My son asked me if I knew any good chemistry jokes as he'd just had his first chemistry class. I thought about telling him one about alkalinity...

But then I thought; 'Nah, too basic...'

πŸ‘οΈŽ 36
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Meta-Fox
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 07 2021
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My coworker has to drink alkaline water to prevent IC flare-upsβ€”the higher the pH the better.

That’s so basic.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/jjazzy1990
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 09 2019
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I got busted stealing calcium, alkaline, and sodium.

I didn't get charged with robbery. I got charged with assault and battery.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/eleece
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 16 2019
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Did you hear about that dog with very alkaline blood?...

Turns out she was a real Basic Bitch.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/peaceman86
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 02 2017
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AA meeting
πŸ‘οΈŽ 4k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/moses10960
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 19 2019
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Court Chester: Cell of the Century

Chester, the defendant, stood in front of the judge's imposing bench, waiting patiently for the reason why he was there. To further muddle the moment, he stared at items unfamiliar to him, at least in that context.

Perched on and near His Honor's desk were the following: A DuraLast Ultra in one car with a long, black cord stretching to another car, several alkaline D cells plugged into a black box, and lastly, a cell phone with its cord sticking into the wall.

Finally removing Chester's questioned look was his attorney leaning into his ear to whisper, "It's official, now: You're facing battery charges."

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/bradstros
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 27 2019
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Before we leave, grab antacid

and uncle alkaline.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 12
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Billy_Bayou
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 20 2017
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What are you listening to?

"Hey hotdiggitydon, what are you listening to?" "Alkaline trio" "Alkaline trio huh....hey! What's the difference between them and acidic trio?" "What?" "The PH!!"

I couldn't help but laugh at this one. I was actually impressed

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/HotDiggityDon
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 03 2016
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