Did you hear about the pirate who had trouble with the alphabet?
He always got lost at sea!
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︎ Apr 14 2021
Everyone keeps telling me there's 26 letters in the alphabet, not 25
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︎ Feb 14 2021
What is a pirate's favourite letter of the alphabet?
You think it's R, but actually it's the C
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︎ Mar 14 2021
So I once sent someone a joke about the alphabet in the mail...
but I guess they never got the letters.
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︎ Apr 08 2021
I commissioned an artist to make me a set of letters of the alphabet out of cast iron.
I received A, B, C, D, F, G, H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O, P, Q, R, S, T, U, V, W, X, Y, and Z.
I'm missing the iron E.
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︎ Apr 08 2021
Why can pirates never finish the alphabet?
Because they always get lost at C.
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︎ Oct 12 2020
My dad always said I loved alphabet soup growing up.
But really it was just him putting words in my mouth.
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︎ Jan 27 2021
What animal is most excited about the alphabet?
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︎ Mar 30 2021
Why does it take forever for pirates to learn the alphabet?
Because pirates can spend years at C.
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︎ Mar 21 2021
Alphabet
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︎ Jan 16 2021
What does Woody do when he has to choose a random letter of the alphabet?
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︎ Mar 27 2021
Why does the rest of the Alphabet find A,E,I,O, and U so annoying?
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︎ Mar 14 2021
Why did only one letter of the alphabet get a Christmas present?
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︎ Dec 25 2020
After eating alphabet soup....
....the next time I pooped I had a vowel movement. But I'm a bit worried that all the other letters still haven't come out. It's been a while now so I went to see my doctor. He said it wasn't a big deal. I was just a little consonantipated.
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︎ Mar 06 2021
To get over my divorce, I keep telling myself 25 letters of the alphabet
Avoiding the X helps a lot
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︎ Feb 28 2021
What do you call it when you mix a laxative with alphabet soup?
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︎ Jan 06 2021
I started a petition to swap the position of "a" and "n" in the alphabet.
No one took me seriously when I said jk lmao
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︎ Nov 30 2020
Whatβs the hottest letter in the alphabet?
βBβ, because it makes oil boil.
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︎ Jan 02 2021
I started making lamps in the shape of the alphabet.
After the first three, it was a D-light.
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︎ Dec 10 2020
I told my wife Iβm going to arrange the herbs in alphabetical order from now on.
She said, βWhere would you find the time?β
I said, βEasy. Right next to the sage.β
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︎ Dec 13 2020
A man recently ran up to me announcing that he was a primary color, then instructed me to perform a modern dance trend on the fourth letter of the alphabet and food coloring.
He said "I'm blue, dab a D, dab a dye".
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︎ Jan 14 2021
What do you call Japanese alphabet soup?
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︎ Jan 16 2021
I'm preparing to teach my son the alphabet.
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︎ Sep 17 2020
How many letters are in the Christmas alphabet?
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︎ Dec 24 2020
What is the second to last letter of the alphabet?
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︎ Aug 15 2020
This summer when I dug potatoes from my garden, they all were shaped like a letter from the alphabet...
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︎ Jan 11 2021
Did you hear that they're replacing two letters of the alphabet? Instead of T, you have to say "Clowns". Instead of V, you need to say "Jokers". I refuse to use them, but I was singing the alphabet when they changed them, so I have a problem...
Clowns to the left of me, Jokers to the right, here I am, stuck in the middle with U.
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︎ Dec 06 2020
My wife said the βEβ was missing from my sons alphabet set.
I replied, βNo way that is in the top 5 most voweluable letters!β
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︎ Dec 06 2020
During an autopsy, why are the heart, kidneys, liver and lungs arranged alphabetically?
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︎ Sep 12 2020
Y'all ever hear of the Christmas alphabet?
ABCDEFGHIJK MNOPQRSTUVWXYZ
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︎ Dec 25 2020
I have an alphabet grenade
if that goes off it could spell disaster
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︎ Nov 29 2020
All the letters of the alphabet walk into a bar. Why does only one of them get a drink?
Because the bartender keeps saying, βCan I get U anything?β
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︎ Dec 19 2020
Youβve heard of alphabet soup now get ready for....
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︎ Mar 13 2020
No matter what I do, I just canβt seem to master the entire alphabet.
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︎ Sep 22 2020
The alphabet is terrifying.
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︎ Sep 09 2020
When I write down the alphabet I never get past the letter "I"
I guess that's where I draw the line.
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︎ Nov 21 2020
I only know 25 letters of the alphabet
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︎ Apr 02 2021
I only know 25 letters of the alphabet
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︎ Mar 25 2021
I only know 25 letters in the alphabet.
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︎ Mar 15 2021
Iβm good friends with 25 letters of the alphabet.
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︎ Apr 01 2021
What's a pirate's favorite letter of the alphabet? Most think it's the R.
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︎ Mar 26 2021
Iβve combined alphabet soup with a laxative...
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︎ Jan 03 2021
If you see the second letter of the alphabet
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︎ Jan 13 2021
I made a dish that combines alphabet soup with a laxative.
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︎ Nov 25 2020
Why can't pirates finish the alphabet?
Because they get lost at "c"
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︎ Nov 03 2020
I am only familiar with 25 letters of the English Alphabet
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︎ Oct 19 2020
Why do pirates live the alphabet?
Because they spend years at C
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︎ Oct 22 2020
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