It ap-piers to be the sea-son for sea puns
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BanAllPineapples
πŸ“…︎ Mar 17 2019
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[ACTUAL QUOTE] A$AP Rocky was released from Swedish prison today. Donald Trump's tweet in response to his release:

"A$AP Rocky released from prison and on his way home to the United States from Sweden. It was a Rocky Week, get home ASAP A$AP!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/gentlesir123
πŸ“…︎ Aug 02 2019
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AP chem teacher dadjoked me

"How long is this test?"

"About 11 inches"

Edit: Didn't think it'd be too big of a deal but I put "AP" just from habit, didn't think about it much. For those that don't know, "AP" means "Advanced Placement".

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JasonSmi
πŸ“…︎ Sep 12 2014
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My AP Statistics Teacher is Clearly a Dad

Teacher: β€œWhat will next week’s test be on?”

Class: β€œConfidence intervals and….”

Teacher: β€œNo, it’ll be on paper.”

Class: β€œUgh…”

Teacher: β€œAnd how long will it be?”

Class: β€œUmm, like, ten questions?”

Teacher: β€œNo, 8.5 by 11 inches.”

Class: β€œGoddamnit.”

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πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2014
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My AP Econ teacher must be a dad

I DEMAND that you SUPPLY me with answers to the following questions:

p. 96 #'s 1, 2, 3, 6, 8, 9, & 11 finish for Monday

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PeterDhugeD
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2014
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AP Biology teacher was giving us a verbal quiz, when a question with the answer "hormones" comes up.

After several fruitless attempts at trying to get us to say "hormones," he cracks this one:

"What noise comes out of a brothel?

Whore-moans!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mydogsnameisdixie
πŸ“…︎ Oct 05 2013
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If people are coughing and sneezing so much outside…

Wouldn't that just be ap-pollen.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DENelson83
πŸ“…︎ Mar 10 2021
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Why did the banana always stare at his reflection?

Because he thought he was very apPEELing

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MangoAway17
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2020
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My son said his friend wanted to know about history but was hesitant about learning.

I told him that all it takes is... APUSH. (AP U.S History) Sorry if this wasn’t as funny as it sounded in my head.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Yeet_Boi21
πŸ“…︎ Aug 09 2020
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What's the worst time to tell a dad joke?

Son day.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/IgnoranceIsAVirus
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2020
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Remember Matt Damon?

I met a stranger oβ€Œβ€Œn tβ€Œβ€Œhe tβ€Œβ€Œube tβ€Œβ€Œhe oβ€Œβ€Œther dβ€Œβ€Œay. He didn't say 'hello', as a normal person might. Instead, he sβ€Œβ€Œaid, "β€Œβ€ŒRemember Matt Damon".

That seems a little bit weird... but it gets weirder. The next day, I passed the same fellow on the street, while I was out walking my dog. He called out to me once again, "Remember Matt Damon".

But I finally cracked it and called the cops after the SAME guy tβ€Œβ€Œapped oβ€Œβ€Œn mβ€Œβ€Œy bedroom wβ€Œβ€Œindow, aβ€Œβ€Œt 1β€Œβ€Œ1.30 pm last nβ€Œβ€Œight. He called to me, loud enough for me to clearly hear him through the glass, "β€Œβ€ŒRemember Matt Damon."

My conversation with the police then went like this:

Me: Officer, I think I have a stalker.

Policeman: can you tell me anything about this person?

Me: Well... uhhh... he reminds me of Matt Damon...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/td941
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2020
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Mitsubishi

A few years ago, I bought my first car. A Mitsubishi. I didn't have much money, so I was glad the dealership worked with my. I was so excited I went to see my grandfather. I said, "Grandpa, I got a Mitsubishi, zero down!"

He looked at me and said, "When I was your age, I also got a Mitsubishi Zero down."

from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ApOfbxpL4Dg&lc=Ugw87PmwOat4WPlRvQR4AaABAg

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tfowler11
πŸ“…︎ Feb 06 2020
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Why did the banana put on make-up?

To look more ap-peel-ing!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Owens2k3
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2018
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Got a new job as a church bell ringer.

Only my first day so they're just showing me the ropes.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/IAMBiSH
πŸ“…︎ Feb 28 2017
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When does a joke become a dad joke?

When it’s ApParent

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Byrotgedragon
πŸ“…︎ Mar 24 2019
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I feel like some people here can't even tell when a joke is a dad joke

...you can tell when it becomes apparent.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BringOutTheGMMP
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2018
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How many sneezes do you sneeze before the sneezes start to annoy you?

A phew!
Aaaaphew!
Aphew!
Aphew!
Aphew!
Aphew!
Aphew!

^s^o^r^r^y

Aphew!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jaggington
πŸ“…︎ Feb 24 2018
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History Dad Joke

In my AP European History Class, we have to a Long Essay Question. For our final, we are allowed to pick from two different questions. We had done a lot of preparing in class for the Long Essay Question. It was most commonly abbreviated as LEQ. (ELL IEH KIYU). So on the day of my test:

Me: Hey Mr. [teacher], do you know my friend Ellie? She was in your class last year.

Teacher: Uhh, last name?

Me: Q

Teacher: That was awful

Me: Do I get extra credit for that?

Teacher: No.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Acceptable_Bottle
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2019
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My friend knows me so well. He’s bought several crates of Czech lager and has invited me over...

That definitely apPils to me

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πŸ‘€︎ u/KubaKomorebi
πŸ“…︎ Mar 22 2019
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I'm trying to come up with a punny name for a trivia game I'm working on.

It's an AP Human Geography class, and I need a name for a board game. Anything to do with pop. culture vs. folk culture would be awesome and I heard you guys are good at this.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Cagegasm
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26 2013
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BEE PUNS

Hey guys, I am working on a video project for AP Calc and am doing the bee move, but everytime they say bee a formula is introduced, then the next time an example. We are writing the formulas on yellow paper and writing in black sharpies because black amd yellow, black and yellow, black and yellow, ahh yellow and black. Anyqay, I need space fillers on the sheets of paper, so bee puns! I need a bunch, so do your thing!

We are also dressing up in bee costumes to take pictures of the formulas amd photoshopping our teachers face onto Barry Bee Benson

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jmm8398
πŸ“…︎ May 13 2017
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My friend will be a great dad

I'm an Asian and my friend and I have AP Calculus together and he sits right next to me. I had trouble with a derivative and our conversation went along the lines of:
me: I don't know how to do this derivative.
friend: Well you see, you're Asian so you're bad at deriving.
me: groan^1000 ^hot ^fiery ^suns

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πŸ‘€︎ u/yellananner
πŸ“…︎ Nov 04 2014
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What does a nosy pepper do?

Gets Jal-ap-eno businesssss....

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JiMiFeNDRiX
πŸ“…︎ Mar 12 2018
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Is β€œdadjokes” just a euphemism for really bad jokes?

Ap-parent-ly, yes.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dddaavviiddd
πŸ“…︎ Feb 07 2018
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The first comment, classic dad

I was watching this video about how to unlock safe and the first comment made me laugh. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ApJQ2wcYjBo

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jeanleonino
πŸ“…︎ Apr 11 2017
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What do all dad jokes have in common?

The punch lines are ap-parent.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Gatewalk
πŸ“…︎ Jun 26 2017
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Wait for it......

http://i.imgur.com/QaHijAp.png

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MEuRaH
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2017
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What did the disabled banana do after he got ripped off by social security?

He filed an ap-peel.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/KryFuZe
πŸ“…︎ Jun 16 2017
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My teacher pulled this one on us today...

We're in AP Comp Sci learning about converting to hex values.

He writes up on the board: B9 (a hex value)

Teacher: (After explaining how to convert) So that's about it, class. To be honest, it's really pretty benign (points to B9)

Laughter and groans ensued.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/rb612
πŸ“…︎ Aug 21 2014
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Dad joked my friend on holiday.

We're looking for hostels in Budapest on the Internet, and she says "Don't know where to stay. Do you know what the centre of Budapest is?" I replied "It's 'ap'."

She ignored me.

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πŸ“…︎ Jun 25 2016
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Guest speaker dad joke.

So we had a guest speaker in my class today, (victimology). He had just finished introduced himself and since we have a smaller class he wanted everyone to introduce themselves as well. He wanted to know our names career path ideas, and one interesting fact. Everyone's going around saying the typical stuff in a criminal just class and not very interesting facts. Then a fellow student states her interesting fact that she has never peeled a banana. Everyone was kinda shocked, and when asked why she had explained that she got really sick one time when she was young after having eaten a banana given to her by her mom, (pre peeled). He then looked at her and said, "well I can see why you don't find them very apPEALing...." And then burst out into laughter.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/laxerado1313
πŸ“…︎ Nov 04 2013
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Stalin the Last Vodka Bender

Vodka…Vodka…Vodka…Vodka Long ago, the 4 dictatorships lived together in harmony. Then everything changed when the Mao Nation Attacked. Only the Stalin, master of the four elements, could stop them. But when the world needed him most, he vanished (to his underground bunker filled with bottles of vodka). A hundred years past and my fellow AP Euro students discovered the new Leader, a vodka master named Stalin. And although his vodka is great, he still has a lot to chug before he’s ready to out drink anyone. But I believe Stalin can drink it all.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AWimpyAsianKid
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2013
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Dad just sent me this stupid email. Still made me laugh.

http://imgur.com/apZ10b5

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πŸ‘€︎ u/wtfjen
πŸ“…︎ Jun 04 2015
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We had dinner at my parents house and my daughter was only eating the sugar snap peas

My dad: "they must be very ap-peas-ing to her taste buds"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/readit16
πŸ“…︎ Sep 03 2015
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I always thought my dad jokes didn't apply to my dad until tonight.

I'm 17 and live with my parents, and my sister, niece, and nephew (who is 6) were over for dinner tonight, and we were talking about grades.
Me: I think I have a B in AP Biology.
Nephew: I got a B once.
Dad: Did it sting you?
Us: -_-

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Phoenix_Fury7
πŸ“…︎ Oct 06 2013
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My history teacher cracked this one

We were doing early morning review sessions for AP euro. I was running late and instead of cooking breakfast, I just grabbed a package of ramen noodles to eat in review.

While in review, I was happily munching on my 'breakfast' when my teacher walked up to me. The following conversation ensued.

Teacher: What are you eating?

Me: Just some ramen.

Teacher: Raw?

Me: Yeah, I like it raw.

Teacher: You don't cook it?

Me: Sometimes when I have the time.

Teacher: Well, you know, if you cooked it, it wouldn't be RAWmen.

groan

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Gazzy7890
πŸ“…︎ Jul 15 2014
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I need mole puns

On October 23 (6.02x10^23) in my chem class we celebrate mole day. You have to make a project revolving around a mole pun. This year I did MoleDemort and printed a life size Voldemort with a mole head, but I'm out of ideas for Chem 2 AP next year. Want to get ideas early on, any suggestions? Some examples already taken that I don't want to repeat: Darth Mole Moleverine

I will add more as I remember, or if you come up with one that's already done.

Thanks in advance.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/survivalking4
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2017
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How do you know when a joke becomes a dad joke?

When it becomes ap-parent

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Emister_Dibster
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2017
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