APS Puns

"How long is this test?"

"About 11 inches"

Edit: Didn't think it'd be too big of a deal but I put "AP" just from habit, didn't think about it much. For those that don't know, "AP" means "Advanced Placement".

"A$AP Rocky released from prison and on his way home to the United States from Sweden. It was a Rocky Week, get home ASAP A$AP!"

Teacher: “What will next week’s test be on?”

Class: “Confidence intervals and….”

Teacher: “No, it’ll be on paper.”

Class: “Ugh…”

Teacher: “And how long will it be?”

Class: “Umm, like, ten questions?”

Teacher: “No, 8.5 by 11 inches.”

Class: “Goddamnit.”

I DEMAND that you SUPPLY me with answers to the following questions:

p. 96 #'s 1, 2, 3, 6, 8, 9, & 11 finish for Monday

Ap-pear-ent

Wouldn't that just be ap-pollen.

Because he thought he was very apPEELing

Son day.

I told him that all it takes is... APUSH. (AP U.S History) Sorry if this wasn’t as funny as it sounded in my head.

I met a stranger o‌‌n t‌‌he t‌‌ube t‌‌he o‌‌ther d‌‌ay. He didn't say 'hello', as a normal person might. Instead, he s‌‌aid, "‌‌Remember Matt Damon".

That seems a little bit weird... but it gets weirder. The next day, I passed the same fellow on the street, while I was out walking my dog. He called out to me once again, "Remember Matt Damon".

But I finally cracked it and called the cops after the SAME guy t‌‌apped o‌‌n m‌‌y bedroom w‌‌indow, a‌‌t 1‌‌1.30 pm last n‌‌ight. He called to me, loud enough for me to clearly hear him through the glass, "‌‌Remember Matt Damon."

My conversation with the police then went like this:

Me: Officer, I think I have a stalker.

Policeman: can you tell me anything about this person?

Me: Well... uhhh... he reminds me of Matt Damon...

A few years ago, I bought my first car. A Mitsubishi. I didn't have much money, so I was glad the dealership worked with my. I was so excited I went to see my grandfather. I said, "Grandpa, I got a Mitsubishi, zero down!"

He looked at me and said, "When I was your age, I also got a Mitsubishi Zero down."

from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ApOfbxpL4Dg&lc=Ugw87PmwOat4WPlRvQR4AaABAg

To look more ap-peel-ing!

Only my first day so they're just showing me the ropes.

When it’s ApParent

When it becomes ap-parent

A phew!
Aaaaphew!
Aphew!
Aphew!
Aphew!
Aphew!
Aphew!

^s^o^r^r^y

Aphew!

In my AP European History Class, we have to a Long Essay Question. For our final, we are allowed to pick from two different questions. We had done a lot of preparing in class for the Long Essay Question. It was most commonly abbreviated as LEQ. (ELL IEH KIYU). So on the day of my test:

Me: Hey Mr. [teacher], do you know my friend Ellie? She was in your class last year.

Teacher: Uhh, last name?

Me: Q

Teacher: That was awful

Me: Do I get extra credit for that?

Teacher: No.

That definitely apPils to me

It's an AP Human Geography class, and I need a name for a board game. Anything to do with pop. culture vs. folk culture would be awesome and I heard you guys are good at this.

Hey guys, I am working on a video project for AP Calc and am doing the bee move, but everytime they say bee a formula is introduced, then the next time an example. We are writing the formulas on yellow paper and writing in black sharpies because black amd yellow, black and yellow, black and yellow, ahh yellow and black. Anyqay, I need space fillers on the sheets of paper, so bee puns! I need a bunch, so do your thing!

We are also dressing up in bee costumes to take pictures of the formulas amd photoshopping our teachers face onto Barry Bee Benson

I'm an Asian and my friend and I have AP Calculus together and he sits right next to me. I had trouble with a derivative and our conversation went along the lines of:
me: I don't know how to do this derivative.
friend: Well you see, you're Asian so you're bad at deriving.
me: groan^1000 ^hot ^fiery ^suns

Gets Jal-ap-eno businesssss....

Ap-parent-ly, yes.

I was watching this video about how to unlock safe and the first comment made me laugh. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ApJQ2wcYjBo

The punch lines are ap-parent.

http://i.imgur.com/QaHijAp.png

He filed an ap-peel.

We're in AP Comp Sci learning about converting to hex values.

He writes up on the board: B9 (a hex value)

Teacher: (After explaining how to convert) So that's about it, class. To be honest, it's really pretty benign (points to B9)

Laughter and groans ensued.

We're looking for hostels in Budapest on the Internet, and she says "Don't know where to stay. Do you know what the centre of Budapest is?" I replied "It's 'ap'."

She ignored me.

So we had a guest speaker in my class today, (victimology). He had just finished introduced himself and since we have a smaller class he wanted everyone to introduce themselves as well. He wanted to know our names career path ideas, and one interesting fact. Everyone's going around saying the typical stuff in a criminal just class and not very interesting facts. Then a fellow student states her interesting fact that she has never peeled a banana. Everyone was kinda shocked, and when asked why she had explained that she got really sick one time when she was young after having eaten a banana given to her by her mom, (pre peeled). He then looked at her and said, "well I can see why you don't find them very apPEALing...." And then burst out into laughter.

Vodka…Vodka…Vodka…Vodka Long ago, the 4 dictatorships lived together in harmony. Then everything changed when the Mao Nation Attacked. Only the Stalin, master of the four elements, could stop them. But when the world needed him most, he vanished (to his underground bunker filled with bottles of vodka). A hundred years past and my fellow AP Euro students discovered the new Leader, a vodka master named Stalin. And although his vodka is great, he still has a lot to chug before he’s ready to out drink anyone. But I believe Stalin can drink it all.

http://imgur.com/apZ10b5

My dad: "they must be very ap-peas-ing to her taste buds"

I'm 17 and live with my parents, and my sister, niece, and nephew (who is 6) were over for dinner tonight, and we were talking about grades.
Me: I think I have a B in AP Biology.
Nephew: I got a B once.
Dad: Did it sting you?
Us: -_-

We were doing early morning review sessions for AP euro. I was running late and instead of cooking breakfast, I just grabbed a package of ramen noodles to eat in review.

While in review, I was happily munching on my 'breakfast' when my teacher walked up to me. The following conversation ensued.

Teacher: What are you eating?

Me: Just some ramen.

Teacher: Raw?

Me: Yeah, I like it raw.

Teacher: You don't cook it?

Me: Sometimes when I have the time.

Teacher: Well, you know, if you cooked it, it wouldn't be RAWmen.

groan

On October 23 (6.02x10^23) in my chem class we celebrate mole day. You have to make a project revolving around a mole pun. This year I did MoleDemort and printed a life size Voldemort with a mole head, but I'm out of ideas for Chem 2 AP next year. Want to get ideas early on, any suggestions? Some examples already taken that I don't want to repeat: Darth Mole Moleverine

I will add more as I remember, or if you come up with one that's already done.

Thanks in advance.