I heard this gem at Arches National Park.

A boy is resting on the trail back to camp as his dad waits for him and as I am walking by this happens...

Dad: "So when we get back to camp remind me to spray bug spray around your boots."

Son: "Why?"

Dad: "So that the ants wont climb up your pants and bite your candy ass."

๐Ÿ‘︎ 16
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/munkadelix
๐Ÿ“…︎ Aug 28 2013
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Who is William DeFoeโ€™s arch enemy?

William DeFriend

๐Ÿ‘︎ 24
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/killer_sobe87
๐Ÿ“…︎ Mar 31 2021
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If the arch of your foot keeps hurting and there's nothing you can do about it...

Does that make it your... arch nemesis?

๐Ÿ‘︎ 3
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/ObsidianOtter
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 12 2021
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The gateway arch of puns
๐Ÿ‘︎ 47
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๐Ÿ“…︎ Sep 30 2020
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What did the butcher say as his arch nemesis ran away?

We will meat again!

๐Ÿ‘︎ 6
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Rabid_Badger_83
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 24 2020
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Did you hear about Putin's arch enemy?

His name was Mr.Takeout (before he killed himself with a mysterious bullet to the back of the head)

๐Ÿ‘︎ 2
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/vagabondsadhu
๐Ÿ“…︎ Sep 09 2020
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Arch Enemies.
๐Ÿ‘︎ 167
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/swatmax1
๐Ÿ“…︎ Sep 04 2019
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Arch Angels
๐Ÿ‘︎ 79
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Succ_4_V-Buck
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 20 2019
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Don't have a cow about this one
๐Ÿ‘︎ 72
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Levictual0
๐Ÿ“…︎ Sep 19 2020
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Arch enemies [x-post from r/funny]
๐Ÿ‘︎ 770
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/RabbitGuySentMe
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 13 2017
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Do you think geologists have an event around this time of the year called Arch Madness?
๐Ÿ‘︎ 4
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/YaBoiJFlo
๐Ÿ“…︎ Mar 08 2019
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My arch enemy pointed at my T-shirt which read "Never forget WW2" and said "I bet you're so stupid you don't even know what the second W stands for".

I stared dead at them, pointed, and said "This means War!"

๐Ÿ‘︎ 3
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/jbitel
๐Ÿ“…︎ Sep 21 2018
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Who is vin diesel's arch enemy?

Vin gasoline

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Uglyoldbob
๐Ÿ“…︎ Aug 03 2018
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"Okay, I did learn one interesting thing," Gabe admitted.

He was finally doing the reading for his history class. "Did you know that Bin Laden was planning to blow up monuments in other American cities?"

"I bet St. Louis was next on his list," I nodded.

"How'd you know that, Dad?" he asked in surprise.

"Well, he was our arch-enemy."

๐Ÿ‘︎ 6
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/cja1968
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 21 2020
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Tom Swiftie: โ€œWho rounded off the top of this doorway?โ€ Tom said archly.
๐Ÿ‘︎ 2
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Eroe777
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 07 2018
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Ha get the pun?
๐Ÿ‘︎ 118
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/shavedknees
๐Ÿ“…︎ Mar 11 2019
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Some heel must have started it.
๐Ÿ‘︎ 3k
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Dankmonseiur69
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 16 2017
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My friend hurt his foot walking around a St.Louis landmark...

It was the Arch.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/thomasbrakeline
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 16 2020
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There is a portal I just can't get through.

It's my arch nemesis.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 6
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Calthropstu
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 23 2020
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My ex-best friend used to be really nice to me, but ever since they found out I have flat feet, they've been mean to me and bullying me over it.

They're my arch-nemesis now.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 56
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Azarathos
๐Ÿ“…︎ Feb 18 2019
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Got dad joked into next week at work

I work at a supplement retail store and usually greet people with "Hey! How are you today? What brings you in today?" and usually people will just tell me what they are looking for. So, I did the same thing to a man ~50 years old today, but instead of the usual response I get, he just responded with "My feet."

10/10. Would be dad-joked again.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 104
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/SnapCrack1ePop
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 25 2015
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Why do Castle doors have their locks so far above the ground?

Because of the higher-key

๐Ÿ‘︎ 5
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/TheFifthStep
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 10 2017
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Poorly made shoes...

...are my arch enemy.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 10
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Buglepost
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 01 2018
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Boston Knock Knock Joke

Knock knock.

Whoโ€™s there?

Arch.

Arch who?

Bless you.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 2
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Jayrandomer
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 01 2018
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My father pulled this as we watched transformers

What do you call an upbeat, positive robot?

Optimistic Prime

๐Ÿ‘︎ 15
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/UMsuxD
๐Ÿ“…︎ Mar 12 2015
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What do you call your rival memelord?

Your arch memesis.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 6
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/nickbyfate
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jul 07 2018
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My friend's dad dropped this one about marijuana

"If they sold marijuana at the St. Louis Arch, it would literally be a gateway drug..."

๐Ÿ‘︎ 58
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/lodlob
๐Ÿ“…︎ Aug 09 2015
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What did the monochrome say to the rainbow?

Oh no! My arch nemesis!

๐Ÿ‘︎ 10
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/craftynoodle
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 15 2016
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