The holiday is known as Akitu in Akkadian and Kha'b Nissan in Neo Aramaic.

I’m speaking specifically of the time period during the Babylonian empire. I’ve heard that they used a 354-day calendar and added an extra month every few years. But I’ve also heard they used a 360-day calendar. Which is it?

What does biblical scholarship say about the early steps in the development of the modern Hebrew/Jewish calendar; that is how biblical months 1st, 2nd etc were mapped to Babylonian months? Is there discussion about a pre/post exilic or pre/post Persian period shift in occurrence of holidays etc?

Most of what I know/learned relates to how Judeans, especially in the Roman era slowly and contentiously hammered out an arithmetic system that adjusted for seasonal drift. From the (very very little) I've seen, it seems that pre-70 there was definitely some effort to keep holidays roughly within season, but that this wasn't very rigorous.

To give a concrete example: where would Jeremiah's 10th day of the 5th month have occurred for its author in relation to later Judahite, Judean and later on Jewish systems? Is it fair to assume that divergences would have relatively been small (on the order of weeks) and not months?

U guys are all amazing.

Why not 100? Why not 1000? Seems like an odd and arbitrary number

[I have edited this post as a result of this exchange]

Introduction

Every year in December a predictable pattern of memes appears claiming Christmas is a Christian hijack of a pagan festival. These memes are inconsistent on the details of exactly what was hijacked. Sometimes it's the seasonal solstice celebration, sometimes it's the Roman festival Saturnalia, sometimes it's the memorial of the Mesopotamian god Tammuz, sometimes it's the festival of the Roman god Sol Invictus and Mithraism. But they all agree on one point; Christmas was invented as a Christian takeover of an original pagan festival.

For a five minute video version of this post, go here.

Why this bad history persists

Certain standard reference works, such as the New Encyclopedia Britannica and Merriam-Webster's Encyclopedia of World Religions, actually support this claim with soberly written and referenced articles.

>"The reason why Christmas came to be celebrated on December 25 remains uncertain, but most probably the reason is that early Christians wished the date to coincide with the pagan Roman festival marking the “birthday of the unconquered sun” (natalis solis invicti); this festival celebrated the winter solstice, when the days again begin to lengthen and the sun begins to climb higher in the sky." [1]

Internet fact checker Snopes agrees; Christmas was invented to provide an alternative to the celebrations of Mithraism, a rival pagan religion which threatened Christianity.

>"The idea of celebrating the Nativity on December 25 was first suggested early in the fourth century CE, a clever move on the part of Church fathers who wished to eclipse the December 25 festivities of a rival pagan religion, Mithraism, which threatened the existence of Christianity." [2]

This is supported even by more scholarly online sources such as The Conversation, "an independent source of news and views, sourced from the academic and research community".

>"It was chosen by Pope Leo I, bishop of Rome (440-461), to coincide with the Festival of the Saturnalia, when Romans worshipped Saturn, the sun god. ...Leo thought it would distract his Roman congregation from sun worship by celebrating the feast of Christ’s birth on the same day. ...It is true to say that the west

This may/may not be relevant, but it's a rabbit hole I went down thanks to my own associations. I found it interesting and wanted to share, in case you do, too.

1 - Inanna's Descent - link to Venus and underworld

The Sumerian myth of Inanna's Descent tells of the goddess' descent into the underworld, Kur, to observer the funerary rites of her sister's husband. Inanna's sister kills her once she passes through the final gate. Jung talks about this as being an ego death and hero's journey, but what he seems to omit is that Inanna is responsible for her brother-in-law's death, and so her being there was callous. One interesting link here is the "gates" she must pass through to travel to the underworld. Inanna must first get past the gatekeeper, Netti, then shed "mes" to get past each gate. When she finally arrives to the final gate and her sister Ereshkigal, ruler of the underworld, she is naked.

Inanna is linked to Aphrodite and Venus. Some theorize this myth is an allegory about the planet Venus disappearing on the horizon. How does this all tie to Hellier? The goblins are referenced as gatekeepers. The crew keeps getting drawn to caves (the underworld?) to a "dead" god. They also keep running into the idea that these "aliens" are from Venus, or tied to it somehow.

Inanna is revived (I'll skip ahead but do read this myth if you'd like) and finds her husband, Dumuzi (later known as Tammuz), "dressed in his shining me garments." I don't have enough context/knowledge to understand why this enrages her, but people say it indicates Dumuzi didn't grieve her. So in her anger, she condemns him to die. Gallu demons drag him to Kur. Here's a cylinder seal depicting the demons. Later, she feels bad, and so Dumuzi splits his time in Kur with his sister. This is the explanation for the seasons, much like the Greek myth of Persephone.

What stands out to me about gallu demons, is they're birdlike, one well known being Asag (three toes), but the most famous (Babylonian and Assyrian, not Sumerian) is Pazuzu (three toes). It's not uncommon in the Ancient Nea

The month of Ṭebētu lasts for thirty days this year, beginning on 03 January 2022 with the first visibility of a waxing lunar crescent at 7:50 a.m. (as visible from Baghdad, Iraq). An eššeššu festival—during which devotees are encouraged to prepare a cultic meal for their Gods—occurs on 17 January, marking both the the midpoint of the month and the appearance of the Full Moon, visible from 5:40 p.m. until 8:15 a.m. the following morning. The month concludes on the first day of February, accompanied by the New Moon, which goes dark at 8:46 a.m., signaling the advent of the kispū ceremony, during which devotees are encouraged to provide libations for their deceased loved ones.

According to Cohen (Festivals, 438), the month-name Ṭebētu is most likely derived from the Akkadian: ṭebû, “to drown; submerge,” a fitting title for the tenth month of the year, which falls in the middle of Iraq’s winter season and has, on average, a 14% chance of being a “wet day” (defined as a day with at least 0.04 inches of liquid or liquid-equivalent precipitation). Much of this precipitation arrives in the form of rain brought by the southeasterly wind, called šūtu, which becomes active in Iraq from December to April and would have manifested to the peoples of Ancient Mesopotamia as the steadily rising levels of the Tigris and Euphrates rivers, with occasional early flooding.

At the close of the second millennium BCE, when the city of Ur exerted hegemony over the microstates of Southern Mesopotamia, the tenth month of the year was called: iti-ezem-maḫ-diĝir-nanna, “Month of the Festival of Exalted Nanna,” in honor of the tutelary-deity of Ur and moon-god par excellence of Mesopotamia: Nanna. Meteorologically, the tenth month of the year in Iraq sees the dispersal of the previous month’s cloud coverage. This, on the heels of the longest night of the year—the winter or hibernal solstice—would have inspired the people of Ur, to whom it would have appeared as if their principal divinity, the moon-god Nanna, had dispersed the gloom of the season to let his brilliance illuminate the Heavens.

The actual festival, ezem-maḫ-diĝir-nanna, appears to have been celebrated for the entire month, beginning in the city of Ur on day six (08 January) and concluding in the city of Nippur on day twenty-eight (30 January), with a potential visit to the city of Uruk on day twenty-four (26 January). As with most celebrations that spanned multiple days and included a pilgrimage, the purpos

I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.

Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.

https://preview.redd.it/od8zdk17ct281.png?width=3014&format=png&auto=webp&s=eab6cb63ade5777085da90f2e112b994fe605c52

Many threads of Greek and Roman astronomy appear to lead back to a priestly astronomy arising in Mesopotamia some time in the first millennium B.C.

The Babylonians were apparently the first to develop systematic observations of the planets, and they recorded the celestial motions with considerable skill. But in laying the foundations of later astronomy, they also preserved a crucial link with the past. Again and again they asserted a claim that could only appear preposterous to the modern translator. They declared that the distant planets were the gods of former times.

Sumerian myths, we noted earlier, say that the rites and standards of "kingship" descended from the central luminary An, founder of the Golden Age. In Babylonian myth the Sumerian An appears as Anu, first in the line of gods and kings. And according to the best authorities on Babylonian astronomy, the god Anu was mysteriously linked to the planet Saturn. The association was stated most bluntly by the renowned expert on Babylonian astronomy, Peter Jensen, in Die Kosmologie der Babylonier: Anu was Saturn.

What makes this identity stand out is the degree to which one nation after another repeated the same connection. It's an interesting fact, not often noticed, that the ancient Hebrews regarded their race as having been "Saturnian" in the beginning, when they lived under the rule of the creator El. That is, the Hebrews honored the same ancestral tie to Saturn as did the Romans.

Indeed, the consistency with which early astronomies identity Saturn as the former creator-king is extraordinary. The Zoroastrians of ancient Persia knew Saturn as the heaven-sustaining Zurvãn, "the King and Lord of the Long Dominion." The Iranian god-king Yima, a transcript of the Hindu Yama, founder of the Golden Age, was also linked to Saturn. The Chinese mythical emperor Huang-ti, first in a great dynasty of kings and mythical founder of the Taoist religion, was identified astronomically as the planet Saturn. Even the Tahitians recall of the god Fetu-tea, the planet Saturn, that he "was the King."

Many ancient nations commemorated the era before the fall, the harmonious condition of the "first time," by designating one day of the week as a holy day, the Sabbath. But is it significant that originally the Hebrew Sabbath, the seventh day of the week, was the day of Saturn? So

Do your worst!

I'm surprised it hasn't decade.

Wikipedia link

TL;DR, A load of Ukrainian soldiers have a laugh telling Sultan Mehmed IV that he " canst not slay a hedgehog with your naked arse? "(Wikipedia translation)

Gave rise to a massive painting, 203 cmx358 cm.

Really interesting, IMO

So the gist of it goes that these guys from the lower Dnieper river whooped some of Mehmed's troops, so Mehmed figures he may as well just ask them to surrender, rather than go to the trouble of a military conquest.

He sends them a pretty pretentious letter which reads:

>Sultan Mehmed IV to the Zaporozhian Cossacks: As the Sultan; son of Muhammad; brother of the sun and moon; grandson and viceroy of God; ruler of the kingdoms of Macedonia, Babylon, Jerusalem, Upper and Lower Egypt; emperor of emperors; sovereign of sovereigns; extraordinary knight, never defeated; steadfast guardian of the tomb of Jesus Christ; trustee chosen by God Himself; the hope and comfort of Muslims; confounder and great defender of Christians – I command you, the Zaporogian Cossacks, to submit to me voluntarily and without any resistance, and to desist from troubling me with your attacks.
— Turkish Sultan Mehmed IV

The Cossacks see this, and send him the following, which apparently rhymed originally, but unfortunately that didn't survive translation.

Zaporozhian Cossacks to the Turkish Sultan!
O sultan, Turkish devil and damned devil's kith and kin, secretary to Lucifer himself. What the devil kind of knight are thou, that canst not slay a hedgehog with your naked arse? The devil shits, and your army eats. Thou shalt not, thou son of a whore, make subjects of Christian sons. We have no fear of your army; by land and by sea we will battle with thee. Fuck thy mother.
Thou Babylonian scullion, Macedonian wheelwright, brewer of Jerusalem, goat-fucker of Alexandria, swineherd of Greater and Lesser Egypt, pig of Armenia, Podolian thief, catamite of Tartary, hangman of Kamyanets, and fool of all the world and underworld, an idiot before God, grandson of the Serpent, and the crick in our dick. Pig's snout, mare's arse, slaughterhouse cur, unchristened brow. Screw thine own mother!
So the Zaporozhians declare, you lowlife. You won't even be herding pigs for the Christians. Now we'll conclude, for we don't know the date and don't own a calendar; the moon's in the sky, the year with the Lord. The day's the same over here as it is over t

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂

It really does, I swear!

https://preview.redd.it/hhkopae7nj181.jpg?width=1920&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d4cce2153475f29196d6ad194c92ab188ae5e6f2

Faithfully translated word for word, sentence by sentence, cross referencing using dozens of Latin dictionaries from the 17–21st centuries, (both Ecclesiastic and Vulgar Latin) from August 27, 2019–November 9, 2021, are two excerpts from the Latin book “Monarchia Solipsorum” [The Monarchy of Solipses], Chapter 1: “Universalis Archtypus Monarchia Solipsorum” [The Universal Idea of the Monarchy of Solipses], pages 5-7; Chapter 4: “Antiquitas Monarchia Solipsorum” [The Antiquity of the Monarchy of Solipses], pages 17-21, published in Venice during 1645.

Written down by the first hand accounts of Venetian ex-Gesuit Priest, Giulio Clemente Scotti, S.J. published anonymously under the pseudonym “Lucii Cornelii Europaei.” Under the command of Gesuit Superior General, Vincenzo Carafa, S.J., the Roman Inquisition (reestablished by the Gesuits in 1542) were immediately ordered to place this book on the Congregation of the Index, for exposing the Order’s greatest secrets. They falsely attributed Hungarian Gesuit Priest, Melchior Inchofer, S.J. for writing it, but later dismissed him. The book was not seen ever again, until over 100 years in 1753-54 in French, only after the Order had been suppressed by the Supreme Court of France. It has to this day never fully been translated into English, and for good reason…

UNDERSTAND: This word “Solipsorum” (Latin for: Solipses) was the first time it was ever used. In 1645 Giulio Clemente Scotti, S.J., was brought to the point of having to invent an entirely new word in order to be able to describe the Gesuit Order, because no others words were capable. Solips etymologically became the root for another new word which emerged later on, that being “Ego.” Does someone have an ego? They have the spirit of a Gesuit.

>***“The Origins and Historical Development of the Term ‘Solipsism’—The development of the term ‘Solipsism’ is closely related to the development of a group of other terms like ‘Egotism,’ ‘Egoism,’ and ‘Egomism.’ These words are relatively young and have emerged during the Enlightenment. In this period of philosophical innovation many neologisms were formed. Traditional philosophical terms are: ego, individualitas, and persona. Terms derived from Mysticism and rediscovered by the French Quieti

They’re on standbi

Pilot on me!!

Because she wanted to see the task manager.

Nothing, he was gladiator.

Around this time of year, the Christmas story is retold and remembered, so I found it fitting to share with you how part of the Christmas story makes a brief appearance in the Book of Revelation, in chapter 12. Here it is in its entirety. Please take a moment to read it through:

Revelation 12

^(1) And a great sign appeared in heaven: a woman clothed with the sun, with the moon under her feet, and on her head a crown of twelve stars. ^(2) She was pregnant and was crying out in birth pains and the agony of giving birth. ^(3) And another sign appeared in heaven: behold, a great red dragon, with seven heads and ten horns, and on his heads seven diadems. ^(4) His tail swept down a third of the stars of heaven and cast them to the earth. And the dragon stood before the woman who was about to give birth, so that when she bore her child he might devour it. ^(5) She gave birth to a male child, one who is to rule all the nations with a rod of iron [this child has to be Jesus; see Rev 2:27, Rev 19:15, and Psalm 2:9], but her child was caught up to God and to his throne, ^(6) and the woman fled into the wilderness, where she has a place prepared by God, in which she is to be nourished for 1,260 days.

^(7) Now war arose in heaven, Michael and his angels fighting against the dragon. And the dragon and his angels fought back, ^(8) but he was defeated, and there was no longer any place for them in heaven. ^(9) And the great dragon was thrown down, that ancient serpent, who is called the devil and Satan, the deceiver of the whole world—he was thrown down to the earth, and his angels were thrown down with him. ^(10) And I heard a loud voice in heaven, saying, “Now the salvation and the power and the kingdom of our God and the authority of his Christ have come, for the accuser of our brothers has been thrown down, who accuses them day and night before our God. ^(11) And they have conquered him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony, for they loved not their lives even unto death. ^(12) Therefore, rejoice, O heavens and you who dwell in them! But woe to you, O earth and sea, for the devil has come down to you in great wrath, because he knows that his time is short!”

^(13) And when the dragon saw tha

Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.

This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.

If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.

Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.

When I got home, they were still there.

What did 0 say to 8 ?

" Nice Belt "

So What did 3 say to 8 ?

" Hey, you two stop making out "

I won't be doing that today!

[Removed]

Where ever you left it 🤷‍♀️🤭

This morning, my 4 year old daughter.

Daughter: I'm hungry

Me: nerves building, smile widening

Me: Hi hungry, I'm dad.

She had no idea what was going on but I finally did it.

Thank you all for listening.

You take away their little brooms

There hasn't been a post all year!

O sultan, Turkish devil and damned devil’s kith and kin, secretary to Lucifer himself, Greetings! What the devil kind of knight are you, that can’t slay a hedgehog with your naked arse? The devil excretes, and your army eats. You will not, you son of a bitch, make subjects of Christian sons; we’ve no fear of your army, by land and by sea we will battle with thee, fuck your mother.

You Babylonian scullion, Macedonian wheelwright, brewer of Jerusalem, goat-fucker of Alexandria, swineherd of Greater and Lesser Egypt, pig of Armenia, Podolian thief, catamite of Tartary, hangman of Kamyanets, and fool of all the world and underworld, an idiot before God, grandson of the Serpent, and the crick in our dick. Pig’s snout, mare’s arse, slaughterhouse cur, unchristened brow, screw your own mother!

So the Zaporozhians declare, you lowlife. You won’t even be herding pigs for the Christians. Now we’ll conclude, for we don’t know the date and don’t own a calendar; the moon’s in the sky, the year with the Lord, the day’s the same over here as it is over there; for this kiss our arse!

Koshovyi Otaman Ivan Sirko, with the whole Zaporozhian Host.”