Dad: Are you sure they're all ants? There's no uncles in there?
after some time he said goodbye to his friend, Reese Wither
He's the new temp. Seems like a cool guy.
He was 0K.
To beat the crowd.
Edit: All credit goes to u/AleoMoorea, who posted it here.
As they hit me, I thought, “that’s not gneiss.”
It was a manslaughter.
Edit: Whoa, thanks for 250 upvotes!
Edit 2: 500 upvotes for a dad joke I made up on the fly? Thanks so much to everyone!
It's like I've never seen herbivore.
Update: Thanks for all your applications! Give /u/parin89 and I a few days to take a look and confer!
(if you haven't put your application in yet, you've still got time)
-
Greetings /r/dadjokes subscribers,
Years have passed since this sub started up, and there are now literally millions of you. Whoa.
Two million people is just two many two handle for two moderators. Especially these days, when both /u/parin89 and I have two many other responsibilities and a whole lot less time. I'm 200% sure most of you would agree that more mods are needed.
So we're looking for 5 more moderators to get involved. If you're keen to apply, read the rest of this post and answer the three questions in your comment response.
Answer these 3 questions in your reply:
- How would you describe a dad joke?
- Do you currently moderate any other subreddits? If yes, which ones.
- You see a post that is not breaking the rules or reddit's posting guidelines, but is generally disliked by the community. What do you do?
Only apply if:
- You're a reasonable, fair-minded and patient human
- You're in it to keep this community a happy, friendly and safe place for other humans
- You've got previous mod experience from a decent sized community (let's say... 5k+)
- You're cool with the first few months being a trial run
- You understand that while we could use more active moderation, and would benefit from a few more rules, one of the things that makes this community great is that it's pretty open (after all, dad jokes repeat a lot and not every "repost" is necessarily an opportunistic attempt to game karma)
We'd benefit from a few practical things as well, it would be great if:
- You live in a timezone that covers off either the USA, the UK, Australia (we'd like a spread)
- You've got some automod experience
- You've got some sub-customisation experience
Don't apply if:
- You're ready to come out swinging with a power tripping ban hammer
- You're more concerned about Internet points than real people
We'll leave this stickied for a week and then come back to message a few people and make some selections.
My friend said "Whoa, your dad was a billionaire?"
I said "no, he also wished he was..."
I said "should we ground it?"
He didn’t like it. I told him he should drink two cups of tea before he drinks a beer, because two teas make beer better.
Patient: Good news please. Doctor: we're naming a disease after you.
What did the bald man exclaim when he had recieved a comb for a present?
Thanks, I'll never part with it.
He pasta way. We cannoli do so much. His legacy will become a pizza history. Here today, gone tomato. I feel horrible, he just ran out of thyme.
I am sending olive my love to his friends. His wife is really upset too. Cheese crying. He died fusilli reasons. I never sausage a tragic situation.
it was a farfalle from grace.
Edit: Whoa! Woke up to so many upvotes! Thank you!
[and posted a picture of him and his bike on a rest day.] (https://i.imgur.com/IapqomG.png)
Edit: Whoa this is getting popular. I live on the other side of the world, and am about to go to bed, but I am just going to put his [donation page] (http://ccf.convio.net/site/TR?px=3433802&fr_id=1580&pg=personal) at the top of the post if anyone is interested. It is no big deal, but if someone is looking, I thought I'd put it at the top. Either way, you all are going to make his day when I show him how many people appreciated his joke. I just hope this doesn't mean that I have to laugh at all of them from now on...
In the spaghetto.
everyone is facepalming
... Spaget it?
- My dad yesterday evening.
There are hot shingles in your area
Hamster dam
It was like a Brother to me.
Man: Yikes! What’s The Cure?
Doctor: Whoa! It’s worse than I thought.
When he makes it over to the tree, a robber steps out and points a gun at him.
The man says, "whoa, I just wanted some of the bacon from the bacon tree!"
The robber grunts and says, "This ain't no bacon tree. This is a hambush!"
It's in great condition Has Low mileage And only driven from time to time
I've been having some diarrhoea troubles lately, and after another long toilet visit I was delighted to tell her it was starting to get more substance, and becoming less fluid.
She simply replied: I'm glad you're getting your shit together.
Yes, she's still chuckling about it.
EDIT: Whoa, this blew up more than I expected! Thank you all :D I'll be sure to let her read the replies!
Me: Whoa! I would need a password now?
The other muffin's jaw drops in shock as it exclaims: "Whoa! A talking muffin!"
The bartender says, “Whoa! I never meta joke before.”
“WHOA, a talking muffin!"
"Have we been here before? I'm sure we've been here before." - Every male member of my family (including my Alzheimer's stricken grandfather).
Every time.
His right ear, his left ear, and his wild front ear.
"Whoa", he replied, "I see what you're saying".
