A mallfunction
In retrospect we shouldnβt have been on that escalator.
So I had to jacket.
I'm the main Claus and he's my subordinate Claus.
Mister mister missed her.
Chopin
The wigmaker offered me a good deal that I was willing toupee for.
the coffee grounds.
Nice gal, her nameβs Ella.
He tries everything he knows to do, but finally calls his father for help.
Mom and Dad come up to mall parking lot, dad gets into the car, turns the key once, and the engine roars to life.
The teenager is shocked at how easy it was.
"Dad! What did you do differently? I tried everything!"
"It was easy son. I'm wearing my cargo shorts."
Sheβs an Opthemallogist
I was at the mall the other day and saw this gentleman sitting outside a store with a stack of flyers. He asked another me as I walked by, βExcuse me sir, would you like a flyer?β I looked down and replied, βYea bro, sure.β
Mallnourished
Her name is Tailor Swift.
It doesnβt make any cents
We passed an IHOP, to which I stated "There it is!"
Couldn't help but wonder why anyone would pay to see that.
It was coincidental
God knows what Santa must have thought of him.
Her: Let's take the escalator.
Me: No, let's just take the esca-now
He turned to his daughter and said "I don't think they're supposed to park here"
Half Off!
Susan B. Anthony
Dad: Hey, you know who I saw at the mall today?
Mom: No, who?
Dad: Don't know, I didn't recognize him either.
Mom: deep sigh
[Dad proceeds to look at me, smiling, to see if I got the joke.]
Whenever we'd look at the mall map, my dad would point at the "you are here" symbol, put on his dad grin, and ask "how do they know where we are?"
And she was a real bargain!
But seriously folks. My wife and I were walking at a mall, around closing time for most stores. She noticed and commented that there was a Kay Jewellers, but being that they were closed, those security wall things were down. I said it was more like a Cage Jewellers
I'm pretty sure they were talking about me.
She was telling me about her renovations of her office at work; Wife: The bathrooms are really nice now. Me: Really? How? Wife: They're only one at a time and they have fans. Me: What do the fans do? Cheer for you as you go? A little salt n peppa?
Ahhh push it. Push it real good!
Me: Why can't I ever find my size?! Are my feet just freakishly huge?
Dad: (smiling) well you know what they say about guys with big feet right?
Me: (smirking) what?
Dad: (with a straight face) big socks....
"Wow, where do you think all those kids come from?"
"Their homes."
