I think we can all agree that if Abraham Lincoln were alive today...
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︎ Dec 29 2022
What did Abraham Lincoln say when he was on trial?
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︎ Oct 20 2022
Abraham: "yesterday, I went to perform a sacrifice with my son"
"and Isaac asked, 'Dad, why can't we just use a goat?'"
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︎ Dec 03 2022
...and God said to Abraham, "Come fourth and recieve eternal life."
But Abraham came fifth, and got a toaster.
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︎ Nov 05 2022
Assuming he were alive today, why couldn't Abraham Lincoln be accused of a crime?
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︎ Jul 14 2022
Some people think Abraham Lincoln was a criminal.
But I know he's in a cent.
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︎ Apr 26 2022
Why was Abraham Lincoln considered honest?
Because he was always inn-a-cent
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︎ Aug 02 2022
What was Abraham Lincolnβs favorite pasta?
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︎ Aug 05 2022
Once Abraham Lincoln was accused of a dubious crime.
He knew that some day he'd be found in a cent.
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︎ Jul 04 2022
Abraham Lincoln was known to be VERY generousβ¦
He even went so far as to deliver the Gettys bird a dress.
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︎ Mar 12 2022
What is a Lawyerβs favourite drink?
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︎ Nov 30 2022
Why did Abraham Lincoln go to the play?
He wanted to be more open-minded.
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︎ Nov 03 2021
Abraham Lincoln once said,
"Don't believe everything you see on Reddit."
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︎ Aug 31 2021
Abraham Lincoln could never be convicted of a crime!
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︎ Sep 28 2021
My sex life is like Abraham Lincoln's.
My last four scores were seven years ago.
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︎ Jun 29 2021
Q: What do you think of that actor, Murray Abraham?
A: F. Murray Abraham?
Q: Geez, no need to be so angry.
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︎ Nov 13 2021
Anyone want to help me make a TV show about Abraham Lincoln?
The plan is to shoot it in front of a live audience.
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︎ Jan 15 2020
what do you call a smelly president?
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︎ Oct 13 2022
Abraham Lincoln was a rapper
he went by the name One Cent
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︎ Aug 21 2021
Penny production with Abraham Lincolnβs face seems to be quite low this year.
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︎ Mar 04 2021
What do Abraham Lincoln biographies and Instagram promoters have in common?
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︎ Nov 03 2020
Did you know Abraham Lincoln lived in Pennsylvania?
Surely you've heard of his Gettysburg Address!
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︎ Oct 12 2019
NBC is coming up with a docudrama about the life of Abraham Lincoln.
The finale will be shot before a live audience.
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︎ Sep 28 2019
You know they say JFK and Abraham Lincoln were the most open minded presidents
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︎ Oct 27 2018
What kind of vacuum would Abraham have?
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︎ Feb 28 2020
Did you know Mortal Kombat is based off a scandinavian church song?
It was called Finnish Hymn.
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︎ Feb 11 2022
What did Abraham Lincoln say when he watched a Call of Duty killcam?
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︎ Sep 13 2020
This tissue is a dancing tissueβ¦
Itβs got a little boogie in it!
OH just now at my Auntβs birthday party as she was unwrapping her presents.
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︎ Aug 21 2021
Abraham was the smartest man in the Bible. He knew a Lot.
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︎ Mar 08 2018
I told my son I was named after Albert Einstein.
"Isn't your name James?"
"Yes, but I was named AFTER Albert Einstein."
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︎ May 25 2022
Why did the cannibal love Abraham Lincoln?
Because of the greatest speech ever written, "Four score and seven ears ago..."
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︎ Mar 08 2020
I'm the proud owner of an axe that once belonged to Abraham Lincoln...
I replaced the head once,and the handle twice, but it feels good to own a piece of American history.
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︎ Dec 11 2019
Why was Isaac nervous about marrying Rebekah?
He was already left at the alter once
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︎ Oct 26 2021
John F. Kennedy and Abraham Lincoln,
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︎ Aug 19 2019
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︎ Oct 30 2019
Why couldn't Abraham Lincoln be arrested?
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︎ Feb 28 2021
Why hasn't Abraham Lincoln ever been charged with a crime?
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︎ Jan 27 2017
NBC is developing a new realistic docudrama about Abraham Lincoln.
The finale will be shot before a live audience.
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︎ Feb 04 2019
Why wasn't Abraham Lincoln guilty?
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︎ Jul 01 2019
What kind of vacuum did Abraham own?
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︎ Jul 15 2020
NBC is planning an old-fashioned sitcom about Abraham Lincoln.
It will be shot before a live audience.
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︎ May 21 2018
How do I know Abraham Lincoln never had trouble with the law?
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︎ Feb 19 2020
I own an axe that belonged to Abraham Lincoln
I replaced the head once,and the handle has been replaced twice.
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︎ Aug 08 2019
What did Abraham Lincoln say when he was arrested?
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︎ Apr 12 2019
HBO is making a new docudrama about the life of Abraham Lincoln.
The finale will be shot before a live audience.
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︎ Aug 19 2019
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