The prosecutor offered the ballet dancer two choices after she did not pay her mountain of parking tickets. A) Say guilty, pay them off, and get probation for 6 months or B) Say Not Guilty and go to trial and perhaps serve 6 months in jail.

She took plea A.

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πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
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A lot of people don’t believe me when I say I have a favourite Spandeau Ballet song...

... but it’s true.

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πŸ“…︎ Aug 14 2020
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My 7-year old son constantly insists that I use my ballet skills around the house...

He really keeps me on my toes.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Sep 08 2020
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Learning to Ballet dance

That'll keep you on your toes

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πŸ‘€︎ u/megad1rt
πŸ“…︎ Aug 18 2020
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Why was the cow banned from ballet class?

It kept practicing its Dairy Air.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/drozzi007
πŸ“…︎ Jul 18 2020
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Why do ballet dancers change their routine right before the show?

To keep them on their toes.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pritchyy
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2019
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I graduated from ballet university

I got 2:2

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GaryTheKnight
πŸ“…︎ Aug 02 2019
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Note: the Warsaw Ballet doesn't appreciate being referred to as "Pole dancers."
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RonPalancik
πŸ“…︎ May 16 2018
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I watched a video showing the highlights of cattle doing ballet, two things I love.

It was the best of bull twirls.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jollyben
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23 2019
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Did you hear about the criminals doing their water ballet routine in the prison swimming pool?

There were inundated con sequences.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/constantclimb
πŸ“…︎ Sep 29 2018
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I once dated twin sisters who were ballet dancers.

Sure they were attractive, but I was drawn more to two tutus.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2018
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So, i studied ballet at uni

I ended up with a very good 2:2

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bredstikz
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2019
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What do you call a chicken dancing ballet?

Poultry in motion.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/this_is_grand
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2018
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I used to know two birds who excelled in ballet...

They were two toucans.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Brendan_Ly
πŸ“…︎ May 13 2018
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The inventor of the ballet skirt was having trouble finding a name for it...

But then he put tu and tu together.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/snowmansni
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2018
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Went to a ballet performance with my wife...

The choreography was on point.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/knocNload
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2017
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So my plumber is doing this Christmas-time ballet....

He's calling it the Buttcracker.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dunn_with_this
πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2017
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A critically-acclaimed and culturally significant Chinese ballet/film about pressure cooking a small member of the family Myctophidae?

Braise the Red Lanternfish

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πŸ“…︎ Jan 09 2013
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I was asked to illustrate a brain fart

I’m drawing a blank

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ScreaminTom
πŸ“…︎ Aug 29 2020
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I saw a theatre production about puns recently

It was a play on words

πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/granndymadge2
πŸ“…︎ Mar 07 2019
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Asked my daughter why she wasn't dressed for school properly today.

Her: "I'm wearing my uniform; what's wrong with that?"

Me: "Today is national Ballerina Day; you're supposed to wear your ballet attire."

Her: "Today is national Ballerina Day?"

Me: "Yes. Today is national Ballerina Day - it's '2/2'."

Family at table: Groan

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Gatorflier
πŸ“…︎ Feb 02 2015
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What's the difference between a drunk and a ballerina?

One bellies up to the bar. The other ballets up to the barre.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RonPalancik
πŸ“…︎ Feb 09 2017
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My dad and my sister.

My little sister was getting ready for her ballet recital and she went over to my dad to ask him how her tutu looked. He said "Your tutu looks great, but when are you going to graduate to a threethree, or a fourfour?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Agnostalypse
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2013
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Did you hear about the constipated mathematician?

He worked it out with a pencil.

This one courtesy of my wife's ballet instructor.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/pouponstoops
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2014
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Why get certified as a belayer when you can take a dance class...

...And get certified as a ballet-er.

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πŸ“…︎ Jan 05 2017
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My dad and I just pulled off the ultimate dad joke.

So, I have this pair of shoes. They started off as wedge heels. One day, I noticed that the heels were coming off, so I took them off. I can still wear the shoes as ballet flats. Anyway, today my dad walks in and picks up one of the heels. "Look at the poor little lost sole," he said. I responded with a Dream Theater joke that was also very 'dad': "Just send it to the Ministry of Lost Soles!" Then, he picked up both of them. At the exact same time, we said, "Sole mates!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/LadyGaladriel123
πŸ“…︎ Aug 12 2015
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My roommate dadjoked me today[Image]

I had lost my work shoes(ballet style flats) today and couldnt find them. While at my work desk, i found one of my shoes in my purse!! I texted my roommate this weird anomaly and he found a great opportunity to lay down a cheesy response.

http://imgur.com/dx7FTpi

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πŸ‘€︎ u/manami333
πŸ“…︎ Jul 03 2014
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Accidental Dad joke when my brother graduated.

My brother graduated about 4 or 5 years ago now. When he did he phoned my mum to give her the verdict on his grades. I was asleep at the time and she yelled up the stairs to me to tell me the good news.

> Mum: hey! Tom's graduated with a 2:2!

> Me (half asleep): When did he take up ballet?

It took me a while to figure out why my mum was laughing so hard.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/NejKidd
πŸ“…︎ Jun 27 2014
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Tutu

I work in IT for a school district. I was responding to a work order for a teacher at a Jr. High and he had a class in session so I stood quietly in the back until he had a free moment.

Teacher was explaining the objective for the day: "2-1 (two one is blah blah blah), and 2-2 (two two is blah blah blah)

Student: heh you said tutu

Teacher: tutu, yeah I like the ballet. (He makes a curtsy and it was funny because he is a larger guy). I was so hungry once I ate the tutu and it hurt my ballet (as he pats his tummy).

It took a second and the class burst out in laughter.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thai_mish
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2014
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