43 Hilarious Aime Puns - Punstoppable 🛑

Last month I launched a book aimed at children.

I’m pleased to say I hit one of them

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👤︎ u/rfcoc

📅︎ Dec 17 2020

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Bit of a long shot...

but does anyone know a sniper?

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👤︎ u/adfunk101

📅︎ Feb 25 2021

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The other night I tried to kill a vampire with a really big pointy stick, but my aim was terrible.

It was a giant missed stake.

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👤︎ u/Jzerene

📅︎ Sep 08 2020

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Gravity Falls has the best puns

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👤︎ u/IRONGOD2020

📅︎ Nov 09 2020

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This administration is aiming to put a woman on the moon by 2024

Boobs on the moon 2024

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👤︎ u/afterburners_engaged

📅︎ Jun 01 2020

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My ex-wife still misses me

But her aim is starting to improve.

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👤︎ u/Merlin-5

📅︎ Jan 29 2021

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I never tried using a gun ever before...

I'm planning to give it a shot, though.

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👤︎ u/SuperFeather0

📅︎ Jan 18 2021

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I miss my ex...

But my aim is getting much better.

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👤︎ u/VERBERD

📅︎ Mar 08 2021

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Should’ve aimed better

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👤︎ u/TNMYSNGL

📅︎ May 27 2019

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American School shooting jokes tend to be aimed at the younger audience.

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👤︎ u/bigni44a

📅︎ Aug 30 2019

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What a good aim

👍︎ 39

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👤︎ u/raysawma

📅︎ Jun 05 2019

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My ex wife still misses me....

But, her aim is getting better.

👍︎ 9

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👤︎ u/VERBERD

📅︎ Feb 16 2021

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Why is it easier to take an F-150 across a river than a Silverado?

Bc no one ever Chevy’d a river

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👤︎ u/psykotic24

📅︎ Nov 06 2020

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Aimed at a younger audience

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👤︎ u/notrueme

📅︎ May 03 2019

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Explains why people don’t have the best aim

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👤︎ u/aziz_a22

📅︎ Apr 05 2019

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I met a Buddhist monk who refused anaesthetic during his root canal surgery. His aim?

Transcend dental medication

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👤︎ u/CasualAustralian

📅︎ Sep 24 2019

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If there’s one thing that always makes me throw up...

It’s a dart board on the ceiling

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👤︎ u/jweber96

📅︎ Sep 05 2020

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"An apple a day keep the doctor away" they say, but only if you have good aim.

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👤︎ u/geekcommunicant

📅︎ Jul 04 2019

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I've designed a tea brand aimed at Jewish Men

Hebrews

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👤︎ u/Flumpf_

📅︎ Jun 04 2018

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I miss my SO a lot. I end up kissing and hugging thin air and she says it makes me look ridiculous. How do I recalibrate my aim? (r/fifthworldproblems) reddit.com/r/fifthworldpr…

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👤︎ u/TheBadger40

📅︎ Jan 15 2018

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Anyone can fly, as long as they have really bad aim

You just need to throw yourself at the ground - and miss.

👍︎ 7

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👤︎ u/td941

📅︎ Jan 07 2019

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A pitcher kept aiming slightly to the side and hitting the batter

no one got their lemonade and the cake was ruined

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👤︎ u/integral-e-to-the-x

📅︎ May 31 2016

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Last week I launched a book aimed at 9 12 year olds.

I am proud to say I hit one of them

-Gary delaney

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👤︎ u/Elrond_Halfelven

📅︎ Feb 15 2019

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The greatest baseball player ever was a guy named Hugh McBealy, and he was most famous for every single time he came to the plate knocking the ball high over right field and into the stands.

He scored a home run every single at bat, and always the exact same way. Way over right field, too high for anyone to reach, and it always landed in exactly the 17th row of the stands, give or take a couple feet.

He earned the nickname “the machine” for how consistently he hit the exact same spot every time. Right field, 17th row, every single time. He did this for 20 years before he retired. Tickets to the 2-3 seats that the ball always landed on sold for over $2k a pop by the time he retired because you were guaranteed at least a couple home run balls.

And the day he retired a reporter asked him “How does it feel to be retiring as the greatest hitter of all time?”

Hugh just looked at the reporter puzzled. “What do you mean?” He said.

The reporter clarified “literally over 5,000 times you went to the plate and hit a home run to right field, 17th row of the stands!”

Hugh looked dejected and disappointed “yeah, my greatest failure...”

“What do you mean?” Said the reporter incredulously.

Hugh let’s out a long sigh, and looked down at the ground quietly for a moment before finally speaking.

“I’ve been aiming left this whole time”

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👤︎ u/Frnklfrwsr

📅︎ Nov 12 2020

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My aim is to maybe be more specific one of these days.

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👤︎ u/TommehBoi

📅︎ Feb 09 2019

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What will you say when Che Guevara aims a tree and misses it?

Chemistry

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👤︎ u/harikrishnan_s

📅︎ Feb 06 2019

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My ex-wife still misses me...

BUT HER AIM IS GETTING BETTER!!

(gravity falls, anyone?)

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👤︎ u/slimothyjames1

📅︎ Oct 09 2020

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Did you hear the one about the baseball pitcher with terrible aim?

Never mind it'll fly over your head

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👤︎ u/Exploits_R_Lyfe

📅︎ Jul 10 2018

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Why do pterodactyls aim towards the outside of the toilet when it's late at night?

To make the "p" silent

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👤︎ u/TheBeaverDoctor

📅︎ Oct 28 2018

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How do you call a grateful crocodile?

An arigator

👍︎ 5

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👤︎ u/MathenThenseph

📅︎ Jun 23 2020

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Can a ninja aim precisely?

surehecan

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👤︎ u/TimeTraveller4Ever

📅︎ Jun 17 2017

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What do you think about the track and field event, where the aim is to throw a circular heavy disc further than the other competitors?

..Discus

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👤︎ u/that_introverted_guy

📅︎ Aug 05 2014

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I was gonna try out archery

But theres too many drawbacks

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👤︎ u/Demarcus-Xavier

📅︎ Feb 01 2019

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Found in the wild

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👤︎ u/JMthekid

📅︎ Sep 22 2019

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I need candy puns

Please give me puns I can quickly shout while walking through the hallway and chucking candy after screaming the pun. Preferably candy you would get on Halloween. Thank you for helping me out.

You are Musketeers of my heart.

.............

i hate myself

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👤︎ u/energized-pickle

📅︎ Nov 01 2019

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My ex wife still misses me.

But her aim is getting better!

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👤︎ u/reddit_reddit03

📅︎ Nov 27 2020

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She missed you

But her aim is getting better!

👍︎ 13

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👤︎ u/AdamTheMango

📅︎ Dec 06 2020

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My ex-wife still misses me. But her aim is steadily improving.

👍︎ 3

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👤︎ u/mhayes69123

📅︎ Apr 03 2019

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My ex-wife still misses me. But her aim is steadily improving

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👤︎ u/moses10960

📅︎ Dec 08 2017

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My ex-wife still misses me

But her aim is getting better

👍︎ 70

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👤︎ u/ttttteefhuyhttfff

📅︎ Aug 19 2020

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My ex wife still misses me

but her aim is getting better

👍︎ 22

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👤︎ u/HellsJuggernaut

📅︎ Jul 31 2020

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My ex-wife still misses me

But her aim is getting better!

👍︎ 40

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👤︎ u/TitaniumPeak

📅︎ Jun 15 2020

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My ex wife still misses me

But her aim is getting better!,

👍︎ 9

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👤︎ u/sharpshooter228

📅︎ Jul 16 2020

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