Have you heard about the child abductor that sleeps alot?

It's a kid-napper.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/boardzeroo
πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2020
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β€œI trust my fingers alot!”

Because i can count on them............

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dark_Demon_69
πŸ“…︎ Oct 22 2020
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My brother, who stutters alot, went to prison...

Its a shame that he won’t finish his sentence

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Yaboibaka
πŸ“…︎ Aug 19 2020
🚨︎ report
I've know alot of jokes about retired people...

But they never worked

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πŸ‘€︎ u/KyotoKyoto2525
πŸ“…︎ Aug 11 2020
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Thats alot of data
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Random_420-69
πŸ“…︎ May 03 2020
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I was talking to a girl that had alot on her chest...

... she said it was good to talk abou tit

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ismailizhere
πŸ“…︎ May 23 2020
🚨︎ report
I drank alot of alcohol at the airport last night.

I now have a terminal hangover.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/het_bob
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2020
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Were going to see alot of this once hurricane Dorian hits southern Florida. And maybe some Axeidental puns that were felled in there.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Daboss104
πŸ“…︎ Aug 30 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a person who walks alot in 27BC?

A roamin'.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AudacitySam
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2019
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I never liked having alot of body hair

Buts it's grown on me

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πŸ‘€︎ u/General__FluFF
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2019
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Alot of people were saying The Simpsons predicted Pokemon Go but me personally,

I think that's a little farfetch'd

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheSFG832
πŸ“…︎ Jul 15 2019
🚨︎ report
Alot of people say i have Trust issues

But why should i Trust them?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Orkazzz
πŸ“…︎ Aug 10 2019
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What do call a horse with alot of money?

Stable

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TomXX88
πŸ“…︎ Apr 06 2019
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Two friends are out shopping. One says, β€œMan there are ALOT of extra small clothes here...” and the other says β€œI know right, there’s an XS!” (excess)

I just came up w it today and I’m proud of it ok bye

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sothg
πŸ“…︎ Aug 21 2018
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I like Carrabba's alot more now.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hsmm877
πŸ“…︎ May 23 2018
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I heard that alot of people died trying to tell everyone that the earth goes around the sun.

I guess it was too revolutionary

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Whybotherr
πŸ“…︎ Sep 01 2018
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Does this subreddit get alot of reposts?

So I am a major fan of puns and play on words and I pretty much have an entire folder on my computer dedicated to awesome puns I have found over time from the internet. I don't want people to get pissed for reposts. Post anyways or check every pun posted in the past month to make sure?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hsmm877
πŸ“…︎ Feb 15 2018
🚨︎ report
So on my way to work today, i noticed alot of people using the church parking lot to make U-Turns

I guess the church is a good place to turn yourself around.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rogshamosh
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2018
🚨︎ report
I'm under alot of pressure at work. Just trying to gauge water do next. Luckily there's plenty more jobs in the pipeline... i.reddituploads.com/c9b53…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/codser
πŸ“…︎ Feb 02 2017
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There is alot of controversy about universal sign language in the deaf community

However they aren't very vocal about it

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thedoomfulldome
πŸ“…︎ Apr 04 2016
🚨︎ report
If your knees hurt alot you might want to call

The Center for The Knees Control

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheCranberryMan58
πŸ“…︎ Apr 29 2018
🚨︎ report
I used to hear alot of tree puns

Most of them were all bark and no bite, even though they branched out to more deep rooted subjects. Some of the saps had to leave usually. Everyone was oakay in the end though, it left some of us feeling fruity. I was asked how the others were affected, but i told them i wooden know. I bought a wooden tv shortly after but everything was payperview.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/lieghannsheriden
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2016
🚨︎ report
My laptop has been having alot of problems latly. I kind of just want to kick it out of my window.

I guess i would really be booting windows then.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PerfectRaito
πŸ“…︎ Mar 16 2015
🚨︎ report
Congratulations to my friend on his first child! Now, to the joke about the crippled guy who talks alot of shit.....

Well he didn't know what was wrong with him, but this dude obviously had a diss-ability.

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πŸ“…︎ Jun 21 2017
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While watching the elections i realized Trump was winning alot of states were Red. Guess you can say america was dealing with another.. Red Scare..
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ryuzaki650
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2016
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I find myself doing this alot now.

When a cashier asks me if I prefer paper or plastic, I reply "surprise me" then proceed to act shocked by any decision made.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/fish1479
πŸ“…︎ Aug 10 2013
🚨︎ report

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