Daughter: Dad, it's really STUPID out there today. You'd better take your dumbrella.
Me: I've never been more proud.
โBrats are the wurst.โ
She said โthen wear your own one thenโ
Me: nah, he's gonna wonder what I look like.
Her: โWriting a letter.โ
Me: โWhich one? S? K? M?โ
...but what is the opposite of yes?
Me: I had one too many Coronas last night and i'm not feeling that great.
Her:(rolls eyes and leaves the bedroom)
I yelled back: Well why do you keep throwing them away?
I got a very stern look.
".....cuz you got dat assssss, ma!"
I spit out my cornflakes and ironically was laughing so hard I couldn't breathe.
Sunni and Shia
Mans not bot
I responded, "So you are only a babe during full moons?"
https://pbs.twimg.com/media/C1YAA2xXAAE0Tcx.jpg
The team became ruthless.
Wife: Really?? What the hell happened?
Me: They must have been made that way. How else would you be able to get your feet into them?
Wife: eyeroll
God I'm good!
