If Abraham Lincoln had gone on a hunger strike there would have been an Emaciation Proclamation.

Emaciation/Emancipation

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JukeboxSommelier
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2020
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What do Abraham Lincoln biographies and Instagram promoters have in common?

Lincoln bio.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/emagdaleno
πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2020
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What did Abraham Lincoln say when he watched a Call of Duty killcam?

Nice play.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ThePegaKris
πŸ“…︎ Sep 13 2020
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Anyone want to help me make a TV show about Abraham Lincoln?

The plan is to shoot it in front of a live audience.

πŸ‘︎ 613
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πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2020
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Why did the cannibal love Abraham Lincoln?

Because of the greatest speech ever written, "Four score and seven ears ago..."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Y2KoNo
πŸ“…︎ Mar 08 2020
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Did you know Abraham Lincoln lived in Pennsylvania?

Surely you've heard of his Gettysburg Address!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/89iroc
πŸ“…︎ Oct 12 2019
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NBC is coming up with a docudrama about the life of Abraham Lincoln.

The finale will be shot before a live audience.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Sep 28 2019
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How do I know Abraham Lincoln never had trouble with the law?

He's in a cent.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JoeFas
πŸ“…︎ Feb 19 2020
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I'm the proud owner of an axe that once belonged to Abraham Lincoln...

I replaced the head once,and the handle twice, but it feels good to own a piece of American history.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/shdchko
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2019
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Why wasn't Abraham Lincoln guilty?

Because he was in-a-cent

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ItzPhoen1x
πŸ“…︎ Jul 01 2019
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Why was Abraham Lincoln never put in jail? reddit.com/r/Jokes/commen…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/zvekl
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2019
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Why hasn't Abraham Lincoln ever been charged with a crime?

He's in a cent.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/OneCoolGuy234
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2017
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You know they say JFK and Abraham Lincoln were the most open minded presidents
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Spoonicide
πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2018
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Who killed Abraham Lincoln?

A clown walks into the police department looking for a job. The officer wants to ask him a few questions.

Officer: What’s 2+2?

Clown: (counts on his fingers) … 4!

Officer: Good.Β  What’s the square root of 100?

Clown: (thinking fiercely) … 10!

Officer: Very good! Now, who killed Abraham Lincoln?

Clown: Ummmm … I don’t know.

Officer: Well, you can go home and think about it. Come back tomorrow.

The clown goes home and calls up one of his friends, who asks him if he got the job. The clown says, excitedly, β€œNot only did I get the job, I’€™m already working on a murder case!”

Source: http://bestcleanfunnyjokes.com/who-killed-abraham-lincoln/

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tfraymond
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2019
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John F. Kennedy and Abraham Lincoln,

Were truly open-minded.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Squatyslav
πŸ“…︎ Aug 19 2019
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What did Abraham Lincoln say when he was arrested?

I'm in-a-cent

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Gluttonysin4
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12 2019
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The least guilty president is Abraham Lincoln.

It's because he's in a cent.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Maise12
πŸ“…︎ Apr 05 2019
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Did you know that Abraham Lincoln was wrongly accused?

Turns out he was in a cent.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/nyaleo
πŸ“…︎ Jul 27 2017
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Historians are now saying that Abraham Lincoln never felt guilt or shame...

He was in a cent.

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πŸ“…︎ May 25 2016
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Abraham Lincoln is the most pure president to have ever held office.

He was always very in-a-cent.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/The_Red_Road
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2013
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You know, I was named after Abraham Lincoln

He was named in 1809 and I was named in 1990

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sethborders
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2013
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NBC is developing a new realistic docudrama about Abraham Lincoln.

The finale will be shot before a live audience.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Feb 04 2019
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I own an axe that belonged to Abraham Lincoln

I replaced the head once,and the handle has been replaced twice.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/shdchko
πŸ“…︎ Aug 08 2019
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HBO is making a new docudrama about the life of Abraham Lincoln.

The finale will be shot before a live audience.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Aug 19 2019
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NBC is planning an old-fashioned sitcom about Abraham Lincoln.

It will be shot before a live audience.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 21 2018
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abraham lincoln never committed a crime

he was in a cent

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tehferretgamer
πŸ“…︎ Sep 24 2018
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Why was Abraham Lincoln never found guilty of a crime?

He was in a cent.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ande4100
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2018
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