A bear is riding a bike in the woods
when he passes a man who notices him and yells:
"What the heck?! Bears don't know how to ride bikes!
The bear replies: "oh right, i forgot!" and tips over.
My uncle used to tell me this joke as a kid and it took me a while to understand the tiny but valuable lesson behind it.
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︎ May 11 2021
Why is riding a bike, jumping off, then riding a bike again good for the environment?
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︎ Apr 28 2021
Our family dog used to chase people riding bikes
It got so bad in the end, we had to take the bikes off him.
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︎ Mar 07 2021
I saw a cyclist riding close to a steep cliff. He hit some gravel and veered away from the road toward the precipice. At the last minute he saved himself by jumping from his bike.
For a moment, I thought he was gone with the Schwinn.
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︎ Jun 04 2020
I was riding my bike through the countryside when I was attacked by a herd of sheep...
Fortunately, I was only grazed.
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︎ Apr 02 2019
Did you hear about the whale who always wears a helmet when riding a bike?
He does it for safety porpoises
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︎ Jan 27 2020
I just saw a guy riding a bike while trying to sell a donkey.
He was peddling his ass all over town.
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︎ Jul 03 2019
I used to love riding my bike around Iceland
Until I got kicked out of the shop.
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︎ Sep 02 2019
Jim was riding his bike with his friend Bill when he hit a pothole and flew over his handlebars...
He was badly injured, and yelled to his friend, "Quick! Call me a doctor!"
Bill said, "I don't really see how that will help, but if you insist: 'You're a doctor!'"
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︎ Jan 29 2019
Every time I fix something on my bike, something else breaks and I hurt myself. But I always end up riding again.
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︎ Jun 12 2013
Was riding my bike and got in an accident, dad texted to see how I was doing
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︎ Oct 29 2013
I saw two waterfowl riding bikes.
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︎ Apr 30 2015
Did you guys hear the story about the angry man riding a Walmart kids bike?
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︎ Oct 05 2016
Where do crazy people ride their bikes?
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︎ Jan 18 2021
Apu and his family went on a bike ride.
It was known as the Nahasapeema-peloton.
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︎ May 31 2020
Every morning I take a bike ride through the park at least twice no matter how exhausted I am...
I always push myself to recycle.
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︎ Feb 04 2020
βAccidentally played dad instead of dead when I encountered a bear and now it can ride a bike without training wheelsβ
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︎ Dec 27 2018
The bike I tried to ride today wouldn't move
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︎ Jun 29 2019
I asked my dad why he never rides his bike without training wheels,
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︎ May 08 2019
Me, to the biker gang leader: I thought we were supposed to ride our bikes together at the same speed!
Biker gang leader: Yes, but for the love of God, Stop calling it βsynchronizing our cyclesβ.
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︎ Dec 27 2018
I didn't believe it when someone said they can ride a bike on one wheel, but it turns out...
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︎ Jun 20 2019
It's a 5 minute walk from my house to the bar, but a 45 minute walk from the bar to my house...
The difference is staggering
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︎ Sep 08 2020
What do you call someone who rides vintage bikes?
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︎ Jan 06 2019
Did you hear about the guy who tried to ride a bike on the summit of Mt Everest?
It started out well but then things went downhill pretty fast.
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︎ Dec 30 2017
I used to ride a bike and I would race it all the time.
I raced it so much, whenever I would show up, people would say, "Look! Here comes that racist!"
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︎ Aug 20 2017
My daughter has been learning to ride her bike for a while now.
It's been slow. She usually only manages a few metres in a straight line before stopping. Today she cycled along for ages with one arm held out to the side.
I think she's finally turning a corner.
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︎ Jul 30 2017
A shark can swim faster than me, but I reckon I can run faster than a shark.
So, if it was a Triathlon, it would come down to, which one of us was better at riding a bike....Right!
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︎ Jan 04 2021
Dadjoked on bike ride. Stated to wife that I thought the house we were passing was a tudor.
The guy was just coming out of the garage (which has three doors) And says, "No it's a three door".
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︎ May 17 2015
My mom suggested to my dad and brother that they go on a bike ride...
Dad: I dunno, I'm kinda tired
Bro: Yeah, I don't think I could handle that right now
Dad: I think we've already spoken about this
Bro: Give me a brake, dad
Dad: What, you can't keep the chain of puns going?
Bro: I can kick it into a higher gear
Dad: I might have to reflect on your puns for a minute
Bro: As long as you don't tread over any of my good ones
Dad: Wheel see how long you can keep this up
Me: Hey, I like...bikes
Dad: ΰ² _ΰ²
Bro: ΰ² _ΰ²
Mom: β_β
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︎ Aug 04 2015
That bike ride was a bit bumpy
You should get a horse, it would be more stable
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︎ Oct 14 2015
My wife said, of RideLondon participants, "I can ride faster than that on my bike in the garage"
I replied, you won't get very far in the garage
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︎ Aug 02 2015
GF went for a bike ride yesterday
Her: My legs feel so taut.
Me: What are they learning?
-3 seconds of silence-
Her: siiiiiiiiiiiiigh
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︎ Dec 19 2014
Father in law likes to bike ride
FIL: "Going for a ride, back in a bit"
MIL: "Okay, be safe. Make sure to watch your shoulder"
FIL: "But if I watch my shoulder how can I see where I'm going? Doesn't seem safe to me"
MIL: ...groan
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︎ Oct 13 2013
A police officer just knocked on my door and told me my dogs are chasing people on bikes.
Thatβs ridiculous. My dogs donβt even own bikes
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︎ Jun 18 2019
I was really cold on my bike ride to work this morning...
Then I realized I was listening to chill music. I turned it off and was instantly warmer.
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︎ Jan 03 2014
How many kids with ADD does it take to change a lightbulb?
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︎ Nov 16 2019
Still up for sale?
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︎ Mar 15 2019
If you ride a bike once, then ride it again
is that recycling?
(My dad's joke)
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︎ Jul 28 2019
Where do crazy people ride their bikes?
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︎ Dec 02 2018
I accidentally played 'dad' instead of 'dead' when the bear attacked..
Now, it can ride a bike without stabilisers.
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︎ Nov 25 2020
Going on a 30 mile bike ride
Me: did you fix the brake on my bike?
Dad: Give me a break!
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︎ Sep 21 2013
I accidentally played 'Dad' instead of 'Dead', when the bear attacked.
Now it can ride a bike without stabilisers.
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︎ Jan 13 2021
I accidentally played dad instead of dead when encountering a bear
Now it can ride a bike without training wheels
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︎ Jun 27 2020
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