A list of puns related to "List of calendars"
My kid surprised me today with a handmade book with dad jokes. Each joke had an associated graphic too as a bonus! I'm so happy I wanted to share the joy with you guys.
These are the 26 jokes (some I've learned from here, but a few of them I've never heard):
I'm afraid for the calendar, its days are numbered.
My wide said I should do lunges to stay in shape. That's a big step forward!
What do a tick and the Eiffel tower have in common? They're both Paris sites.
What do you call a fish wearing a bowtie? Sofishticated.
A skeleton walks into a bar and says - I'll have a beer and a mop please.
Dad, did you get a haircut? No, I got them all cut.
I don't trust trees, they're too shady.
I don't trust stairs, they're always up to something.
Did you hear the rumour about the butter? I did, but I'm not going to spread it!
Why couldn't the bicycle stand by itself? Because it was two-tired.
Why did Billy get fired from the banana packaging factory? He kept trowing away the bent ones.
Why was math so sad? Because of all its problems.
I used to be addicted to soap, but I'm clean now.
A guy walks into a bar and got disqualified from the limbo contest.
Have you ever try to catch fog? I did once, but I mist.
Why did the scarecrow get an award? Because it was outstanding in its field.
What do you call an elephant that doesn't matter? An irrelephant.
I Was going to tell you guys a joke about time travel, but you guys didn't like it.
What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta.
What do you call a belt made of watches? A waste of time.
Mountains aren't just funny, they're hill areas.
Why are piggy banks so wise? Because they're filled with common cents.
Wanna hear a joke about paper? Never mind, it's tearable.
You know, people say they pick their noses, but I feel like I was just born with mine.
What did zero said to eight? That belt looks great on you.
To whoever stole my Microsoft office, I will find you. You have my word.
I hope you find a few new ones too in this list.
My daughter and I have been trading these. Here is our current list - would love to hear more!
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