You only have to lose an electron just before midnight.
Everyone I ask can't remember either.
The wedding was ok, but the reception was fantastic!
Hey guys, relatively new dad here. Pretty proud of myself because this came naturally. My 7 mo daughter, wife and I were hiking yesterday. My daughter was strapped to the front of me, and she started to stink. We found a field to lay her on her changing mat and change her diaper. She had a complete explosion so it required an outfit change. I looked up at my wife and said “looks like I’ll be performing a field dressing”. Corny af I know, but it made my wife laugh 😆!
-Why do you want a Ford?
-Because its af-Ford-able!
I was hungry af yesterday and I called my dad to buy something to eat
Me: Dad, I'm Hungry
Dad: Hey hungry, I'm dad!
All these years I was so cautious not to fall for it and yesterday was the first time my guard was lowered and he used the opportunity!
Too bad I can't af-ford one.
Af"FORD"able
Those dudes are royal AF
The Air Force, because they're US AF.
Even if you can't af-Ford it, Holden onto a vintage car is fun.
(just in case I need to mention it: Ford & Holden are two car manufacturers who've been in Australia for a long time)
I guess you could say it made transportation more afFORDable :)
Trying to make it to the theater on time for a show, with my 12 year old daughter next to me, stuck behind a very slow-moving Cadillac Escalade. Suddenly I throw up some gang symbols and scream "Yo, move it, Escalade, befo things get... Escaladed!"
Daughter goes "omigod" and buries her face in her hands.
^#AirPlaneModeAF ;)
I couldn't af-Ford it.
So every night for the past almost 6 years I sing her the Sunshine Song
You know, "you are my Sunshine, my only sunshine."
And after a few years I got tired of it and would start songs from the nightmare before Christmas (because I'm a big elfman nerd) and Part of your world (because I'm completely obsessed with singing out of key chick verses and the little mermaid is dope af) but she would SCREAM anytime I started anything that wasn't the Sunshine song, I love this, so I go on for a couple bars while she's screaming then calm her down and sing the right song. To be fair, she likes the I'm On The Outside by boingo, so I belt that too. Although it's only acceptable in the car.
Now here I want to add that in the description of the event I will place a * where she interrupts me and the words immediately after that * will be her words.
Ok, so she's in bed just now and I said What song do you want me to sing?
Obvs sunshine dude.
So I start with the "look at this stuff, isn't it neat?"
And she's not screaming, she has a smile on her face so my mind is like "did she become ok with this, can I finally sing a different song than sunshine and eponas song?" So I keep going thinking that I finally won.
I get to the line, "Fliiping your fins, you won't get too **fart!"
I'm fucking dead this kid played me like a fiddle.
Someone call 911 I'm ded
"I have a Wishitwasa."
Wishitwasa?
"Yeah, Wishitwasa Ferrari... Wishitwasa a Mercedes... Wishitwasa a Jaguar... a Wishitwasa."
Followed by a short sigh and, "I'll take whatever I can afFORD."
The ole' dad joke twofer.
Its just so bear http://i.imgur.com/RuAfKJ0.jpg?1
The Air Force; they're US AF
