I speak Atrocian
Because he did it on porpoise...
Re-Morse code.
The Prince of the vultures had always been a rebel, but he surprised everyone when he announced he was going to be a vegetarian. And nobody expected this to divide the vulture kingdom, with nearly half the vultures supporting the Prince's choice. Tempers flared, and civil war was brewing when the Prince burst into the King's chambers.
"Father," he cried, "I never meant to cause this. I'll do anything you say to reunite the kingdom. Please, Father, what should I eat?"
The King set a plate of roadkill in front of the Prince, and said "Carrion, my wayward son. There'll be peace when you are done."
He doesn’t even get paid, but he has to put up with all this shit.
He swallowed his pride.
Whatever I said, whatever I did I didn't mean it.
Apparently I'm the only one that could've prevented them
I said, “Sorry about the repost.”
“I must have taken Lief off my census”.
Remorse Code.
You boil the hell out of it.
(Apologies if this has been posted before.)
But she's not suede
He speaks with the officer, who assigns him his post.
"Go stand at the periscope entry-way, and make sure no unauthorized personnel touch the periscope."
The recruit follows orders, and stands by the periscope. After 15 minutes, the officer stops by.
"Son I'm changing your post to the mess hall. Go in there and start washing some dishes."
The recruit obeys, and heads to the mess hall. He's cleaned about 3 dishes when the officer walks up again.
"Listen here recruit, your new post is in the supply room. I need you to make sure everything is strapped down tight, in case of rough waters."
The recruit again follows orders, and heads off to the supply room. There, he sees a crewman, moving some boxes.
"Hey there," says the recruit. "is it normal to keep getting reassigned to new posts all day? I haven't kept one position for more than 15 minutes!"
The crewman says "Oh yeah- this sub is full of reposts."
A man with a sack walks into a bar. He orders his first drink. The bartender asks, “What’s in that sack?” The man replies. It’s nothing, don’t worry about it. Later in the night, the man orders another drink. The bartender asks again, “What’s in the sack?” The man again replies, “It’s nothing worth seeing, don’t worry.” Later, the man comes up for his third drink. The bartender says, “Look, if you show me whats in that sack, I’ll give you a free drink. Whatever you want.” The man thinks for a moment, and opens the sack. He pulls out a tiny man, and a tiny piano. The tiny man starts playing the tiny piano. The bartender, surprised, asks, “Wow! Where’d you get this guy?” The man pulls out a magic lamp from the sack. “This thing. It can grant any wish. But the wish won’t be 100% accurate.” The bartender asks, “Can I try it out?” The man gives the magic lamp to the bartender. “I wish I had 100 bucks.” A few seconds later, 100 ducks waddle into the bar. The bartender says, “You’re right. This thing isnt very accurate” The man says, “I know. did you really think I wished for a 12 inch pianist?”
An impasta
Apologies if this breaks the rules however. My friends and I are making up names of star wars characters combined with celebrity names. So far we've come up with Darth spader, sith rogan, and obi wan kobe.
Any others we cant think of?
He was a hippo pot a must. This is so dumb...I apologize now to all of you ha ha ha.
No hard fillings.
A Roamin' Numeral.
(Apologies if it's an old joke. My daughter told me this today while doing online math class. THANKS COVID!!)
Everyone stay safe and healthy!
He’s telling a dumb blonde joke when a young platinum haired beauty jumps to feet, “what gives you the right to stereotype blondes that way?”she demands. “What does hair color have to do with my worth as a human being?”
Flustered, the ventriloquist begins to stammer an apology
“You keep out of this! She yells, “I’m talking to that little jerk on your knee!”
I told her I was sorry for such a cheesy joke.
Unless you're at a funeral
I apologize to everyone in the sub about my earlier post. I was trying to make a funny joke, but I spelled the title wrong and couldn't go back. After that, everything spiraled out of control. I thought about deleting it and pretending it never happened, even denying it's very existence, but after a moment of reflection I realized:
There's no use lying over spelled milk.
I gave it a lot of shit this morning
(Long time stalker, heres my first dad joke!)
#That’s how eye roll!
Ooooooooooonnnnnnnnnnneeeeeeeeeeeee.
irrelephant ...,,,,That was the most stupidest joke ,sorry
Batman hungry asks Alfred to make him a chicken sandwich. "I apologise sir but we're out of chicken." Batman asks if they have any turkey. "My apologies sir but no. We've got ham though."
Re-Morse code!
Re-morse code
I call it the remorse code
Re-morse code
Because it takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
Re-morse code.
Re-morse code.
Re-Morse code.
