Whew Puns

"Whew, what a skink!"

Doc said it's Carpool Tunnel Syndrome

There are these two muffins in an over baking and one muffin says, "Whew, it hot as hell in here". The first muffin looks at him and says, "Holy Shit!! A TALKING MUFFIN!!"

I answered negatively, "does ant matter".

"Whew, I'm pooped."

...which was lucky, because he stepped on a land mine...

Man: you are doing great honey, just a little bit longer. Doctor: ok one more big push, ready push push push push. Woman: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAA EEEEE! (SLAP) Baby: waaa! Mom: hu huh whew Dad: Happy birthday son

Whew, glad I got that off my chest.

Damn it

• Phil Dunphy (Modern Family - Halloween 4: The Revenge of Rod Skyhook)

Stopped at the grocery store last night. My teen daughter always picks out the apples (so we know we get ones she likes). When she grabbed one from the middle of the bin, a few on the top rolled to the bottom. She briefly panicked, then turned to me and says "whew! I almost caused an apple-anche!"

Me "Oh no, my phone was in airplane mode." (Started to switch it off)

Husband "Whew, good thing you turned that off it might have taken off on you."

Me: Whew! I thought you are going to come back with a different baby.

Whew. best case scenario

Whew! I'm nacred...

Not paying attention, I nearly dropped the skull. Without skipping a beat, I said "Whew, nearly lost my head for a second there!"

We took a sharp turn and the visibility improved a lot. I said, whew, no more squinting.

My boyfriend said, glad that's behind us.

Help, does this mean I'm pregnant?

My girlfriend NEVER drinks, but she had a little bit of a stressful day this day and was kidding. We were walking into the grocery store after work.

Her: Whew, I feel like a beer!

Me: [squint and give the slightest grin]

Her: I don't feel like A beer! I feel like HAVING A beer!

Me: Well I feel like a beer. Look at all these hops. [hop a few times with feet together like an idiot]

She enjoyed my lame joke.