I guess I'll give it the old collage try.
I wanted my report card to spell out F art
It seemed a little sketchy.
He sets it on a plinth and tells the students they’re free to take a couple after class is over. Halfway through teaching the senpai or sensei’s assistant approaches and tells him he has an important phone call. He tells the class to find a partner and practice. He comes back fifteen minutes later and the plinth is knocked over, the bowl is in pieces and the wontons crushed and scattered about. He is dismayed that his students would engage in such sensei-less wonton destruction.
But it was too sketchy for me. Something drew me away from it
Son: "But, I don't even take won do!"
It was called Tae-one-toe
What do you call it when someone mislabels a colour? A false acHUEsation!
And when my girlfriend showed her piece, he scolded and critiqued her...In defense of my girlfriend I quickly shouted, "Hey, that's where I draw the line! You need to easel up on my girlfriend!"
He wasn't amused.
Now the entire student body is in chalk.
...and one of his students asked what he knew besides Judo. He said "Well I also know Karate and at least three other Japanese words."
After only 4 weeks he was a black belt in Tae Kwon Dough
I'm starting to think the therapist didn't make a spelling mistake.
- Like all cherished things in this covid-crazy world, the O.Henry Museum’s famous free, family friendly celebration of the wit-in-word will take place virtually in cyberspace this year. With an awesome live cast of lively wits and tortured tongues, the online audience will be treated to all the linguistic twists, dramatic turns, and surprise endings they’ve groan to love. Expect to witness wacky word butchers and voracious verbivores from around the globe, all worming their way into your ears. Tongues of tradition, tension and camaraderie make this the premier event for the world's competitive wordplay community
- Brought to you this year by the City of Austin, Brush Square Museums Foundation, and co- sponsored by Austin's very own Fantastic Magic Camp, as well as the internationally renowned podcast, Pun Intensive, The O. Henry Museum Pun-Off World Championships Punslingers Competition: Online Edition will commence Saturday, November 21, 2020
- Preliminary live rounds begin Saturday, November 21, 2020, at 11:00am CST, lasting about 2 hours. Later that evening, live competition resumes at 7:00pm CST with head-to-head prime time heats. - See Pun-Off.com for schedule details, links, and more.
[Austin, TX, November 1, 2020] - Although traditionally held outdoors on a single day in the spring, the first portion 2020 the O. Henry Museum Pun-Off competition known as Punniest of Show was conducted via video in October. Now on Saturday, November 21, 2020, PARD will bring you their most popular second segment, O. Henry Museum Pun-Off World Championships Punslingers Competition: Online Edition
This free, fun, and family friendly event will take place online this year, but with special twists, turns, and surprise modifications to make it the perfect 2020 event for the world's competitive wordplay community.
The O. Henry Museum Pun-Off World Championships have been an Austin institution for 43 years. As usual, the contest will feature a cavalcade of word-class wordsmiths from across the globe, all worming their way into your art. Join and enjoy us as they compete to spontaneously spit out the most absurd words you’ve ever heard.
The event will be live streamed at PunIntensive.com.
Art class: Pencil Drawing 101
...but the art class is where I draw the line.
Today was the first day of his class, Special Topics in Poetry. We walk in and there is a guest with some ceramic art. We thought we were gonna write poems about it or some shit, but then the professor says, "Welcome to special topics in pottery."
The whole class is like wat...?
Then the guest lady starts showing a powerpoint of some of her work and then we literally spent the whole class mushing clay and making bowls and shit.
To make things even dadder, he chuckled "poetry pottery heh heh heh" like we didn't get the joke and he had to explain it to us.
Some background, I'm taking Listening to Jazz this semester to fill my arts credit. Last week the professor talked about musicians Miles Davis and John Coltrane, and their albums Kind of Blue and A Love Supreme.
During class he was trying to explain to us what the difference between different kinds of jazz were. So he pulled all the students wearing blue and asked each student he pulled to describe their shade of blue. I was picked and when it was my turn, I just looked at him and said "My shirt looks... Kind of Blue" referencing a Miles Davis' album. My professor double face palmed and was so disgusted by me I almost felt bad for laughing. He threatened to give me a 3 page essay on why that was the worst answer I could've given.
My cousin's girlfriend (CGF) is a primary school teacher and last night we were discussing her class size and the subjects she teaches.
Me: "How big are the classes you teach"
CGF: "ive got 28 in english and maths, 30 in science and 28 in topics"
Me: "What on earth is topics?"
CGF: "oh its stuff like history, R.S, Art, Geography and all that stuff"
Me (With the biggest grin on my face holding back laughter): "OH, THE HUMANITIES"
my girlfreind and CGF groan, me and cousin laugh and high five.
Sidenote. My couisn is one of the biggest dad jokers ive ever met, so he really apreciated the terrible joke.
So, I teach Spanish at a small liberal arts college in the Carolinas. This morning my basic Spanish class was going over a reading comprehension exercise about a clothing store called "Corona." Corona means 'crown' in English. The ad had all kinds of words dealing with royalty, kings, and so on in it, and I wanted to go over the double meanings. So, to start, I asked them, "¿Cómo se dice 'corona' en inglés?" To a student, they all answered, "Beer."
I groaned and dismissed them five minutes early so I could laugh without them seeing me.
She me a picture of herself with black charcoal all over her hands and face from working on one of her projects.
Her: Art school life is rough.
Me: What class, coal mining?
Her: Yeah.
Me: So you're an art major coal minor?
Her: (rolls eyes and tries not laugh)
