Acer Glabrum Puns

Even though Gridcoin & BOINC helps science, there's still a carbon cost to power CPUs and GPUs that crunch. I originally got into BOINC because of my interest in fighting climate change, so the emissions for which my crunching is responsible bothers me. I'm hoping to use some of my Gridcoin to grow tree seedlings for a local arborist nonprofit and, if the sub's mods are okay with it, wanted to see if anyone wants to join.

Plan details: I'm putting 4,000 GRC towards seeds, seedling containers, soil, etc. and plan to have seedlings ready for fall planting. From my calculations, it takes about $.60 (80 GRC at today’s rate) on average to grow a planting-ready seedling. Assuming 75% survival rate from seed to maturity, these trees would absorb just under 1 ton of CO2 per year when mature (roughly equal to the amount of carbon it takes to produce the juice to run my rig for a year).

My plan is to donate a section of seedlings to local arborist nonprofits (NC Urban Forest Council, NC Native Plant Society) and plant another section myself in a few places where I have been given permission in central and western North Carolina. Using NC State University’s guide, I’ve selected a variety of native species that are either low maintenance, high growth (read: high survival rate & high carbon sequestration, respectively) or are endangered and seeds are available to purchase. Full list below. I’ll be using biodegradable containers and an organic soil mixture specifically chosen to minimize environmental impact and nitrogen/phosphorus runoff while maximizing healthy early growth.

Eastern Hemlock - Tsuga canadensis

Red Maple - Acer glabrum

Elm, various - Acer rubrum & Ulmus alanta

Pine, various - Pinus echinata / strobus / taeda

Oak, various - Quercus phellos

Magnolia - Magnolia virginiana

How you can contribute:

I didn’t see a rule against this, but will remove this section with apologies if not allowed. I have plenty of experience with plant care and the capacity to handle growing and planting significantly more seedlings. If there’s interest in my project, I’d be delighted to share pictures, updates, and results. If you want to contribute to my project, donations can be made to this address:

SHNjFM3SuQMH32f8FpvybaHzS2JRL41MZ2

Also, here are some basic calculations estimating the cost of offsetting the carbon from crunching on common rigs.* If you'd like to see how much your r

I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.

Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.

Do your worst!

A friend just bought around 25 acres on Central Vancouver Island with a nice creek that runs through it. I went on a scouting trip with him today and it is loaded with potential bow wood.

He has agreed to let me choose two trees to try to get two bows from (one for each of us). From the following list, which would you choose in order to make two bows of similar weights (35-40# @ ~28”) and which type of bow. Durability and a bit of room/forgiveness of errors would factor as I’ve only made one board bow and one self bow so far.

Choices:

1. Long (70”+), clear, and relatively straight Douglas Maple (Acer glabrum var douglassi) approximately 2” in diameter. Possibly also called Rock Maple?

2. Long (70”+), clear, and relatively straight Pacific Dogwood (Cornus nuttallii) approximately 3-4” in diameter.

3. 66”, clear, straight Ironwood/Ocean Spray (Holodiscus discolor), about 1-1.5” in diameter.

4. Long (70”+), clear, straight Bigleaf Maple (Acer macrophyllum), around 8-10” in diameter (or any smaller size... there’s tons of bigleaf maple).

5. 62”, several branches/knots, straight Pacific Yew (Taxus brevifolia), 1” tapering to about 1.5”. Although I found a couple yew, they were really shrubby rather than treelike and had a lot of branches. I feel like these might be outside the range of my current skill set.

Thanks for any input!

They were cooked in Greece.

I'm surprised it hasn't decade.

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂

It really does, I swear!

Because she wanted to see the task manager.

Heard they've been doing some shady business.

but then I remembered it was ground this morning.

Edit: Thank you guys for the awards, they're much nicer than the cardboard sleeve I've been using and reassures me that my jokes aren't stale

Edit 2: I have already been made aware that Men In Black 3 has told a version of this joke before. If the joke is not new to you, please enjoy any of the single origin puns in the comments

BamBOO!

They’re on standbi

A play on words.

Does anyone know if Acer glabrum (aka Douglas Maple/Rocky Mountains Maple) can be successfully grown/kept in Calgary, Alberta? I've seen some studies about natural distribution maps and hardiness considerations showing that it could be possible, however information about this tree is weirdly scarce.

My daughter, Chewbecca, not so much.

Pilot on me!!

Christopher Walken

Nothing, he was gladiator.

Or would that be too forward thinking?

Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.

This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.

If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.

Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.

When I got home, they were still there.

What did 0 say to 8 ?

" Nice Belt "

So What did 3 say to 8 ?

" Hey, you two stop making out "

I won't be doing that today!

[Removed]

This morning, my 4 year old daughter.

Daughter: I'm hungry

Me: nerves building, smile widening

Me: Hi hungry, I'm dad.

She had no idea what was going on but I finally did it.

Thank you all for listening.

Where ever you left it 🤷‍♀️🤭

There hasn't been a post all year!

Hindus, on the other hand, never had any beef.

You take away their little brooms

It was about a weak back.

It’s pronounced “Noel.”

Why