A list of puns related to "Assault Weapons"
She's been charged for assault with a breadly weapon
I just scared my daughter as I was carrying a bag of frozen rolls. She thought I was going to hit her with them and that would be child abuse.
I told her no, it wouldn't be child abuse. It would be assault with a breadly weapon...
I told her she was going to jail for assault with a breadly weapon.
He got in a fight and was arrested for assault with a dead Lee weapon
Assault with a breadly weapon.
...you could get be charged with 'assault with a dad-ly weapon'.
...the jerk had me charged; assault with a breadly weapon.
The judge called it 'Assault with a Dadly Weapon'
I work in an office with 2 other guys and we all get along very well. Once every other week, a cleaning crew comes in to sweep, dust, mop etc.
One of the cleaning crew had a duster out and was dusting my coworkers desk. He told the lady to hit me with the duster as I was acting silly as usual. She said she couldn't as she would go to jail for battery. I said, "No. You would go to jail for assault with a dusty weapon."
The audible groans and chuckles were fuel to my dad humoured fire.
It was assault with a medley weapon!
Assault with a deadly weapon!
(picks up the salt shaker and his knife)
Dad: Assault, with a deadly weapon!
Me:That's one of my specialties! Yesterday when one of my coworkers playfully hit me with curtains I threatened to have her arrested for assault with a thread-ly weapon.
Her: That's so cheesy, but so gouda.
M: Hearing you say that makes me feel grate!
H: Course! I couldn't just let it brie without returning with a different pun. :)
M: I'm so glad we curd share this moment, it keeps me from feeling bleu.
H: Are you stilton going on about this? It could be seen as a provelone.
M: No Whey! Really? I accepted Cheeses into my life a long time ago.
H: Well, I believe that there is more out there than Cheeses, with your Parmesan I could continue. Too bad I am bread tired, and wish to be loafing around. Good night and sweet dreams
M: Well, early to Bread early to Rise, as they say. You have sweet dreams. Oh, and don't ask Rye if I'm in them
He went to jail for assault with a breadly weapon.
Did you hear about the guy who made nunchucks from Bruce Lee's bones? He got in a fight and was arrested for assault with a dead Lee weapon
...can he be charged with assault with a breadly weapon?
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