My wife is always accusing me of having zero empathy.
I just don’t understand why she feels that way.
My wife was always accusing me of being a cross dresser.
So I packed up all of her clothes and left!
I’m getting sick and tired of my wife constantly accusing me of sitting around and doing nothing.
I’m not going to stand for it.
My band mate keeps accusing me off hiding her instrument
I swear, it's all bassless claims!
My wife accused me of hating her family and relatives
I replied, no, I don't hate your relatives. In fact, I like your mother-in-law a lot better than I like mine.
Not sure if this qualifies as dad joke, but anyways here I go: I had to strongly disagree with a friend who accused me of being a severe fence-sitter
Then again, I get where he’s coming from.
My wife accused me of having uncontrollable OCD...
I soon put her in her place.
2 cows are in an police interview room accused of stealing dairy equipment
One cow says, it was the udder one
I accused Alexa of stealing my Adderall
What did may say to March after being accused
My wife accused me of taking the last donut
It’s true. I just ate the hole thing.
The wife accused me of always dropping random Elvis lyrics in our conversations.
Her suspicious mind left me all shook up
My mom told me that sitting on a computer 8 hours a day in unhealthy
I told: mom that why I am using a chair.
TIL that Mona Lisa was once accused of murder
A lot of people accuse me of plagiarism.
But those are their words, not mine.
I was playing among us and someone accused me that i was impostor
I just need to vent about it for a bit
Judge: "So, Mr Robot. Your neighbour accused you of stealing their electricity to power yourself. How do you plead?"
The defendant who is a robot: "Guilty as charged"
My wife accused me of always stating the obvious.
I replied, "That's what you think!"
My friend accused me of stealing his thesaurus.
Not only was I shocked, I was appalled, distraught, surprised, and taken aback.
If Mark has been accused of plagiarizing my content; Mark!? My words.
When my boys were playing ball, they accused me of spraying the ball with the watering hose. I didn't spray it.
Where do mansplainers get their water?
What did the Mandalorian bodybuilder say when he was accused of taking steroids?
I've been accused of being a plagiarist.
Creepy situation? Calls for a dad joke
So this is a true story, and maybe I’ll go to hell for telling it, but I expect I’ll meet the actual perpetrator there:
At baseball practice last night, a coach asked if I’d seen the rabbit — the dead one. What? He had me look by a fence where there wasn’t a dead bunny, but HALF of one: Literally (and eerily) just the bottom half, with the top completely missing. Still shuddering over this.
Properly disposed of it and was feeling unsettled, but sprung right back to true dad form when he jokingly accused me of harming the rabbit. I told him that he knew it couldn’t have been me — I’ve never been one to split hares
I have been accused of writing a long series of messages about the song "I'm Too Sexy"
But I would like to reassure everyone that I did not write said thread.
What did the Bowling Pin say when it was accused?
I've been accused of stealing other people's jokes
This post says otherwise
Edit: Wow someone gave me my first plat! As thanks, I'd steal make a post that says it all but this has already been posted before
Edit 2: thank you for the gold and silver!
My wife accused me of being immature.
I told her to get out of my fort.
A cannibal in Northern Germany is arrested while grilling beef patties.
He is accused of eating both hamburgers and Hamburgers.
I've just been accused of reposting a Dadjoke about Time travel tomorrow...
Where do French criminals take baths?
There is no month that accuses someone of speaking a falsehood!
I’m getting a little tired of my wife always accusing me of sitting around and doing nothing.
I decided I’m not going to stand for it.
My wife accused me of hating her family
I told her, "your mother-in-law is way better than mine!"
My wife accused me of having uncontrollable OCD.
I soon put her in her place.
My wife just accused me of having zero empathy.
I don’t understand how she can feel that way.
Mona Lisa was once accused of murder....
Turns out, she was framed.
My wife just accused me of having zero empathy.
I just don’t understand why she feels that way.
A lot of people accuse me of plagiarism
But those are their words, not mine.
My wife just accused me of having zero empathy.
I don’t understand how she can feel that way.
I was accused of being a plagiarist.
My wife accused me of hating her family and relatives. I said, “Absolutely not! No, I don’t hate your relatives. In fact..."
"I like your mother-in-law a lot better than I like mine!"
My wife accused me of hating her family and relatives...
I replied, "No, I don't hate your relatives. In fact, I like your mother-in-law a lot better than I like mine."
My wife accused me of hating her family and relatives...
I replied, "No, I don't hate your relatives. In fact, I like your mother-in-law a lot better than I like mine."
My wife accused me of being immature...
I told her to get out of my fort.
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