "15p"!

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Estarwoo
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 30 2019
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I used to wage footsie wars

But I don’t like the bitter taste of de-feet

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/G0415
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 20 2019
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Old Fashioned

Some might call it old fashioned but I enjoy my bourbon with a dash of bitters and a sugar cube

πŸ‘οΈŽ 14
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/iFuJ
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 31 2015
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Did you hear that the Lemon and the Orange divorced?

The Lemon was very bitter.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 10
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Bigfoothobbit
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 29 2017
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What kind of drink can be bitter and sweet?

Reali-tea....

πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Dani_SF
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 01 2020
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I like my coffee like I like my women...

Without a penis.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 39
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Creeds_a_Maybe
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 06 2018
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