True story, just happened, proud of myself: Dog starts barking furiously out of nowhere. Come to the door to see she's startled a pair of guys from a roofing company who've come to fix a hole where squirrels are getting in.
"Sorry about her. Her specialty is also roofing."
Blank stares. My talents are so wasted without kids.
Have y'all ever heard about the Spanish dog who could bark the word yes?
TIL the average dog barks 14 times a day.
This is just a ruff estimate, though.
My dog used to bark Bow-Wow! Older now, he goes AARP-AARP!
Why did the dog bark at the tree?
Because the tree barked first
What did Obi Wan Kenobi say when he heard the cow bark?
Why did the smaller dog have a better bark than the bigger dog?
Cause he was a sub woofer!
Wife says I won’t get 5 upvotes for this, but... Did you hear the one about the dog and the tree?
They had a long conversation about bark.
Edit: Y'all are nuts! We're somewhere north of 10k upvotes now, so I'll direct any remaining attention to Boot Camp for New Dads.
Found a way to stop my dog from barking in the front garden....
I put it in the back garden.
Why is the skin of tree trunks called bark?
So I my son started to bark at me
Kept on insisting that I had promised to build him a treehouse but I don't remember evergreening this elm of a contract.
Though he kept inisisting I had birch the agreement due to the long delay but my attempt to confern the fertility of the spruce was in roots. Now I have to oak up and face the spruce. My weekend has been soiled and I now have to maple my son's treehouse whilst I willow my day away. Although... Now that I twig about it, having a treehouse in my yard sounds like a pine idea.
The trees around the house are starting to bud. I said to my wife, "Honey, do you know what happens when the trees leaf out?"
A look of hopeful curiosity washed over her as she fell into my trap. "No, what?"
"Very SHADY things."
It must've reminded her that she had something else to do that was very important.
My dog got castrated and he suddenly stopped barking at the neighbours's dog.
I think he just doesn't have the balls to do it anymore.
They say you can identify a tree by its bark, but this one has me stumped.
Wood you say my dog is ok?
I accidentally used the dog shampoo today....
I'm feeling like such a good boy.
What did the dog say to the ceiling?
As a child, I was supposed to walk the plank
We couldn't afford a dog.
My dog decided to become a professional at barking
I think I'll get him a subwoofer
Tree barks. Lumberjack leaves.
Dogs have different barks in different countries
The american dogs go bark bark, the Scandinavian dogs go bjeff bjeff and the british dogs go bruv bruv.
My dad trained his dog to sniff rocks and bark when it found a fossil.
It's a trained barkeologist.
How do you greet a rapper who barks?
My brother asked me why they're called dogwoods
I told him it's because they have ruff bark.
What do you call a dog with a deep bark
What sound does a tree make?
Got myself a new dog, with a low, loud and resonant bark.
Going to call him Sub-woofer.
In the early days of Tesla, they had difficulties getting the CEO to show up on time to meetings, so they trained a puppy to find him and bark until he arrived...
...all they had to say was "get Elon little doggie".
You don't want to get on a tree's bad side.
When I'm running late dropping my kids off at daycare, I call in to my 8am Zoom meeting from my car.
I call it, "phoning it in."
My wife rang me at the pub and said, “If you’re not home in 10 minutes, I’m giving the dinner I cooked you to the dog.” I was home in 5 minutes.
I’d hate for anything to happen to the dog.
What did the tree say to his tree girlfriend
I wood do anything for you
What do you call a barking dog in the Arctic?
A sub-woofer
Thanks for sorting by new you are doing a great job :)
Barking a lot on a parking lot
My dog initially barked when the people installing my shingles started then barked again as they finished...
Re-roofing complete.
*Edit: reworded punchline. I think it might be better said "replacing my shingles" but I cannot for the life of me edit that part...
*ahem* without hacking.
*bark bark* wingardium leviosa *bark bark*
I learned that cinnamon comes from the bark of a tree...
...but why do the stores sell so much ground cinnamon?
The reason dogs make noise but trees don't is complicated...
But long story short, it's because it's a different kind of bark
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