Whoa!
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mister_Aitch
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2020
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Whoa Black Betty
πŸ‘︎ 102
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Thumbs0fDestiny
πŸ“…︎ Apr 14 2020
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Whoa oh here she comes. Watch out boys she'll chew you up. Whoa of here she comes, she's
πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ywkwpwnw
πŸ“…︎ Jun 28 2019
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Whoa, kitchen... Back off, man.
πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ“…︎ May 19 2018
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Whoa-oh Black Betty!
πŸ‘︎ 482
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πŸ‘€︎ u/stdubz
πŸ“…︎ Sep 15 2013
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Son: Whoa! That's a lot of ants!

Dad: Are you sure they're all ants? There's no uncles in there?

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PFTY
πŸ“…︎ May 16 2017
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I'll see myself out 🀣
πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2020
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Neo met Reese Witherspoon in a hotel room

after some time he said goodbye to his friend, Reese Wither

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/danielsoft1
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2020
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A coworker named Celsius recently retired at my work, so they hired a guy named Kelvin to replace him.

He's the new temp. Seems like a cool guy.

πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…︎ Jun 01 2020
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A scientist once froze himself at absolute zero.

He was 0K.

πŸ‘︎ 192
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πŸ‘€︎ u/umaborgee
πŸ“…︎ Aug 12 2020
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I'm on a seafood diet

I see food and I eat it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/artinmens
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2020
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Why do the Hong Kong police wake up early?

To beat the crowd.

Edit: All credit goes to u/AleoMoorea, who posted it here.

πŸ‘︎ 13k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheMasonX
πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2019
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I remember having rocks thrown at me because I was a nerd in high school.

As they hit me, I thought, β€œthat’s not gneiss.”

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2020
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A guy died from laughing too much.

It was a manslaughter.

Edit: Whoa, thanks for 250 upvotes!

Edit 2: 500 upvotes for a dad joke I made up on the fly? Thanks so much to everyone!

πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/UrMamFat
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2019
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My girlfriend changed a lot since she became vegan.

It's like I've never seen herbivore.

πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/simplyGagi
πŸ“…︎ Aug 25 2019
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r/dadjokes is recruiting moderators, join us!

Update: Thanks for all your applications! Give /u/parin89 and I a few days to take a look and confer!
(if you haven't put your application in yet, you've still got time)

-

Greetings /r/dadjokes subscribers,

Years have passed since this sub started up, and there are now literally millions of you. Whoa.

Two million people is just two many two handle for two moderators. Especially these days, when both /u/parin89 and I have two many other responsibilities and a whole lot less time. I'm 200% sure most of you would agree that more mods are needed.

So we're looking for 5 more moderators to get involved. If you're keen to apply, read the rest of this post and answer the three questions in your comment response.

Answer these 3 questions in your reply:

  1. How would you describe a dad joke?
  2. Do you currently moderate any other subreddits? If yes, which ones.
  3. You see a post that is not breaking the rules or reddit's posting guidelines, but is generally disliked by the community. What do you do?

Only apply if:

  • You're a reasonable, fair-minded and patient human
  • You're in it to keep this community a happy, friendly and safe place for other humans
  • You've got previous mod experience from a decent sized community (let's say... 5k+)
  • You're cool with the first few months being a trial run
  • You understand that while we could use more active moderation, and would benefit from a few more rules, one of the things that makes this community great is that it's pretty open (after all, dad jokes repeat a lot and not every "repost" is necessarily an opportunistic attempt to game karma)

We'd benefit from a few practical things as well, it would be great if:

  • You live in a timezone that covers off either the USA, the UK, Australia (we'd like a spread)
  • You've got some automod experience
  • You've got some sub-customisation experience

Don't apply if:

  • You're ready to come out swinging with a power tripping ban hammer
  • You're more concerned about Internet points than real people

We'll leave this stickied for a week and then come back to message a few people and make some selections.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tali3sin
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2019
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I said to my friend: "I wish I was a billionaire, just like my dad..."

My friend said "Whoa, your dad was a billionaire?"

I said "no, he also wished he was..."

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πŸ“…︎ Jul 12 2020
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This morning my wife said "I think the power went out last night."

I said "should we ground it?"

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Cblack12483
πŸ“…︎ Jun 10 2020
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Thyme to get a watch.
πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jesschechi
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2019
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My son drank his first beer

He didn’t like it. I told him he should drink two cups of tea before he drinks a beer, because two teas make beer better.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/iliveinyreyes
πŸ“…︎ Jun 18 2020
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Space shuttle made of keyboard keys does not contain any space bars
πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Oscar_Lilja
πŸ“…︎ Oct 10 2018
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Doctor: Do you want to hear the good news or the bad news?

Patient: Good news please. Doctor: we're naming a disease after you.

πŸ‘︎ 153
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πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2019
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Parting is such sweet sorrow.

What did the bald man exclaim when he had recieved a comb for a present?

Thanks, I'll never part with it.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/capngloval
πŸ“…︎ May 16 2020
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If you guys are gonna tell a joke, tell the whole thing. Did you hear about the Italian chef?

He pasta way. We cannoli do so much. His legacy will become a pizza history. Here today, gone tomato. I feel horrible, he just ran out of thyme.

I am sending olive my love to his friends. His wife is really upset too. Cheese crying. He died fusilli reasons. I never sausage a tragic situation.

it was a farfalle from grace.

Edit: Whoa! Woke up to so many upvotes! Thank you!

πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/alftrazign
πŸ“…︎ May 27 2018
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My Dad is currently riding his bicycle across America to raise awareness for Colon Cancer...

[and posted a picture of him and his bike on a rest day.] (https://i.imgur.com/IapqomG.png)

Edit: Whoa this is getting popular. I live on the other side of the world, and am about to go to bed, but I am just going to put his [donation page] (http://ccf.convio.net/site/TR?px=3433802&fr_id=1580&pg=personal) at the top of the post if anyone is interested. It is no big deal, but if someone is looking, I thought I'd put it at the top. Either way, you all are going to make his day when I show him how many people appreciated his joke. I just hope this doesn't mean that I have to laugh at all of them from now on...

πŸ‘︎ 5k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/travellingby
πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2017
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Where do poor Italians live?

In the spaghetto.

everyone is facepalming

... Spaget it?

  • My dad yesterday evening.
πŸ‘︎ 6k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Miss_anty_body
πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2017
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What's the biggest perk of being a roofer?

There are hot shingles in your area

πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Anthonybrose
πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2019
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I met a real nice vendor at a farmer's market, he was promoting this.
πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/megabits
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07 2017
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Where do you go if you want to stop a water flow by wedging in hundreds of small furry animals?

Hamster dam

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Octopus-Pawn
πŸ“…︎ Mar 03 2020
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My printer for the last 10 years finally died on me yesterday.

It was like a Brother to me.

πŸ‘︎ 26
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2019
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Doctor: Your brain seems to have deleted all info about 80s music!

Man: Yikes! What’s The Cure?

Doctor: Whoa! It’s worse than I thought.

πŸ‘︎ 27
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2019
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A man is starving in the desert and sees a bacon tree in the distance.

When he makes it over to the tree, a robber steps out and points a gun at him.

The man says, "whoa, I just wanted some of the bacon from the bacon tree!"

The robber grunts and says, "This ain't no bacon tree. This is a hambush!"

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/WERE_A_BAND
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2019
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I'm looking to sell my delorean

It's in great condition Has Low mileage And only driven from time to time

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/masesarkidd
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2019
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Never apologise for being good at puns
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DarkAnalyser
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2019
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My girlfriend dropped this one on me

I've been having some diarrhoea troubles lately, and after another long toilet visit I was delighted to tell her it was starting to get more substance, and becoming less fluid.

She simply replied: I'm glad you're getting your shit together.

Yes, she's still chuckling about it.

EDIT: Whoa, this blew up more than I expected! Thank you all :D I'll be sure to let her read the replies!

πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mad_like_hatter
πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2016
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Wife: I think I’ll switch to wireless bras.

Me: Whoa! I would need a password now?

πŸ‘︎ 184
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jul 12 2018
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Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin turns to the other and says: "Is it just me, or is it hot in here?"

The other muffin's jaw drops in shock as it exclaims: "Whoa! A talking muffin!"

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bike619
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12 2019
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A joke walks into a bar.

The bartender says, β€œWhoa! I never meta joke before.”

πŸ‘︎ 30
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12 2019
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Wanna hear a cat joke?

Naw, I’m just kitten

πŸ‘︎ 26
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ronin_777
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2018
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Wife needs a new car. I gave her wordplay. imgur.com/a/hg0UO
πŸ‘︎ 253
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πŸ“…︎ Sep 28 2015
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Two muffins were sitting in an oven, and the first looks over to the second, and says, β€œman, it’s really hot in here”. The second looks over at the first with a surprised look, and answers,

β€œWHOA, a talking muffin!"

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Quint_Cordewener
πŸ“…︎ Jun 03 2019
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There's a local restaurant my family frequents called "Deja Vu".

"Have we been here before? I'm sure we've been here before." - Every male member of my family (including my Alzheimer's stricken grandfather).

Every time.

πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Andysmith94
πŸ“…︎ Apr 06 2015
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So here’s a dirty joke for all you mind readers out there.
πŸ‘︎ 24
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ScaryThePirate
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2018
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Did you know Davy Crockett had three ears?

His right ear, his left ear, and his wild front ear.

πŸ‘︎ 70
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πŸ‘€︎ u/brownie-mix
πŸ“…︎ Jul 09 2018
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I let my buddy try these special glasses that let you visualize the words that come out of someone's mouth.

"Whoa", he replied, "I see what you're saying".

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ“…︎ Mar 10 2019
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