I accidentally sprayed deodorant in my mouth this morning.
Now when I talk I have this weird axe scent.
My friend claims the he accidentally glued himself to his autobiography, but I don’t believe him.
But that’s his story, and he’s sticking to it.
I accidentally put viagra in my ear
I’m hard of hearing now
Edit: Thank you kind strangers for the awards
Edit 2: Tis a HARD joke to beat
My son said, “I accidentally put ketchup in my eye. I should have been more careful.”
I said, “That’s Heinz sight for you.”
I accidentally ate some food coloring today.
The doctor says I’m fine but I feel like I dyed a little inside.
I accidentally swallowed a bunch of Scrabble tiles.
My next trip to the bathroom could spell disaster.
I accidentally rubbed ketchup in my eyes :(
Yeah, now I have Heinzsight.
When I was a kid, I accidentally caught my parents having SEX
These were the most awkward 40 minutes of my life
If you accidentally drop ice cubes on the floor, just quietly slide it under the refrigerator.
Soon it’ll be water under the fridge.
I accidentally sat on glass and the shattered glass went in my butt.
It was a real pane in the ass.
Accidentally knocked my grandmas ashes into a fog machine....
I accidentally played 'dad' instead of 'dead' when the bear attacked..
Now, it can ride a bike without stabilisers.
My Roomba accidentally went out the front door, and the neighborhood animals immediately started attacking it.
The other day my wife asked me to pass her lipstick, but I accidentally gave her a glue stick
She still isn't talking to me
Help! Accidentally uninstalled Windows!
My son accidentally smashed his foot on the table and as he was hopping around the room screaming in pain, I rushed to the phone, picked it up and asked him, "Do you want me to call..."
Wife: "I accidentally fell asleep while grading my student's projects."
Me: "I guess everyone's getting Z's"
Last night I accidentally superglued my thumb and forefinger together...
But don’t worry...it will be ok. 👌🏻
What do you call it when you accidentally miss the exit for your camp ground?
It turns out the capitol rioter did NOT accidentally kill himself with a taser to the balls and the story was just made up to disrespect him...
I don't think anyone is shocked.
(Source: https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/capitol-riot-taser-death)
Did you hear about the artist who gave up on his uncompleted drawing after accidentally breaking his pencil?
Apparently, there was no point to continue drawing the picture
I accidentally sat on a campfire the other day
It was the most ember assing thing that has ever happened to me
I accidentally used the wrong straw in my wife’s water bottle and broke it. She asked me to show her. I said...
This is the straw that broke the Camelback
My son told me, “Dad, I accidentally rubbed ketchup in my eyes, and now it burns.”
I said, “That’s Heinz sight for you.”
I accidentally butt dialed my ex last night.
I swear it’s the only booty call I’ve ever made.
I accidentally drank a bottle of invisible ink...
I am now in hospital, waiting to be seen.
Accidentally I spilt some tomato ketchup in my eye.
In Heinze sight, it was my mistake.
My uncle just passed away from accidentally drinking wood varnish
It was a sad way to go, but a beautiful finish.
What do you have when you accidentally sit on yogurt?
While replacing an electrical outlet, I accidentally stabbed myself with one of the wires.
And for a brief moment, I had a connection with the house.
Accidentally parked in a 'reserved for witches' spot.
When I got back there was a note on my windshield that said "you will be toad."
An accidentally overcooked Mennonite t-bone
I accidentally left some money in my jeans as they went through the wash.
I just worry because I know it’s illegal to launder money.
Instead of water, I accidentally put RedBull in the the back of my coffee maker this morning.
I was halfway to work before I realized I forgot my car.
I accidentally stepped on my cats tail. The cat jumped, and I ended up kicking the table pretty hard. “Ouch!” I yelled
“YOU, ow?” The cat replied in disbelief.
“ME-ow”
I threw some pills and accidentally broke one of my windows.
I didn’t realize they were pane killers.
A very honest dad and his son accidentally wander into a strip club.
A prostitute goes to the dad, and he notices her coming his way. He quickly closes his son's eyes.
Son: Dad, what was that woman wearing?
Dad: Uhh, nothing.
I accidentally swallowed the cat’s pill.
I went to subway and accidentally stole someone's lunch.
I accidentally handed my wife a glue stick instead of chap stick this morning.
She's still not speaking to me.
I accidentally sprayed deodorant in my mouth
Now when I talk I have a weird axe scent
I accidentally sprayed deodorant in my mouth today.
Now when I talk I have this weird axe scent.
I accidentally swallowed some scrabble tiles.
My next trip to the bathroom could spell disaster.
I accidentally got ketchup in my eyes
I’ve accidentally swallowed a bunch of Scrabble tiles.
My next trip to the bathroom could spell disaster.
I accidentally sprayed deodorant in my mouth.
Now when I talk I have a weird axe scent
My son accidentally smashed his foot on the table and as he was hopping around the room screaming in pain, I rushed to the phone, picked it up and asked him, "Do you want me to call..."
If you accidentally drop ice cubes on the floor, just gently kick them under the refrigerator.
Soon It’ll just be water under the fridge.
I accidentally played 'Dad' instead of 'Dead', when the bear attacked.
Now it can ride a bike without stabilisers.
Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.
