My wife has been teaching my son to fold his own laundry but he complains about it everytime. My wife, trying to convince my son, said to him "If you pick up this habit, your future wife will love you very much."
My son replied "I don't want my future wife to love me very much. I want my future wife to help me fold my laundry."
I busted out laughing. But the end result is that now I have to fold my own laundry going forward.
They make up everything.
I was proud.
You just have to listen varicosely.
Now it's a doe friend.
We’re sitting in the chill out area at work and there’s an old Metallica guitar Tab book near us.
One of the girls says “That book smells like the 90’s”.
A guy laughs and says “What does the 90’s smell like?”
I say “Teen Spirit!”
He just shrugged and said it’s my life
It's true. Right there in his last name, "Lay Hee Hoo."
Isn't that nuts?
Sorry, wrong sub.
But I don't know Y
two times ten is twenty and two times eleven is twenty too
She then said I need to pay more attention at school pick up.
She was transgendeer.
I can stop any time.
Asking for a friend
"Saudi Arabia Oil Fears Look Well Founded."
I love it when these things occur in nature!
Mein Craft
••••then why did they dress him up like a dog?!
Me: "Hey dad, hypothetically, if the world suddenly ran out of beer, what would you do?"
Dad: "I'd probably swap to pandas."
Me: "Is ... is that like a type of cider?"
Dad: "No, it's a black and white animal."
Me: "Dad? There aren't any pandas in New Zealand?"
Dad: "Well, there's no bears either."
On the day my daughter was born Nurse: We're gonna have to give her a few shots in her heel. Me: Her heel?! She's not going to be able to walk for months!
Me: Urgh, my foot has fallen asleep, I hate when that happens.
Dad: That’s annoying; now it’s not going to be able to get to sleep tonight!
It’s something I’m thinking of looking into.
An orange, because they don't rhyme.
He even used to be a comic
And I can guarantee you no one has ever heard them.
I couldn’t fathom it.
Because it has make up exams.
Who knew water could be so polarizing
Yeah, he can clock you a good one.
I tried to look up lighters and all they had was 18,346 matches.
A dad was with his daughter and she was looking for hair dye and he said... "Don't get that red colour you got last time, it made you a transginger"
I thought they just ate out..
I Han a hen than could count her own eggs she was a mathemachicken
It’s suppose to be a romance but don’t be surprised if there’s some Fowl play.
You just have to listen varicosely
