My coworker has to drink alkaline water to prevent IC flare-upsβ€”the higher the pH the better.

That’s so basic.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jjazzy1990
πŸ“…︎ Aug 09 2019
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I got busted stealing calcium, alkaline, and sodium.

I didn't get charged with robbery. I got charged with assault and battery.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/eleece
πŸ“…︎ Feb 16 2019
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Did you hear about that dog with very alkaline blood?...

Turns out she was a real Basic Bitch.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/peaceman86
πŸ“…︎ Mar 02 2017
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My son asked me if I knew any good chemistry jokes as he'd just had his first chemistry class. I thought about telling him one about alkalinity...

But then I thought; 'Nah, too basic...'

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Meta-Fox
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07 2021
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AA meeting
πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/moses10960
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19 2019
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Court Chester: Cell of the Century

Chester, the defendant, stood in front of the judge's imposing bench, waiting patiently for the reason why he was there. To further muddle the moment, he stared at items unfamiliar to him, at least in that context.

Perched on and near His Honor's desk were the following: A DuraLast Ultra in one car with a long, black cord stretching to another car, several alkaline D cells plugged into a black box, and lastly, a cell phone with its cord sticking into the wall.

Finally removing Chester's questioned look was his attorney leaning into his ear to whisper, "It's official, now: You're facing battery charges."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bradstros
πŸ“…︎ Mar 27 2019
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Before we leave, grab antacid

and uncle alkaline.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Billy_Bayou
πŸ“…︎ Aug 20 2017
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What are you listening to?

"Hey hotdiggitydon, what are you listening to?" "Alkaline trio" "Alkaline trio huh....hey! What's the difference between them and acidic trio?" "What?" "The PH!!"

I couldn't help but laugh at this one. I was actually impressed

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HotDiggityDon
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2016
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