What's the highest rank in the popcorn army?

Kernel

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Breachx4002
πŸ“…︎ Mar 17 2021
🚨︎ report
An American wants to enter a nightclub

Together with some friends from abroad, an Afghan, an Albanian, and Algerian, an Andorran, an Angolan, an Antiguan, an Argintine, an Armenian, and Austrailian, an Austrian, an Azerbaijani, a Bahamian, a Bahraini, a Bangladeshi, a Barbadian, a Barbudans, a Batswanan, a Belarusian, a Belgian, a Belizean, a Beninese, a Bhutanese, a Bolivian, a Bosnian, a Brazilian, a Brit, a Bruneian, a Bulgarian, a Burkinabe, a Burmese, a Burundian, a Cambodian, a Cameroonian, a Canadian, a Cape Verdean, a Central African, a Chadian, a Chilean, a Chinese, a Colombian, a Comoran, a Congolese, a Costa Rican, a Croatian, a Cuban, a Cypriot, a Czech, a Dane, a Djibouti, a Dominican, a Dutchman, an East Timorese, an Ecuadorean, an Egyptian, an Emirian, an Equatorial Guinean, an Eritrean, an Estonian, an Ethiopian, a Fijian, a Filipino, a Finn, a Frenchman, a Gabonese, a Gambian, a Georgian, a German, a Ghanaian, a Greek, a Grenadian, a Guatemalan, a Guinea-Bissauan, a Guinean, a Guyanese, a Haitian, a Herzegovinian, a Honduran, a Hungarian, an I-Kiribati, an Icelander, an Indian, an Indonesian, an Iranian, an Iraqi, an Irishman, an Israeli, an Italian, an Ivorian, a Jamaican, a Japanese, a Jordanian, a Kazakhstani, a Kenyan, a Kittian and Nevisian, a Kuwaiti, a Kyrgyz, a Laotian, a Latvian, a Lebanese, a Liberian, a Libyan, a Liechtensteiner, a Lithuanian, a Luxembourger, a Macedonian, a Malagasy, a Malawian, a Malaysian, a Maldivan, a Malian, a Maltese, a Marshallese, a Mauritanian, a Mauritian, a Mexican, a Micronesian, a Moldovan, a Monacan, a Mongolian, a Moroccan, a Mosotho, a Motswana, a Mozambican, a Namibian, a Nauruan, a Nepalese, a New Zealander, a Nicaraguan, a Nigerian, a Nigerien, a North Korean, a Northern Irishman, a Norwegian, an Omani, a Pakistani, a Palauan, a Palestinian, a Panamanian, a Papua New Guinean, a Paraguayan, a Peruvian, a Pole, a Portuguese, a Qatari, a Romanian, a Russian, a Rwandan, a Saint Lucian, a Salvadoran, a Samoan, a San Marinese, a Sao Tomean, a Saudi, a Scottish, a Senegalese, a Serbian, a Seychellois, a Sierra Leonean, a Singaporean, a Slovakian, a Slovenian, a Solomon Islander, a Somali, a South African, a South Korean, a Spaniard, a Sri Lankan, a Sudanese, a Surinamer, a Swazi, a Swede, a Swiss, a Syrian, a Taiwanese, a Tajik, a Tanzanian, a Togolese, a Tongan, a Trinidadian or Tobagonian, a Tunisian, a Turkish, a Tuvaluan, a Ugandan, a Ukrainian, a Uruguayan, a Uzbekistani, a Venezuelan, a Vietnamese, a Welshman, a Yemenite, a Zambian

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/leemhuis
πŸ“…︎ May 12 2021
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How do you defend yourself against an army of attacking cattle?

With a cowitzer.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jester57
πŸ“…︎ May 12 2021
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I entered the national rage competition after being told I was easily angered, but lost to a guy who was much angrier than me.

I was outraged.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MidDan
πŸ“…︎ May 05 2021
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Where does George Washington keep his armies?

In his sleevies

-Thanks to Stuff to blow your mind podcast

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tracyrose10
πŸ“…︎ Mar 29 2021
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What color is your Afghan?

My afghan is tan.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MyLatestInvention
πŸ“…︎ Feb 02 2021
🚨︎ report
In the Army they kept yelling at me for bringing a hammer to the mission...

Maybe that's why my Sargent kept yelling "THIS IS NOT A DRILL!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hotsprings1234
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30 2021
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I recently joined the Popcorn Army.

I've already been promoted to Kernel.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AlRedux
πŸ“…︎ Feb 12 2021
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What do you call an army of 1 year olds?

An infant-ry

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πŸ‘€︎ u/WinGs5000
πŸ“…︎ Apr 05 2021
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My wife was a captain in the Army Reserve. She told me she had a promotion and asked me to attend the ceremony. I don’t know much about the Army,

...but I understand this promotion was a major ordeal.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SlickHeadSinger
πŸ“…︎ Apr 05 2021
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I almost qualified for the national curling team

But I slid out of contention.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheAzrael2013
πŸ“…︎ May 02 2021
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My son has recently taken up an interest in music. We're constantly going back and forth trying to stump the other with trivia. He thought he had me when he chorused, "Hey, dad, what genre are national anthems?!" I laughed, "That's easy!"

"Country!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Mar 28 2021
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I have been asking around what the lowest rank in the Army is, but no one would tell me.

Apparently it is private.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AncientPhoenix98
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2021
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What do you call a half man half horse in the middle of an army formation?

The centaur of attention..... ill see myself out

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πŸ‘€︎ u/gambitK9
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2020
🚨︎ report
I know a really great joke about the Army Reserve and National Guard...

But it only works one weekend out of the month.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/awesmazingj
πŸ“…︎ Feb 04 2020
🚨︎ report
Where do British kings keep their armies?

In their sleevies.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/canadaddy-o
πŸ“…︎ Mar 14 2021
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Where did the general put his army?

In his sleeve-y.

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πŸ“…︎ Mar 20 2021
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Why did the German army not get presents from Santa during WWII?

Because they were naught-zis (Nazis).

(My 6 year old came up with this joke on his own out of the blue.)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/talin342
πŸ“…︎ Mar 01 2021
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What is Canada’s national board game?

Sorry!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SuperGinger
πŸ“…︎ May 05 2021
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I finally finished my training film for army commanding officers after more than 18 attempts.

Now I have CO vid 19.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bobskimo
πŸ“…︎ Mar 15 2021
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What’s and Army general’s favorite day of the year?

MARCH FOURTH!

Happy March 4th everyone.

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πŸ“…︎ Mar 04 2021
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Where does the army get it's higher up officers?

From the general store

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Nuudom
πŸ“…︎ Mar 01 2021
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I was surprised at first that the national dish of Tanzania was pasta

, but I'm not one to question it, and I can't deny it was great Serenghetti.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MarcusWigs
πŸ“…︎ Apr 18 2021
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Who always wins at the army quiz nights?

General Knowledge

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πŸ‘€︎ u/pjburnhill
πŸ“…︎ Feb 17 2021
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Why did the Soviet army have such great soldiers

They were all excellent at marxmanship

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πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2020
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What do you get if you drop a piano on an army base?

A flat major

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DantheMan350V2
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2021
🚨︎ report
My love for my wife is like the national debt.

It's enormous. It seems likes it's been around forever. It is growing every day. It's something that will be passed onto our children and grandchildren.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hoetted
πŸ“…︎ Feb 14 2021
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How can there be a national coin shortage?

Makes no cents.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/i_live_in_a_truck
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2020
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Can I tell what nationality Napoleon was?

Corsican!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/musclemansausage
πŸ“…︎ Feb 20 2021
🚨︎ report
I lost my job at the salvation army soup kitchen last night.

All I said was hurry up some of us have homes to go to...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HazyDayZ420
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2021
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Today, Friday, February 19th, is National Prevent Plagiarism Day

As a tribute, Reddit r/Jokes will be quarantined for 24 hours.

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πŸ“…︎ Feb 19 2021
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What's Pinocchio's favourite national sport?

Yemeni cricket

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πŸ‘€︎ u/brunezy
πŸ“…︎ Mar 15 2021
🚨︎ report
Massive protest spread across Madrid earlier today to protest the nation's Supreme Court ruling that bans tattoos.

Nobody accepts the Spanish ink decision.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Somethinggood4
πŸ“…︎ Feb 27 2021
🚨︎ report
How do you describe bench-press obsessed army boys insulting each other while they're being shot at?

Chest nuts roasting in open fire

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πŸ‘€︎ u/petertree
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02 2021
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Ozymandias, king of kings, had a very capable army of snakes.

He is best known for the quote:
β€œLook on my worms, ye Mighty, and despair!”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BinBender
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2020
🚨︎ report
My friend the pirate was a national boxing champion.

He had a deadly right hook.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kdlaz
πŸ“…︎ Mar 01 2021
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I’ve decided to make an elite army of babies

I’ll call them The Infantry

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πŸ“…︎ Aug 25 2020
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Who is the highest ranking officer in the popcorn army?

The kernel.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/lazlowoodbine
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23 2021
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Where does a General keep his armies?

In his sleevies.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Aunt-Tifa
πŸ“…︎ Feb 19 2021
🚨︎ report
An Afghan, an Albanian, an Algerian, ...

an American, an Andorran, an Angolan, an Antiguans, an Argentine, an Armenian, an Australian, an Austrian, an Azerbaijani, a Bahamian, a Bahraini, a Bangladeshi, a Barbadian, a Barbudans, a Batswanan, a Belarusian, a Belgian, a Belizean, a Beninese, a Bhutanese, a Bolivian, a Bosnian, a Brazilian, a Brit, a Bruneian, a Bulgarian, a Burkinabe, a Burmese, a Burundian, a Cambodian, a Cameroonian, a Canadian, a Cape Verdean, a Central African, a Chadian, a Chilean, a Chinese, a Colombian, a Comoran, a Congolese, a Costa Rican, a Croatian, a Cuban, a Cypriot, a Czech, a Dane, a Djibouti, a Dominican, a Dutchman, an East Timorese, an Ecuadorean, an Egyptian, an Emirian, an Equatorial Guinean, an Eritrean, an Estonian, an Ethiopian, a Fijian, a Filipino, a Finn, a Frenchman, a Gabonese, a Gambian, a Georgian, a German, a Ghanaian, a Greek, a Grenadian, a Guatemalan, a Guinea-Bissauan, a Guinean, a Guyanese, a Haitian, a Herzegovinian, a Honduran, a Hungarian, an I-Kiribati, an Icelander, an Indian, an Indonesian, an Iranian, an Iraqi, an Irishman, an Israeli, an Italian, an Ivorian, a Jamaican, a Japanese, a Jordanian, a Kazakhstani, a Kenyan, a Kittian and Nevisian, a Kuwaiti, a Kyrgyz, a Laotian, a Latvian, a Lebanese, a Liberian, a Libyan, a Liechtensteiner, a Lithuanian, a Luxembourger, a Macedonian, a Malagasy, a Malawian, a Malaysian, a Maldivan, a Malian, a Maltese, a Marshallese, a Mauritanian, a Mauritian, a Mexican, a Micronesian, a Moldovan, a Monacan, a Mongolian, a Moroccan, a Mosotho, a Motswana, a Mozambican, a Namibian, a Nauruan, a Nepalese, a New Zealander, a Nicaraguan, a Nigerian, a Nigerien, a North Korean, a Northern Irishman, a Norwegian, an Omani, a Pakistani, a Palauan, a Palestinian, a Panamanian, a Papua New Guinean, a Paraguayan, a Peruvian, a Pole, a Portuguese, a Qatari, a Romanian, a Russian, a Rwandan, a Saint Lucian, a Salvadoran, a Samoan, a San Marinese, a Sao Tomean, a Saudi, a Scottish, a Senegalese, a Serbian, a Seychellois, a Sierra Leonean, a Singaporean, a Slovakian, a Slovenian, a Solomon Islander, a Somali, a South African, a South Korean, a Spaniard, a Sri Lankan, a Sudanese, a Surinamer, a Swazi, a Swede, a Swiss, a Syrian, a Taiwanese, a Tajik, a Tanzanian, a Togolese, a Tongan, a Trinidadian or Tobagonian, a Tunisian, a Turkish, a Tuvaluan, a Ugandan, a Ukrainian, a Uruguayan, a Uzbekistani, a Venezuelan, a Vietnamese, a Welshman, a Yemenite, a Zambian and a Zimbabwean all go to a nightclub...

The doorman stops the

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Chainz4Dayz
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2020
🚨︎ report
Where does a king keep his armies?

Up his sleevies

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/onefoot19toes
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30 2021
🚨︎ report
Where did the general keep his armies?

In his sleevies!

πŸ‘︎ 26
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LukeyPooh
πŸ“…︎ Mar 04 2021
🚨︎ report
Where does Napoleon keep all his armies?

Up his sleevies.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Masonic-Man
πŸ“…︎ Mar 05 2021
🚨︎ report
What color is your Afghan?

My Afghanistan.

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MyLatestInvention
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2020
🚨︎ report
What genre are national anthems?

[removed]

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/avandoorslaer
πŸ“…︎ Mar 12 2021
🚨︎ report
What genre are national anthems?

Country. 🀣

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/QuantopiaNL
πŸ“…︎ Feb 23 2021
🚨︎ report
What genre are national anthems?

Country.

πŸ‘︎ 30k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/rupanath97
πŸ“…︎ Mar 12 2020
🚨︎ report
Where does a General keep his Armies?

In his Sleevies!

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BeachPeachMcgee
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2020
🚨︎ report

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